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Queen of Your Own Life

Courage | Back to Me Month

by Kathy Kinney

Courage.  Look in the mirror and repeat after us, “I have more than enough courage to live the adventure that is my life.”

It’s September, the annual “Back To Me” month.  If you could go back and talk to the younger you, at any age, what would you say?

This is a picture of me taken the Christmas that I was three.  I am obviously blindingly happy – and who wouldn’t be – I got a stove, a big doll, my own suitcase and a rocking chair that played Rock-a-Bye Baby while you rocked.

When I think back on my life, this may be one of the last photos taken of me reflecting that pure joy of just being alive.  Soon, after there was much illness, death and any number of difficult passages that life has a way of throwing in front of us.  If I could go back and talk to me then I would say, “You’re going to be alright – no matter what.  You will have the courage to survive it all just don’t lose your sense of joy and fun.  Also, I really like your robe.”

It takes a lot of courage to be Queen of your own life, but it is worth it.  So sayeth the Queen.

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9 Responses to “Courage | Back to Me Month”

  1. Carole Sanek says:

    If I could go back to a younger age I would tell myself “Don’t worry about all that frizzy hair someday someone will invent a smoothing treatment and you can say good-bye to frizz.” I write this with complete seriousness. I went through my life with the feeling ugly because I never had the straight smooth shiny hair that everyone else had. I do not have curls I have frizz there is a big diffrence. Would I have been happier if my hair was smooth, I am not sure I might have been more confident.

    I am not a shallow person, writing about my frizz is a way for me to ease into the many things I had to deal with frizzy or smooth. Did it matter to my doctors when they treated me for breast cancer at 46? No and it did not matter to me because even though I have shiny smooth hair (now) people tell me all the time how much they miss the messy hair I used to have. I am not my hair – I am about what is inside, the woman who now works with breast cancer thrivers everywhere many of who lost their hair for a while.

    However at age 6 when other little girls were poking fun at me, I would go back and say to myself, this is but one part of your life that will teach you that being different can be a very good thing.

  2. cindy lutz says:

    I would go right back to that same age – when you were 3 – and walk right up the street and play with that stove and doll with you!!! This is an adorable picture! So sayeth the Queen!

  3. Margie Weaver says:

    I would go back to my college years and take education courses, as my mom encouraged me to do. Back then, I thought that my mom had NO CLUE about who was, and if she even suggested a path, I veered as far off of that course as possible. Turns out she was right – I would have enjoyed a career in education, I believe. Amazing how well mom really did know me!

  4. cindy says:

    Margie, maybe there’s a way you can still pursue something in education.

  5. Terry Willen says:

    WoW! So many things I’d tell toddler-me, child-me, teen-me, young-adult-me! Where do I begin?! I think I’d first hold “me” and tell myself to love “me”. My Dad walked out on my Mom, my sister and I when I was about 3. We were left homeless. That was the beginning of a lot of heartache and hard times that still effects me to this day. (And I am 54!) But my Mom was my hero, as she eventually got a job, went to school, and provided a one bedroom apartment for us. I would tell myself how lucky I really am. I would tell myself that my Dad was ill with alcoholism and it wasn’t true that he didn’t love or care for me enough. He was just not in his right mind. I would tell myself never to turn away from God. To accept that the mistakes I was making will be a blessing. That I should never feel ashamed of any of my feelings. And last I would tell “me” to start using my passions then!!!!

  6. Barbara Neary says:

    I would go back to my teenage self and try to get me to set some goals for my life instead of “slip sliding away”.

  7. Raven says:

    If I could go back….I would say “only go with your heart and your gut instincts with everything”. I remember saying to myself as a young adult that I was going to wait until I was at least 27 to get married and I veered off course knowing it was not the right course. 15 years later, he left with a myriad of non-excuses…..left me with nothing to show for all of that time I gave to him. I had no “me”. I have spent the last 10 years trying to find “me” and I have had highs and lows along the way and it has not been easy. I wish I could go back and tell my 3 year old self to not ever, ever, ever lose motivation and to not ever give up on my dreams. I have lost much time in these low spots and I would tell myself as a child to not stop EVER. I would also tell “me” to not let the negative parts of my childhood rip me apart over and over and to not ever let anyone beat me down with words. And, to always trust what I am hearing in my mind………..to control my emotions and not let them control me. And, to go out and do whatever it is I most desire and not sit and wait for things to happen…..to acknowledge the pain and anger and to never let it hold me back from what I should be doing. I would also tell “me” to forget about the past…..to let it go NOW before it is too late. That there are people in this world who love me for who I am…..and always will. And, that there is always a way out of the black hole and into the light……….

  8. cindy says:

    Those are very wise words, Raven, and they’ve been well learned. Bravo!

  9. Raven says:

    Thank you, Cindy, for your kind words. I realized last night when I wrote my comments that I need to literally “breathe” what I wrote every day to stay out of the black holes I find myself in from time to time and to know that my dreams will come true, somehow, if I stay on this course of “belief” in ME!

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