Queen of Your Own Life by Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff

Queen of Your Own Life is an attitude, a way of life and a call to action for grown up women everywhere.

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Queen of Your Own Life

Archive for 2015

Illuminate Your Own Path

Tuesday, December 29th, 2015

There were days when she just couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. On those days, she knew she'd need to sparkle a little bit brighter to illuminate the way, for herself and others. - Queenisms™

There were days when she just couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. On those days, she knew she’d need to sparkle a little bit brighter to illuminate the way, for herself and others. – Queenisms™

Being able to turn on your own inner light and use it for yourself and others is about resilience. We all get knocked about a bit in life. But that ability to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and keep going is about resilience. So can we learn to be resilient? We believe we can. How? Through practice. Try this today. Choose something small that’s annoying you or bothering you. Let’s say you hate standing in line to return gifts. Go do this. And while you are there, practice saying to yourself, “I will be patient, joyful, kind and thoughtful in my speech, my tone, and my body language. And, I will let go of any resentment or frustration.” Practicing this in a situation that is frustrating, but not life threatening, exercises your sparkle muscles. Can you think of other situations where you could practice?

The Occasional Blues

Monday, December 28th, 2015

She got the blues on occasion just like everyone else. She just chose not to roll around in them for too long. - Queenisms™

She got the blues on occasion just like everyone else. She just chose not to roll around in them for too long. – Queenisms™

Being sad, or feeling down is a common experience, especially following a big holiday. For some, the inability to pull themselves up out of that feeling is a sign of clinical depression and for those people, professional assistance is valuable. But the vast majority of us have a choice. We can wallow around for extended periods of time, hoping others will notice we are blue, relishing the attention we get, and perpetrating the cycle of pouting, reward, boredom and more pouting. Or, we can have a good talk with ourselves and decide we’d prefer to get our attention from a more positive place. Rolling around in our blues creates a habit of unhappiness. Being of service to others, practicing positive actions and thoughts and banishing negative self-talk are just three ways to shake the unhappiness habit.

Create Your Drama Free Zone

Sunday, December 27th, 2015

She declared her life a, "Drama Free Zone." She had decided to not let anyone else's need to be a Drama Queen affect her day. - Queenisms™

She declared her life a, “Drama Free Zone.” She had decided to not let anyone else’s need to be a Drama Queen affect her day. – Queenisms™

It may surprise you to know that you’re in charge of creating the atmosphere around you. You have the ability to allow drama, on the whole, or move away from drama. Set your intentions today to creating your own personal drama free zone and let everyone know you mean business. When artificial drama erupts, you can point out that this is a “Drama Free Zone,” and request that the drama creator “move their car.” A little humor sometimes goes a long way. Happy New Year Queens.

 

Bits and Pieces are Fabulous

Tuesday, December 22nd, 2015

Her life was all bits and pieces of fabulous, mixed together with messes and frayed edges. But in hindsight, she had to admit, she was doing a pretty good job. - Queenisms™

Her life was all bits and pieces of fabulous, mixed together with messes and frayed edges. But in hindsight, she had to admit, she was doing a pretty good job. – Queenisms™

Pssst. Here’s a secret. Everyone’s life is a mix of fabulous and messy, frayed edges. No one has a “perfect” life and beating yourself up because you don’t is utter nonsense and really not useful. So nip it in the bud and start telling the truth. You are doing a pretty good job. Say it!

Set Firm Holiday Boundaries

Monday, December 21st, 2015

This holiday season she could often be heard exclaiming, "Ho, Ho, No!" Nothing felt as good as setting a gentle but firm holiday boundary. - Queenisms™

This holiday season she could often be heard exclaiming, “Ho, Ho, No!” Nothing felt as good as setting a gentle but firm holiday boundary. – Queenisms™

The word no is not selfish. No is self-preservation sometimes. Sure we all must do things we don’t want to do on occasion. But if we’re constantly fulfilling the requests of everyone but ourselves, we’re not saints, we’re doormats. When we’re doormats, we begin to harbor resentment toward those who ask. They don’t deserve our wrath. They asked, it was our job to respond honestly, we didn’t and now we’re angry at them. Makes no sense, right? When we are honest in our responses about what we can do, what we’re willing to do and what we’re able to do, we’re setting strong boundaries, being truthful and ultimately building friendships and families based on mutual respect. Now, tell us what you think?

A Royal Fantasy

Sunday, December 20th, 2015

She had a fantasy in which she was swept off her feet, carried into the bedroom . . .and allowed eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. - Queenisms™

She had a fantasy in which she was swept off her feet, carried into the bedroom . . .and allowed eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. – Queenisms™

Oh how we wish we could sleep uninterrupted by bathroom breaks, worry, regret, hot flashes or whatever it is that keeps you up at night. While we cannot control everything, we can offer you a little tip we use. We keep a little notebook and pen right on the nightstand and whenever one of those brilliant ideas, deep fears or worries, or “must do tomorrow” things jolts us from our sleep, we write it down and release it to tomorrow. The rest of the things that wake us up require a sense of humor about the aging process. What about you? Any special tricks for making our sleep fantasy come true?

