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Queen of Your Own Life

Surrender | The Battle for You

by Cindy Ratzlaff

I’ve had a humbling week and it’s only Tuesday.  Some of the habits I’m trying to change are so entrenched that deleting them from my routines gives me almost as much stress as the original challenge of losing weight. I feel like my inner toddler is throwing a temper tantrum–a big one.  And, I need to give myself a time out.

We’ve fallen into such habits in our family that food and drink have become a part of our routine and a part of how we relate to one another.  So when I decide to change the way I eat and drink, it seems to threaten my friends and family in ways I hadn’t anticipated.

Here are some of the ways I’m trying to take care of myself and still be in the world as a social human being.

  1. Instead of meeting for drinks, I’ll be iviting friends to meet to take a walk.
  2. Instead of dinner out at a chain restaurant where many of my trigger foods are plentiful, I’ll be inviting people to my home for meals I can prepare and control.
  3. Instead of gifts of food, I’ll be giving gifts of flowers.
  4. Instead of wine before dinner, I’ll be making tea.

I want to think of this list as gifts I give to me, not things I take away from me.  The gift I’m hoping for is better health and I don’t want to give up anything to get it.  When I get into a place of “lack” I know I’m setting myself up to fail.  So for today, I’m able to think of these changes as victories and gifts.

If you have some strategies you use to replace one habit with another, I’d love to hear about.  And, as always, wherever your journey is leading you and whatever changes you’re trying to make, please let me know so I can support you.

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7 Responses to “Surrender | The Battle for You”

  1. Alyse says:

    It would be good to know how others in your life react to the changes you are challenging them to make along with you because that is what you are suggesting here. I hope that this works out.

  2. Jeanne Mitchell says:

    I have found the “trick” of using salad plates is something those who love me have had a problem with in the beginning, but now understand. I have more than enough food to satisfy me…and I am eating each bite much more conciously and slowly. I also have changed the phrase “don’t let me forget” to ” please help me remember”…I LOVE that one.

  3. Diane says:

    Change is hard, especially for the people that are closest to us. Mocktails can be fun also. I enjoy getting my wine glasses out and adding a lemon to water or try orange juice and ginger ale to make a spritzer. My favorite punch, when entertaining a group, is a tub of raspberry crystal light and a 2 liter of lemon lime soda. Float fresh raspberries or make an ice ring-beautiful and delicious and most importantly you know you are sending your guests home safely-no designated driver needed!

  4. cindy says:

    Great suggestions Queen Jeanne. Isn’t it powerful how a simple change in language can help us shift our thinking?

  5. cindy says:

    Queen Alyse, very astute observation. Sometimes the people around us do not want us to change, or the changes we are making feel threatening to them. Sometimes when we change something to give ourselves better health, it feels like an accusation or a spotlight on the behavior of others around us. I’m trying to say things like “for me, I need to . . .” “I’m struggling with a health issue, so for today. . .” and somehow that seems to feel less threatening to others. We’ll see. I’ll keep you posted.

  6. cindy says:

    What a great idea Queen Diane. Thank you. I really want to think about this as giving myself a gift instead of taking something away. I’ve always love the way spas put lemons and limes or fruit in their water. I can do that and keep a big pitcher in my fridge. So easy. Why didn’t I think of that? Thank you, thank you also for the Mocktails idea. Oh, I’m all over this now.

  7. One thing I did both to save money and to get exercise to help with my weight issues, mood and dislike to be much more than a couch potato is I gave up driving if I can walk. I even bought a cart if I need to do some shopping. I am lucky I live in an area I can do this, but have manged without changing diet or giving up that glass of wine at the end of the day to loose 10 pounds, sometimes it dips to a 12 pound loss….depends if I falter and eat a doughnut…my guilty pleasure that after I feel guilty for.
    I am now going to work on giving up coffee, switching to tea to start, and giving up as many sweets, not all, but need to cut drastically back for health issues, so going to get Italian soda makings for when that hits and I already now munch on chocolate cheerios when I got to have “it” …so little by little I am making strides in the battle for me!

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