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Queen of Your Own Life

Enough | Naming and Claiming Our Royalty

by Cindy Ratzlaff

Black Friday always leaves me torn between searching the ads for a deal that is worth getting up at the crack of dawn and battling my way into a store and an overwhelming sense of not wanting to add another “thing” to my life.

This year, the “no new things” feelings won out and I didn’t venture out on Black Friday. I did, however, miss the ritual of getting up early, picking up my sister and sometimes my daughter and heading out on the hunt for that special toy or too good to be true bargain.

That got me thinking about rituals that excite us and shake it up, set us on fire and make us feel energized.  That’s what I really missed this Black Friday.  How can I add something like that to my life without risking my life at the local Wal-Mart at midnight?

Let’s think of some ways to kick off the holiday season (or celebrate along the way) that give us an adrenaline rush but don’t break the budget or entice us to buy things we don’t need or can’t afford.  Here’s my first brainstorm.  Please add yours and let’s see if we can create some new rituals.

1.  Gather a group of dear women friends, at midnight, on Black Friday, and treated yourselves to a champagne breakfast.  Go around the table and have each woman say one wonderful thing about herself.

2.  Give one thing away every day of the holiday season instead of adding new things to your life. There are shelters, women’s centers, GoodWill and other organizations who can benefit from your gently used items. Choose things that are somewhat hard to part with and picture them being well used and appreciated by another woman in need.

3.  Write notes. Write a note to five people in your life who have helped you, encouraged you, uplifted you and tell them exactly how they were a positive force in your life.  Mail the notes as your ritual.

Please add your ideas here so we can build a beautiful list of potential new rituals to add joy, celebration and more happiness to our lives to combat the onslaught of messages telling us to “consume” more.

So sayeth the Queen.

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14 Responses to “Enough | Naming and Claiming Our Royalty”

  1. Carol says:

    Volunteer at a place that has meaning for you or a place that you would just enjoy helping out at. I do that and believe me it’s worth it.

  2. Janet Darcy says:

    I love the idea. I think it’s wonderful!

  3. Jenny says:

    I just love this! I don’t have sister’s, daughters, or friends near to do the whole Black Friday thing and it’s no fun by yourself. And I want to give more, consume less and simplify my life anyway. I love the thought of choosing items that are somewhat hard to part with for giving away, it’s “easy” to part with our junk. I also always reflect on how grateful I am especially at this time of year and the people I am grateful for and how I “should” send them a note telling them but I never seem to get around to it. Setting this time aside as a ritual for doing this would be just the thing.. some pretty note cards, some nice music and some hot tea or cocoa and what a pleasant time blessing others for the blessing they have been to me all while the rest of the world is stressing and fighting over parking spaces and saving $10.00. Thank you ladies! Blessings to you!

  4. cindy says:

    I’m with you, Queen Jenny. I’d rather spend $10 on tea, postage and notecards than parking and I know how much I love getting mail. I’ll bet others enjoy it oo.

  5. cindy says:

    Queen Janet, we agree! Let’s do it.

  6. cindy says:

    That is a fantastic idea, Queen Carol. Our time is one of the best gifts we can offer.

  7. Kristie says:

    I love the idea of a a midnight champagne brunch! I vow to focus less on the $$$ and more on spreading joy this season by smiling everyday~ even when I feel like growling 🙂

  8. Kate Dennis says:

    In the town I grew up in, the Christmas Parade was the morning of Black Friday. I would go to the parade then stop off and buy myself a special lunch on the way home. I never went shopping. I did this for years because I didn’t want to be in the crowds.

  9. carol wright says:

    My daughter decided to use Black Friday to start a tradition of driving out to the country to a tree farm to cut your own tree for Christmas. She has 3 daughters-the oldest is 3.
    Here’s why it was special: The whole family was together in one place outdoors having fun together. And, believe it or not- all trees cost the same-no matter how big they were-and they were a deal. We were waaay out in the country with mountain views all around. The owners had picnic tables and we brought along a picnic lunch-turkey salad made from our Thanksgiving turkey and the chocolate chip cookies the 3 year old and I made together for Thanksgiving. The owner even gave us hot mulled cider she made over an outdoor stove and gave candy canes to the little ones after lunch. We took a long time walking around selecting the best tree and soaking up the warm sunny day. We also sat a long time after lunch and just talked to the tree farm owner. We heard her life story and she heard a lot about ours. We parted friends and let her know we would recomment her tree farm to all of our friends. We drove home and then ate supper together at our house (grandparents)) after that fun day. We hope to continue this tradition. Nothing was purchased at a store, yet everything about the day was warm and memorable.

  10. Leslie says:

    Last year my two grown daughters and I began a pre-holiday bake-together. My youngest daughter hosted it last year and this year my eldlest daughter is hosting. The date is already set. I just love it because we are all making and spending quality family time together.

  11. cindy says:

    This is such a wonderful idea. You’re all honoring your relationship and building new memories, all while creating a ritual celebration, “Cookie Making Day.” Love it.

  12. cindy says:

    What a wonderful new ritual you’re creating and I love the fact that you’ve also made a new friend in the process. Bravo, Queen Carol, and thank you so much for sharing this beautiful story with us.

  13. cindy says:

    I, too, remember the Christmas Parade being the beginning of the holiday season and it was always about seeing the sites and not shopping the stores. We can all create new rituals for ourselves. For some it could be turkey sandwiches and football games. For others it could be cookie making and for still others, it could be a day to indulge in their favorite hobby. Whatever it is, the idea is ritual that nourishes instead of rituals that cause frenzy. THAT said, I do know a set of sisters who use Black Friday as a time to get together, group shop, end the night with a diner breakfast together and a feeling of having been shopping warriors. For them, it’s a bonding day. So I’m not against the shopping, only the feelings it gives me, personally.

  14. cindy says:

    It makes us smile to hear you say beautiful note cards and nice music because both of us are stationary junkies. A nice pen makes our heart flutter. Enjoy, Queen Jenny.

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