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Queen of Your Own Life

Regret | The Battle for You

by Kathy Kinney

What will be your regret?

I can’t stop thinking about a post someone placed on our site a month or so ago.  It was an article from a nurse who worked with the dying and she had made a list of the 5 most common regrets people have on their deathbeds.   It’s a thought provoking read.  

All week I’ve been asking my friends, “If you knew you were going to die tomorrow what would you regret?”  One friend told me that she would regret not reading more, another that she hadn’t spent more time traveling and yet another that she had wasted so much time waiting for the right man to come along and not enough time with herself.  It may seem a bit dark to talk about death but think about it, what better way to figure out how to live your life without getting left holding a bag full of regrets?

My gift to myself now is to walk through my fear one tiny step at a time and just show up.  I try to drag myself out of my comfort zone a little bit everyday because I don’t want to be on my deathbed and go, “Oh,  *&#@!” – about anything.

Now, I’m not pushing myself to achieve sainthood.  I spend plenty of healing downtime reading, watching TV and flinging myself around in a Zumba class.  I’m just saying I have a choice, we all have a choice, about how we live our lives.  Why not exercise it?

I have a friend who told me she hopes they put on her headstone, “She always remembered everyone’s birthday.”  I hope they put on mine, “She worked damn hard to live a full life and she succeeded brilliantly – Congratulations from all of us!”

It’s your choice – what do you want them to put on your headstone?

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5 Responses to “Regret | The Battle for You”

  1. Alyse says:

    I’m so glad that you found this thought-provoking. For two years I have referred to my stress-induced cancer as a gift and a wake-up call to better live in the moment. “This is the only now we get,” has become my motto. There are family stories about my grandfather’s great-grandmother, a no-nonsense herbalist who did some remarkable stuff. I can only hope to live up to (pass on to?) the same sentiment that is on her ancient marker. It says, “She lived well and did all she could.” Eight words describing a life of balance.

  2. meredith ryan says:

    Queen Kathy,

    at one point, i thought i wanted my epitaph to read “every good idea i ever had got me into to trouble.”

    i still want that, but with an addendum, “and every time it happened, i laughed uproariously about it!”

    i just started another one of those last night and it’s gonna be a doozie…especially the laughing part! i CANNOT wait.

  3. cindy says:

    We love that outlook Queen Meredith. {hugs}

  4. cindy says:

    Now THAT’s inspiring, Queen Alyse, and so are you.

  5. mary says:

    Dear Queens,
    I think as of this moment my biggest regret is not having felt safe enough to really be who I am. Instead I think I’ve been a heck of a people pleaser. But since reading your book I’m becoming more and more me. I am also learning to tell that negative whisperer inside me to SHUT UP!

    I want them to say on my tombstone “She loved and loved well” meaning not just my husband and kids but everyone I was blessed to have in my life. Because if I did my part right I will have gotten plenty of love. To me that is proof of how much you loved. THat is a life well lived. That is fit for a Queen. To have loved and loved well. Including myself, finally.

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