Nothing kept her safer or happier than her new practice of setting a strong but gentle boundary. – Queenisms™
You heard us right. You can be gentle and strong all at the same time. Boundaries means you are not a doormat. You are not sublimating your own needs – all the time – to serve others exclusively. You are willing and able to give yourself down time to refresh yourself physically and emotionally. It is not possible to feel safe and happy when all of your boundaries are being crushed under the wants and needs of others. But here’s the kicker. When people are crashing through your boundaries, it’s mostly your fault. You have not been clear. You have not held the line. You have not mended the fences. So when you feel the urge to rage against those who ask for too much, remember they’ve been conditioned to think there is no boundary with you. And before you tell us, you’ve told them and they’ve ignored you, let us say this. Once we’ve trained people to think we will never say no, it may take repeated and firm reminders from you that no mean no – followed by the action of moving on with what you’ve chosen to do, freeing the asker to grow by either doing something for themselves or finding someone new to help them. Hard? You betcha. Worthwhile and good everyone in the long run? Yes, indeed. Set boundaries gently. Hold them firmly.