Queen of Your Own Life by Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff

Queen of Your Own Life is an attitude, a way of life and a call to action for grown up women everywhere.

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Queen of Your Own Life

Forward | The Battle for You

by Cindy Ratzlaff

Both Kathy and I have been writing here about out battles with weight loss, self-esteem and the battle to give ourselves permission to continue to grow and live life to the fullest. 

I always thought that by the time I reached my 50’s, I’d have this all figured out.  I don’t remember my Grandmother ever talking about finding her passions or battling low self-esteem.  But I think she probably had all the same thoughts and concerns I do.  It’s just that no one gave her, including herself, permission to think about these things.  She simply did what needed to be done, put herself at the end of a long list of tasks and soldiered on.  It’s not that she was without joy.  But she didn’t stop and ponder much.

I was in North Dakota last week.  I was born there and my grandmother lived there.  I spent many carefree summer weeks there gathering chicken eggs, riding horses, picking fresh beans in the garden, bathing in a metal tub in the backyard and playing on the platform of the grain mill.  So going back there to visit, without my Grandmother being alive, was bittersweet.  My life there was so joyful there and her’s was so hard.

I’ve been trying to figure out what life lessons I can take from her pioneer prairie life without sacrificing the strides I’ve already made in my own journey.  I admire her ability to look forward and not backward.  She didn’t spend a lot of time in regret.  She got up every morning and accomplished amazing things.  She set her feet on the floor and her eyes on the horizon and got stuff done.

So today I’ll honor my grandmother and do the same thing.  I’ll make a list of what needs to be done and focus my attention there, leaving regret for those things not yet done behind me.

Is there some trait or value you admire from your elders? What would you adopt, from them, if you could?  Let’s make our own lists and keep what worked and banish the rest.  So sayeth this Queen.

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One Response to “Forward | The Battle for You”

  1. mary says:

    Dear Queens,

    I wonder if you truly realize what a life altering book you have written. THis morning I had the strongest moment of epiphany. I realized fully who the “Mongol Hordes” are and its me. Only I call my Mongol Horde “The Whisperer”. Because thats what she does. She whispers all the hateful, mean, disparaging things to me. SHe calls me Fat, ugly, loser, stupid. THings I would never say to another living being yet how easily I say them to myself.

    I read the book and even bought copies for friends but this morning I was truly thinking about all of it and of the same stupid lifeling struggles of weight and self esteem and blah de blah blah. When a sound like a huge GONG going off hit me.

    It’s me! I’m the Mongol Horde. I”m The Whisperer. So Shut up! Stop it.
    Start listening to all the loved ones you have who tell you that you are beautiful, talented, creative, most of all loved.
    I had a little moment where I addressed The Whisperer face to face. She is a very dirty and scared and angry little girl. We had a chat. I told her I was not going to listen anymore but more than that I was going to teach her to whisper new things. We would travel this journey until both of us could believe all the lovely things.

    I am excited actually. You did this. You are changing womens lives. I am not shuffling off this mortal coil until I get this lesson learned correctly, THank you.

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