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Queen of Your Own Life

Gifts to myself | The Battle for You

By Cindy Ratzlaff

I have to confess that since starting this blog series, with the goal of losing some weight to feel healthier, I’ve gained three pounds.

The minute I start trying to focus on my weight, a whole series of behaviors kick in. I suddenly feel ravenous all day long and the need to snack is overwhelming.  I have no energy and don’t feel like exercising.  My stress level feels through the roof and I crave sugar.  I have a very physical reaction to changing the way I eat. 

These are the relentless Mongol Horde changing the way they speak to me, whispering, pleading, and actively engaged in a battle with me for my health.

But I’m a warrior Queen.  I’ve met with my top generals and devised a new plan because failure is not an option.  Today, I’m doing something radically different.  I’m starting my day by saying “I forgive you for stumbling.”  I’m going to take the two deep breathes I talked about earlier this week and breathe out disappointment and breathe in the light and love of forgiveness.

This morning, just before I start work, I’m talking a short walk around the block.  Then I’m clipping some flowers from the snowball bush in my backyard and putting them in a vase on my desk; a love gift from me to me.  I’ve set alarms on my computer for two five minute periods today where I’ll get up from my desk, drink water and go outside briefly.

And, finally, at the end of this day, I’ll take two more breathes to breathe out any stress of the day and breathe in gratitude for the friends and the tools that support me while I battle the Mongol Horde for my health.

Sometimes we just need a few good friends to stand beside us and witness our journey; friends we can turn to and say “how am I doing?” By being here, and reading this blog, you are doing that for us.  And, we thank you so much.

We’d like to do the same for you.  Whatever your struggle, can you start today with a forgiveness statement and calming breathes?  Then tell us what you’ll do today to battle the Mongol Horde voices that are dead set on taking you down.  Together we can win these battles.

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One Response to “Gifts to myself | The Battle for You”

  1. I have already started. As you know my history, and I know you have been reading my blog from time to time my sweet fellow Queen ( such an honor)..what I have been doing is smiling. Despite stained, cracked, chipped painful to show and live with teeth I have been smiling. I am embracing who I am now, this very moment, instead of who I was five minutes before or will be in another five. It is not easy. But it has helped. I breathe, as you say, release the fear and smile…working up to doing so as often as I can in photos..baby steps.
    With my diet if I indulge even when I do not really mean to or want to as I want to and have to keep my weight low, if I give in to the carbs and sugar calling my name, I do not torture myself, I instead enjoy every bite and then get back on program…I spent too many years beating myself up over failures. Loosing weight, gaining it all back, hating certain body parts that show the wear and tear of the weight roller coaster, age and genetics,( not to mention three babies!) . I am learning to dress around the perceived flaws and hide them well enough that even I do not see them.

    I will not lie the mongol horde comes out, a lot, but I am getting better at fighting back and fighting for me. I know you will too!

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