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Queen of Your Own Life

Staying Afloat | The Battle for You

by Kathy Kinney

Today I was thinking about what tough times we are living in economically.  I know women who have been out of work for so long they are hard pressed to even scrape together two dollars to take a Zumba class.  I thought about how hard it is to find any joy and beauty in life when you’re just barely keeping afloat.

Then I remembered one of the true hard core facts of life – everything has a beginning, a middle and an end.  Everything.  It doesn’t matter whether it’s grief, happiness, fear or joy.  They all will have an end.  The hard part is wondering if you’re still near the beginning, around the middle or sliding on home to the end.

It brings to mind one of my favorite inspirational sayings, “God never closes one door without opening another.”  What you might not know is there is another part to the saying.  The last line goes, “But it’s a real bitch waiting in the hall.”  And that ladies, seems to me to be the point.  Most of life is about waiting in the hall so if you can find a way to do it with grace, joy and humor you will really be accomplishing something.

I’m going to mix my metaphors here but what do you say we all stay afloat together while we’re waiting in the hall?  Let’s share with each other things that give us joy each day or things that make us smile and laugh.  I’m offering up this photo of a water lily I took while on vacation a couple of years ago.  I love how it floats with such beauty and ease.  It makes me feel calm and happy.  So, for today, while waiting in the hall, I will notice the beauty around me, enjoy it and pass it on. – so sayeth the Queen.

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7 Responses to “Staying Afloat | The Battle for You”

  1. Amy G. says:

    I really am having problems staying afloat emotionally & physically but last night I saw a video that cracked me up. It’s a baby girl with the most hysterical laugh I’ve ever heard. Here is the link to it: I hope it brings you some joy in your day : )

  2. I have not only been waiting, but living in the hall ! Two years ago we had our life turn upside down. We lost our income.Then our home, selling all we could to put a roof over our head. Borrowing money from friends and family to keep that roof over our head and getting food from a local church to help supplement what we could spend on groceries.During this point my health, which had been effected by fibromyalgia, thyroid issues, anemia, and perimenopause took a huge dip once again and this past fall I was told my teeth were not worth saving, soon would fall out. We have no insurance, no money to afford that and co-payments to change what I am facing. I know the risk to my health, and as my husband is in bad shape as well, I know the risk of loosing him from a heart attack from bad health…all this weighed on me, made me sink to an all time low. I had forgotten all that I had read in your wonderful book, and life was very dark….the lights were turned off in that proverbial hall. I was busy making sure the light was not turned back on as well , allowing myself to feel sorry for myself .Every time a friend posted what they were doing or buying or even enjoyed eating ( since often I was on soft foods like oatmeal) I allowed the hall to get darker.
    Then something clicked. I decided to fight for me. I decided to live each day individually since I have not been successful at finding an Angel on Earth to grant me a new smile, I had to learn to live to the fullest despite the hardships of health and lack of money. I started letting people in via my blog, I started making new support systems through twitter…where it did not matter if my body hurt, if my teeth hurt or if I was living in my Pjs that day because I could not afford to leave the four walls. The hall became a bit more lit up…dimly at first, and then brighter and brighter. I now find myself getting out and enjoying life, even if I have to do something that does not cost a cent, I find myself wanting to care for my looks even when I feel my worst and the most amazing thing I now smile in photos and do not photo shop them, being grateful the joy and beauty shine through despite how my teeth look. As all this was happening it became easier to spread love, joy and support to others…and the more I was able to return what had been given to me when I needed it most that hallway became ablaze. I could see my beauty and I could see the beauty of life around me. I could feel joy again….and had an acceptance like never before.
    I can now see a door at the other end of the hallway, not close to being out of it by any means, but now being here is not so bad as I wait for that door to open, and when it does there will not be anything holding me back! And now despite all odds and no hints of hope for my biggest dreams coming true, I just know God will make it happen, he will open those doors…till he does, I am going to make the best of the life I am living now so the light stays on.

  3. Kathy says:

    Queen Stephanie,

    Thank you for giving us a peek into your hallway. We admire the way you’re living your life.

  4. That means so very much Queen Kathy! I am humbled you think so .

  5. meredith ryan says:

    Queen Stephanie,

    I cannot begin to understand what you have gone through, but I can tell you a small thing that has helped me in 2011.

    Last Christmas, I received a blank journal from a fellow choir member. I’d gotten out of the habit of journaling in recent years, but decided to put this one to good use. So for New Year’s, I resolved to write down one positive thing, no matter how mundane, for each day.

    It’s now the middle of May and I’m still at it! Granted there were some days when I had to struggle mightily to come up with something (Thankfully, there are ALWAYS Matthew Perry, Duran Duran and Jeff Davis :::giggle, snort::: to write about failing all else!), but I did.

    And while my motives weren’t pure at the beginning of this venture, I have to admit that things are getting better. I have let go of a lot of anger, have set up actual goals that I am working toward achieving and while I still haven’t had a full-time job since 2003, nor health insurance since 2004 plus I have Type-1 diabetes (since 1978), there is hope for me.

    Perhaps this will give hope to you, Queen Stephanie…

  6. cindy says:

    Queen Ruby, I’m so honored that you shared your story here. You’re windy mountain moment, where you decided to fight for you, will inspire and help others as they struggle with issues big and small. Your burden has been large but your will to survive and grow is larger and I am tipping my invisible tiara to you. Thank you!

  7. cindy says:

    Laughter is so powerful, isn’t it Queen Amy. It lifts us out of ourselves almost like a meditation. Thanks for the link!

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