My Circus, My Monkeys

Saturday, December 19th, 2015

Whenever she heard someone say, "not my circus, not my monkeys," it made her laugh. Because it was her circus, they were her monkeys and she wouldn't have it any other way. - Queenisms™

Whenever she heard someone say, “not my circus, not my monkeys,” it made her laugh. Because it was her circus, they were her monkeys and she wouldn’t have it any other way. – Queenisms™

We’re being a little cheeky here but wanted to make a point. It is often very valuable to keep our focus on those things we can impact and to give ourselves permission to leave the rest alone, as in “not my circus, not my monkeys.” As the Serenity Prayer so famously says “grant me the wisdom to know the difference.” Every once and a while it’s important to remember that the chaos around us is a sign that we are engaged in the world, immersed in a family or friendship circle, caring about loved ones and living life with our hearts. That’s a messy business. Be safe. Practice discernment. And, allow yourselves to be in the messiness of joyful relationships. Allowing ourselves to love other human beings is a messy business, and we’re gratefully continuing to live in the mess.

Gratitude for Support

Friday, December 18th, 2015

She was grateful to have found friends who loved and supported her no matter what. - Queenisms™

She was grateful to have found friends who loved and supported her no matter what. – Queenisms™

One of the most powerful practices in the art of happiness is gratitude. Take a moment to think about friends, family or even acquaintances who have come into your life at one time or another, and loved you no matter what you did or didn’t do. Have you ever allowed yourself to love someone for who they are and not for who they might be, were or could be if they just listened to you? We practice this by saying to ourselves, “Oh look, my wacky friend is doing that thing that sometimes drives me crazy. It seems to give her comfort. How wonderful.” There are many other examples of accepting someone’s behavior and loving them anyway. Now, this can be a slippery slope. Any time someone’s behavior puts them or you at risk or distresses you, that’s a different story. We’re talking about quirks here. We’re talking about accepting people for the messy, flawed, but wonderful people they are. To have such a friend, be such a friend.

Make Someone Snort with Laughter

Thursday, December 17th, 2015

She had one hard and fast rule these days. . . Spend more time with people who make you snort liquid out your nose or laugh so hard tears run down your cheeks. - Queenisms™

She had one hard and fast rule these days. . . Spend more time with people who make you snort liquid out your nose or laugh so hard tears run down your cheeks. – Queenisms™

We highly recommend the power of a good, deep belly laugh. It puts everything into perspective, brings a burst of oxygen into our lungs, releases tension from our whole bodies and simply leaves us unable to feel down. We request that you spend more time with those people who cause you to feel this way and less time with people who cause you to feel doubt, fear, hurt, regret or any other negative emotion – including yourself. This is our command. So sayeth the Queens!

Last Minute Women’s Gifts under $15

Tuesday, December 15th, 2015

Queen of Your Own Life 2016 calendar and the brand new Queen of Your Own Life gift book are now on sale.

The woman who delivers your mail has hopes, dreams, struggles and joys just like yours. The hairdresser who knows just how to hide your cowlick and make you look your best, goes home at night to the same doubts, challenges and little victories as you. The old friend you’ve known for years but have lost touch with is longing to reconnect. There are so many people for whom a small gift would mean the world. And then, of course, there are those with whom you always exchange a little something but you’re at a loss for just the right gift. Solutions? Read on.

Queen of Your Own Life: 2016 Page a Day Calendar 

This is a full year of full color Queenisms designed to uplift, encourage, entertain and simply cause happiness. We wrote it, we designed it and our publisher did an amazing job of producing it. It’s adorable if we do say so ourselves.

Queen of Your Own Life – The Gift Book

We cannot say this enough. Every woman on earth deserves to have this little book tucked into her mailbox or under her tree or on her plate waiting for her as a gift. This book makes us squeal every time we open it and we’re so darned proud of it, we’re not even embarrassed to keep begging you to take a chance on it and buy it for yourself or a friend. It’s that wonderful – we guarantee it, in all modesty.

The Queen’s Favorite Lip Shimmer Stocking Stuffer – We think these thin little lip gloss add just the right bit of shimmer and shine to everyone’s lips and they have the added benefit of moisturizing and a wee bit of color.

It’s Good to Be Queen coffee mug  This bright and happy coffee mug will remind her, every day, that she is in charge of her own happiness!

And finally, something completely free. Write a letter to someone and say thank you or simply “I’m thinking of you.” Put some time and thought into what you say. Mean it. Put a stamp on it and let it come to them as a lovely surprise they can open and enjoy over a hot cup of whatever they love drinking. Snail mail takes planning, thought and effort. Nothing says love more than that.