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Queen of Your Own Life

Honor | The Battle for You

by Kathy Kinney

Honor.  Repeat after us,  “I will honor the little girl I was by being kind and loving to myself today.  It’s never too late to have a happy childhood no matter how old you are!”

When I was a little girl growing up in Wisconsin both of my parents smoked- in the car – with the windows closed.  As a child I swore to myself that I would never smoke, but I grew up and smoking was cool and everyone in college was doing it so I took it up.  I smoked for years and never even thought about quitting. 

Then one day, years into the horrid addiction, I thought about the little girl I had been.  That little girl was smart, brave and true.  It really hurt me to think that I was letting her down and that was the first step to my quitting smoking.  I haven’t smoked in decades and I’m eternally grateful for that.

I also grow more in touch with my “inner girl” everyday and it’s given me great joy.  I try to approach my daily life with the same sense of wonder and adventure I had as a child.   Bringing childlike qualities to life is a good thing and has absolutely nothing to do with being childish.  So sayeth the Queen.

Is there something you knew as a young girl that you’ve “forgotten?” Please share as we all continue the battle to find our true voices.

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9 Responses to “Honor | The Battle for You”

  1. Kim says:

    I *heart* this post! My mid-life mission is to help myself and other women connect with that sense of childlike playfulness and wonderment that society has seemingly stolen right out from under us, through all the rules of conformity and expectation we’re made to adhere to. *Sigh* Talk about sucking all of the fun & joy out of life! Geesh! It’s time to laugh and play and dream again! I declare 2012 the year of the *gigglesnorts!* YAY! 🙂
    Loved your book, too, BTW – just finished reading it a couple of weeks ago!
    Whimsical wishes & delightful dreams,
    Kim

  2. kristen kennedy says:

    It’s a coincidence that previous to seeing this today, I asked fb friends what made them happy as children. I remembered being the first to jump into a clear blue swimming pool on a sunny day and fishing at the end of a dock. I don’t do either of these things anymore and haven’t for a few years. You have to wonder why some of us let go of the things that enchanted us as children. Hmmm…this might require some action on my part…

  3. SANDRA says:

    it bothers me immensly that i don’t remember my childhood……the earliest i can remeber is comn into woman hood!!and that was terriable!!!!! about the only ones that i can remeber is being a in crib ?i think n seeing my mum cleaning like mopppen the floor…..listening to music,stayn in cabins in the summer pickn rasberries,loved those times.

  4. cindy says:

    Queen Sandra, If those early memories don’t come easily, don’t worry. You can still imagine a little girl named Sandra and feel protective of her, love her and care for her in your imagination. And, music, picking rasberries in the summer and staying in cabins sounds like a good, sweet memory to cherish.

  5. cindy says:

    Queen Kristen, action is indeed required! Those are vivid and fantastic memories.

  6. cindy says:

    I believe, Queen Kim, that gigglesnorts is now my new favorite word. And, having a mid-life mission is a glorious thing. Carry on!

  7. I wish I could go back and hold that little girl that I was. I grew up into a ‘min-adult” at age 5 & 1/2 after being molested. So the girl that was, was no more and my new childhood/adulthood began. A yearning for holding both of them, longing to bring them back together as one. The first little girl that I was loved to sing, dance, and hug people just because it filled her w/happiness. The second little girl that I was hugged people with more urgency and a lot more demand for love. She still danced and sang, but w/a message that said “Look at me!” “Love me!” “I’m special right?”

    So my grown up years are still full of struggle, so when I get down, I try to remember to do things just for the pure joy of the moment-like the first Julie did. I imagine taking the second Julie’s hand, leading her to where the joy is, to experience the moment and revel in it. I say to her “C’mon, let’s have some fun! It’s ok, I’ll be right here, I’m not going anywhere.”

    I may be the Queen w/a dented crown, but it’s because of my two little princess that led me to where I am now.

  8. cindy says:

    I love the image of second Julie holding first Julie’s hand and encouraging her. That’s what we can do for our younger, more innocent selves. What happened to you was a crime in so many ways and it’s so generous and brave of you to tell your story. Older Cindy and little Cindy both want to give her a hug and congratulate older Queen Julie on claiming victory simply by being Julie. Thank you.

  9. Thank you Cindy for your kind words and encouragement. I am currently in therapy for the healing that is to come, I’ve done some work, but there’s a lot more to do. I thank you for taking the time to read what I wrote. Say hi to Kathy for me.

    Love to both of you,
    Julie

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