Queen of Your Own Life by Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff

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Queen of Your Own Life

Renew | Claiming the Crown to Harvest Happiness

by Cindy Ratzlaff

Wow, I cannot tell you what a powerful week this has been for me.  Kathy and I spent the first part of the week in Paris visiting with friends and the last two days renewing our crowning ceremony, setting our priorities for the coming year and for me, humbly realizing that although we say it all the time, I need to remember that happiness is a daily practice and that it is very easy to get sidetracked, find yourself lost on the path and wonder where you’ll get the strength to continue on.

Because I think it’s important that we all share our journey, here’s what happened for me.  In talking with Kathy about what I want to leave behind and what I want to bring forward in the coming year, we were both able to see that fear, my old enemy, is still holding me back. And, I want to leave fear behind, right now, today.  I wrote fear on a bistro napkin, crumbled it up and left it there.  Now I’ll know that my fear is in Paris and I can picture myself walking away.  What am I afraid of? I’m afraid of not having enough money, love, fulfillment, friends, and career satisfaction.  Sound familiar? It’s not so much that any of us will be able to leave fear behind totally, but it is the way that fear can make us act, unless we’re aware that it is lurking in the shadows. So my daily habit will now be to affirm for myself that I am loved, cared for, happy, safe and creative. I won’t focus any energy on those things that make my breath short and my chest tight. I’ll simply state for myself “I am loved, cared for, happy, safe and creative.”

I am committing to renewing the practice of affirming the good in my life, above all else and trusting that all will be well when I put one foot in front of the other, with love.

So sayeth the renewed Queen.

I know I’m not the only one. What holds you back that you can banish in the coming year? What daily practice or affirmation can you create for yourself to remind you that you’re a strong, capable, loving woman who deserves to feel vibrant happiness every day?  Let’s share our ideas here to help one another up this mountain of life.

I appreciate your company, more than you can know.

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6 Responses to “Renew | Claiming the Crown to Harvest Happiness”

  1. Lora says:

    Thank you for this column! I needed it after last week when a suffocating fear of the economy, possible job loss, not having enough money, etc., really overwhelmed me. I can’t control any of those things, but I can control how I react. So I would also like to leave behind fear (does that mean I can go to Paris, too?) and panic.

  2. Sharon says:

    Fear is a toxic poison in my life! I’m afraid far too often that I will be homeless (fighting my mortgage company), lose my job (horrible economy), and have spent the last 20 years on my own…(fear of another broken heart). I’m writing down your affirmation & will do my damest to get back to a place of positive thoughts!

  3. cindy says:

    We sure do understand fear, Sharon. And, we suspect that same kind of toxic fear creeps into every woman’s life at one point or another. It’s a battle worth fighting. Happiness takes practice and as Kathy likes to say, fear is “False Evidence Appearing Real.” Yes financial and relationship stress are real but our reaction to them is a choice. We’re sending good thoughts your way and enormous thanks for sharing your journey here. We’re all on the journey together, supporting one another emotionally as we climb.

  4. cindy says:

    It’s been that kind of year for me too, Lora. Every woman’s circumstances are different but our fear are similar. I worried to the point of illness this year that I wouldn’t have enough. Then I decided I couldn’t go on that way and I started to focus on what I did have and what I could do. And, things began to change. I put a little money away for a long time and I was able to go to Paris. That doesn’t mean that I think this strategy will work for everyone but what I’m saying is that the worry didn’t fix anything. In fact it debilitated me. And, since deciding to banish fear, I still have to actively choose between fear and trust, every single day. Sometimes hour by hour. If there was a 12 Step group for this it would be F.A. for Fear Anonymous. We can be that for one another in the Queen community; a reminder to choose trust instead of fear.

  5. Bonnie says:

    I love the way you two ladies talk! In spite of having a successful career, a 30 year loving marriage partnership, no immediate money worries, I have fought FEAR all my life. I have followed the thoughs from the book “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway” and have found it helpful over the decades to push me out of my comfort zone. My fear now is the fear of letting go. In my 5th decade, I still struggle with letting go of activities, thoughts, habits, persona’s etc. that no longer serve me. Even as a health coach, working with hundreds of others, I find that the fear of letting go is very common. I understand that it all goes back to our inherent nature to have an “immunity to change” yet even with my own awareness and research knowledge on this emotion, it is is still the “driver” of all emotions for me. Thank you for sharing your idea of writing it down on the napkin and leaving it behind in Paris. A simple gesture whose symbolism is so powerful that I am sure to remember it for a long time. With appreciation for your sharing.

  6. cindy says:

    We’re grateful you shared your story with us Queen Bonnie. We strongly believe that if you’re experiencing an emotion, a challenge or a life change, so are millions of other women and your point of view, thoughts and wisdom on this help others. So thank you!

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