Queen of Your Own Life by Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff

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Queen of Your Own Life

Ignoring Problems Makes Them Last Longer

Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff are the inspirational authors of Queenisns: 101 Jolts of Inspiration, http://bit.ly/QueenismsPB, and Queen of Your Own Life, both trademarks of their company, Two Belles LLC. All rights reserved so please share but don’t copy and paste as your own. Pinning is encouraged.

When we crawl under the covers and ignore all the problems in our lives, they just last longer. Can’t pay a bill? Ignore it and you’ll have to deal with debt collectors and fines. Say yes to an invitation and really don’t want to go? You’ll be consumed with the thought of it all week and it will drain the joy out of your daily life. Have a misunderstanding with a friend and clam up and let it fester? You’re risking a friendship that could bring you comfort and companionship all the days of your lives. Very few things get better by doing nothing. Yet we are so afraid to rock the boat. Well here’s the good news. We don’t have to rock the boat. We just have to shed sunshine on problems so the shroud of secrecy doesn’t allow them to get bigger undercover of darkness. It’s perfectly acceptable to say, “I’m feeling uncomfortable about something and I’d like to talk about it.” Then simply, clearly, and here’s the key – without judgment or emotion – state your feelings and ask the other person to do the same. Then say, “here’s what I was thinking we could do about this. Do you have any ideas or does that sound ok to you?”

Now in the case of bills or debt, just say “I do not want to be behind in these payments, but my financial circumstances have changed. If we can come to agreement about a smaller monthly payment over a longer period of time, I can make good on my debt.” Or in the case of a problem you don’t want to solve but simply want to be rid of, “I do not allow people to talk to me in that way. I’m going to end this conversation now. I wish you well but I’m not interested in continuing this.” We’ve even practiced a version of this with spouses and partners, “I have something I’d like to say and I’d very much like your full attention for this discussion. Do you have time now or should we schedule time for later? It’s important to me.”

Yes, crawling the covers and ignoring problems makes them last longer. Facing problems head on may be stressful, but the stress will be shorter lived and less complicated.Are there strategies you’ve used to take on problems headlong? This is such a massive stress creator in life that we’d like to share your thoughts with the group. We need all the support we can get, don’t we?

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5 Responses to “Ignoring Problems Makes Them Last Longer”

  1. Pam says:

    I LOVE you ladies and really look forward to your posts and emails!!!

  2. Rory says:

    Here goes – how do you do this if almost positive the answers you’re going to get are the absolute opposite of what you want to hear? It might put an end to something I thought I was beginning.

  3. Annie Duncan says:

    This is SO true. How much of our lives are lost by procrastinating about things that could and should be dealt with immediately and let go–I spent 65 years of my life learning that lesson and am trying to pass it on!

  4. cindy says:

    You are a wise Queen indeed, Queen Annie.

  5. cindy says:

    It might indeed be an end to a path you were taking Queen Rory. Or, it might be the opening of a path you didn’t even know existed. But asking and listening are the important tools to finding out.

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