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Queen of Your Own Life

Choosing Me | The Battle for You

by Kathy Kinney

I often find myself trying to figure out what part of me gets in the way of me doing what’s best for me.  Where does that voice come from that says, “Just a little bit more,” when I’m trying to tell myself one spoonful of almond butter is more than enough.   In the morning when I’m trying to get out of my home office and go to the gym what is that impulse that keeps me stuck to my chair as if wrapped in heavy chains?  I guess what I’m really trying to figure out is how do you fight the “Battle For You” when it’s you that you’re fighting?

I plead, pray, yell, beg and even try to bribe myself into doing what I know is best for me.  In the morning if you were in my head you would hear, “I will give you a spoonful of almond butter if you take your vitamins.” Even better is me begging myself to go to the gym, “Please, please, please, PLEASE JUST GET UP FROM THE CHAIR AND GO TO THE GYM – if you do you can have some almond butter when you get back.” I’m like a parent dealing with a stubborn little child and this, I believe, is the key to the problem.

No matter how old I get or how much responsibility I have I will always be the child I was.  And, what that child needed and still wants is to be heard and loved – of course by people around me, but above, all by me.  It sounds a little silly, but I need to hear from me that I am there for me.  Instead of going through the drama of begging and bribing I need to reassure myself that I will make time to take care of me.  It doesn’t mean I can’t take of others it means that I have to put myself on the list first or I won’t be able to help or be of service to anyone else.

So, for today I’m committing to you that when it comes time to take my vitamins instead of bribing myself with almond butter I’ll say, “I’m going to take my vitamins because I choose me.”  When it’s time to go to the gym I’m going to stop my work, get up and go because I choose me.  It’s simply time for me to choose me.  If not now when?

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