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Queen of Your Own Life is an attitude, a way of life and a call to action for grown up women everywhere.

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Queen of Your Own Life

Making a Deal with Yourself | Royal Reminders

by Kathy Kinney

She made a deal with herself.  She wouldn’t allow anyone to say cruel and unkind things to her anymore and she would stop talking to herself that way as well. It was a win-win situation.”

~ Queenisms™

We’re waking up to the power that language has to make and keep us feeling truly awful about ourselves. And once we really understand how damaging those little “I’m so stupid” comments are, we must make every effort to banish them from our vocabulary. At first, we might need to stop when we hear that kind of self-talk and simply correct ourselves by saying “No, that’s not the truth. I simply do not yet know how to do this,” and eventually speaking well of ourselves will become second nature.

Let’s practice together by saying one very kind thing about ourselves today and create a win-win situation. The way we speak about ourselves tells others how to speak about us.

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6 Responses to “Making a Deal with Yourself | Royal Reminders”

  1. PattyAnne says:

    People used to be able to make me feel so bad about myself when I was younger and working my way up the ladder…..I had to work very hard because I felt so unworthy and others were able to convince me that what I was feeling was right because of their unnkind damaging comments…..I guess with maturity or maybe retirement I look back and realize I am so proud of myself for reaching the plateau I reached during my career. It is this same pride that gives me the courage to no longer accept comments from others meant to make me feel bad about myself. However……here it comes….how do I stop the comments from myself that make me feel unworthy or fat or ugly?????


  2. Becky Turner says:

    I have had that same thought PattyAnne. How do I stop the negative comments that I say to myself. I have found that when those statements start in my head, I say outloud, “no, I am not going to allow that to change what I am feeling”. I am not saying it works right away, but after a few times, the feeling and comments begin to dissipate more quickly.

  3. cindy says:

    Queen Becky, That’s what we do. If, for example, I drop a glass and break it, the first thing out of my mouth is usually “I’m so stupid or I’m so clumsy.” So I’ve made a practice of stopping in my tracks and saying, out loud, “That’s not true. I’m not stupid or clumsy, I simply dropped a glass and now I’m going to sweep it up and throw it away.”

    By stopping and changing the language, I’m creating the “practice of happiness” by changing the conversation. Bravo to you.

  4. Michele says:

    I try to tell myself the complete opposite of what I’m thinking or saying to myself that is negative. I complained about my thighs for years and they are inherited. Instead I have embraced them because they are strong and hold the rest of me up enabling me to move, walk and do all those other things I enjoying doing in my life!

  5. bizzy says:

    If I’m feeling unhappy with something I’ve done or said (or the way I look), I try to remind myself that dwelling on it will not make the situation any better. Instead I allow myself to be unhappy about it, then say “Ok, so next time I’ll try something different.” or “I don’t like the way my stomach looks now, but if I keep working hard & eating healthy, it might start to look better.”

  6. cindy says:

    We like the phrase “OK, so next time I’ll try something different.” It’s so clear to us that beating ourselves up keeps us stuck, so we applaud you for this wonderful option.

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