Queen of Your Own Life by Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff

Queen of Your Own Life is an attitude, a way of life and a call to action for grown up women everywhere.

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Queen of Your Own Life

Change Everything

When she moved from "let me do it for you," to "let me love you while you learn to do it yourself," everything changed. - Queenisms™

When she moved from “let me do it for you,” to “let me love you while you learn to do it yourself,” everything changed. – Queenisms™

Before you say this is easier said than done, let us say it for you. We want to love and protect and nurture our family and friends. These instincts come from a place of love but there comes a time when many of us cross over the line from helping to enabling learned helplessness. And, in the process we deplete ourselves, blur the boundaries that form a healthy relationship and lose ourselves in the process. If any of this sounds familiar, you are not alone. Been there, done that. But we’re here to tell you it is possible to do things differently. It will, however take practice. We start by admitting to ourselves those circumstances in which our desire to smooth the path for others may possibly be holding both them and us back from experiencing the joy of “doing it yourself.” When we do everything for everyone, no one wins. We’d love to hear your experiences here, Queens. When we share our stories, we share our strength.

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2 Responses to “Change Everything”

  1. Sarah Windham says:

    I’m a rescuer and I know there are many others out there who also feel a deep need to fix or rescue other people (or situations.) Lately I’ve been told that I need to rescue myself which is WAY harder than fixing everyone else. How can it be, I ask myself, that I’m ok letting myself down, but can’t bear the thought of letting others down (when I know they can learn to take care of themselves)?

  2. Clara Oakes says:

    It took me 60 years and some therapy to learn this lesson! I wanted to “fix” everything and thought I could by doing everything for everybody. What I finally realized is that my responsibility to my family was to help them learn to do for themselves and I was not helping by doing it all myself. The sad part is I see my daughter doing the same thing. I am sharing this lesson with her in hopes she can learn to help her family learn to do it themselves.

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