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Queen of Your Own Life

Calm | Naming and Claiming Our Royalty

by Kathy Kinney

Calm.  Look in the mirror and repeat after us, “I don’t have to waste my time being anxious.  From now on I’m going to breathe in calm, breathe out anxiety and carry on in a royal way.  So sayeth the Queen.”

I’m cooking for Thanksgiving and today I did some pre-shopping so I only have to do a quick trip to the store next week for the fresh stuff.  As I was driving home, I began to fret about when I should buy bread for my stuffing.  Is day old bread dry enough or should it be two day old and soon I found myself falling head first into a little anxiety spiral.  About two and a half minutes later, I finally came up for air and started to laugh.  Who cares if the bread is one or two days old – just toast it and it’ll be fine.  Duh?

I am sometimes afflicted by foolish low-grade anxiety.  It’s my default response learned in my childhood and always, when I calm down, there is a simple solution like –just toast it.  A solution I could have easily come to if I had stayed calm in the first place and just skipped the fretting.  When I was younger I didn’t know any better but now I do and as soon as I catch myself starting to do the “anxiety twist” I stop and giggle myself to a big CALM DOWN.

This inspiring image is a scan of the original KEEP CALM and CARRY ON poster that was issued during WWII to boost morale in the U.K.  I thought about having it tattooed on my forehead or at least the back of my hand but I’m not into pain.

Instead I’ve printed it out and tucked it around my house and taped it to a mirror or two.  It’s so perfect not only because of the message but because it has a crown on it.  I am the Queen of my Own Life and I don’t have to stay stuck in a useless old behavior.  It’s my life and my decision.  So for today I have decided to breathe in calm, breathe out anxiety and carry on in a royal way.

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3 Responses to “Calm | Naming and Claiming Our Royalty”

  1. Lisa says:

    This message is such a timeless classic! Like you, I’m prone to low-grade anxiety (and, like you, usually realize a perfectly simple solution to the problem eventually). I’ve also had numerous physical reactions to anxiety since I was a teenager. Enough is enough!

    Having realized this a few years ago, I make a more concerted effort to rein in my nonsensical anxiety and overcome it with pragmatic brilliance. After all, I am my own Queen, and pragmatic brilliance is the royal way.

    Thank you for this message today. And here’s to all of us carrying on with calm and actually ENJOYING our Thanksgiving preparations and holiday. Cheers!

  2. Melissa says:

    I was so happy to read this! I have all sorts of grades of anxiety, and just came off of a two day raging anxiety attack. Part of it has to do with having Thanksgiving at my house, for the first time in 10 years, first time since my divorce. But I’ve made a plan, am doing a little bit every day, and feel better about it. This post was a good reminder to me that I’m not alone, and that I need to work harder to deal appropriately with my anxiety. Thanks Kathy!! Love you guys, love this website!!

  3. cindy says:

    Queen Melissa, We’re thinking about you today as you host your first post-divorce Thanksgiving and we’re sending you supportive thoughts that you can enjoy this day surrounded by your loved ones.

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