When she first began speaking up for herself, not everyone was able to hear her. So she decided to speak very, very clearly. – Queenisms™
If we’ve been wishy washy about our boundaries in the past, it’s quite a shock to others when we start to speak up for ourselves. Sometimes it’s a welcome change and sometimes it’s not. Whenever we change, we disrupt the dynamic between us and everyone else. For example, we might come to believe we’re drinking too much and decide to stop. That might make our drinking friends feel uncomfortable and even judged, yet it’s not about them, it’s about us. We don’t keep drinking because of their discomfort. We speak up, tell them this is important to us and invite them to support us in our health decision. Whether they do so or not is entirely out of our control. It’s the same for every big and small change. Want your neighbor to call before over but you’ve never said so before and you’ve come to resent their visits? That’s your fault, not theirs. You must become clear in your boundaries as a service to others and to strengthen your friendships. Make sense? Let’s discuss.