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Queen of Your Own Life

Valuable | Naming and Claiming Our Royalty

by Kathy Kinney

Valuable.  Look in the mirror and repeat after us, “My time is valuable and I’m not going to waste it having hurt feelings.  No one can hurt my feelings unless I let them, and I’m not going to let them.”

I was thinking about how much easier life is if you don’t take it personally.  As a teenager, I think my low self esteem helped me to be easily offended in many situations where no offense was actually meant.  I’m eternally grateful that as I’ve matured I’m more likely to shrug my shoulders in a “what ever” kind of way than to take someone’s actions personally.  I find that most people are not actually trying to be rude or mean to ME, ME, ME.  Instead, just like me, they are simply trying to take care of themselves and hoping that people like them.  We are all more alike than we are different.

My time is so valuable to me that I don’t want to waste it wallowing in hurt feelings from misinterpreting other peoples behavior.  Often, when my feelings start to get hurt I think of Glinda the Good Witch in the Wizard of Oz waving her wand and saying, “You have no power here! Begone…” It always makes me laugh.

There are so many wonderful and fun things to do in life.  I don’t need to waste my time letting my feelings be bruised because I still have the shaky low self-esteem of a 13 year-old.  I am the Queen of My Own Life and I am learning how to take of myself so I may live the life I deserve.  Life doesn’t have to be so hard.

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2 Responses to “Valuable | Naming and Claiming Our Royalty”

  1. Tamme Benepe-Nelson says:


    I am so glad I read your article – Naming & Claiming Our Royalty. I suffer from low self-esteem issues. Not as much as when I was younger (I am 52 now) because I realize everyone has issues, which is why they can be snarky and self-centered some times (including me). My problem, sometimes people talk right over me or don’t listen to what I have to say — co-workers, some friends and even my family and husband. I know that I am loved because they show it, but it really offends me when they talk over me, or walk away when I am still saying something. On occasion, when I have said something to my husband he’ll get defensive; other times he thinks about and apologizes. But, invariably will do it again. But after having a few conversations with God and now, reading your article…I am no longer going to take it so personally. Thank you.

  2. Kathy says:

    Queen Tamme,
    I have had the same problem with the long term man in my life. After many hurt feelings (on my part) we finally sat down and talked it out. I finally understand that not only does a man truly listen differently but he also listens for different reasons. He is trained to listen for and solve my problems. If I don’t have one he stops listening because his job is done. He loves me but that’s the man brain at work. Now that I don’t take it personally our relationship is so much better and I am happier. Men really are from Mars!


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