Queen of Your Own Life by Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff

Queen of Your Own Life is an attitude, a way of life and a call to action for grown up women everywhere.

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Queen of Your Own Life

Words Matter | Choosing positive language to describe yourself

Let’s pretend that a reality television crew followed you for 24 hours, recording everything you said, wrote and thought about yourself.  Then they transcribed all of your self-descriptive utterances into writing and gave the list back to you to read.  What kind of picture would emerge about you?

If you’re like most of us, you might be surprised to find that several times a day you engaged in negative and self-deprecating chatter.  Sometimes we do this so that others won’t think we’re vain or bragging.  Other times we offer an off-hand comment like “Oh, I’m such an idiot,” to signal that we really want to ask for help.  Still other times we really do mean what we say as in “I’m such a fat pig” and the effects are brutal.

Consider that the average day could consist of many, many of these negative message moments and we come to realize that words matter.  How can we bravely try new things, or boldly seek to take small self-improvement steps if our own inner voices are telling us we’ve already failed.

When we speak about ourselves in a negative way, we’re actually giving the rest of the world permission to do so, as well.  We know we wouldn’t want to have someone else call us stupid, so why do we say that about ourselves?

Let’s make a pact to change the way we speak about ourselves.  Any time you catch yourself casting dispersions on your own beauty, strength, intelligence or abilities, stop.  Think of new, positive words to replace the old ones.  Here’s an example:

OLD WORDS:  “Why can’t I figure out how to upload these photos to the online printer? I’m such a chowderhead!”

NEW WORDS: “Look at me, learning a new skill. Woot!  My goodness I’m adventurous.  Even though this is hard to learn, once I do learn it—and I will—there’s no stopping me.”

We’d love to hear about your word replacements.  We think you’re incredible and we want to hear you say it too!

We’d like to say a few kind words about Amy Barickman and her two incredibly creative sites, The Vintage Workshop and Indygo Junction.   She gave us permission to use this great photo of a girl at her chalkboard which comes from her delightful collection of downloadable images.

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13 Responses to “Words Matter | Choosing positive language to describe yourself”

  1. I just had the perfect confluence of events for this post. I started a comment then managed to close the page, lose what I wrote and have to sit here while it loaded, loaded, loaded. So I’m a ditz and how can I expect to grow my new biz thru social media if I can’t even comment on a blog without messing up. New Version:
    First, everyone makes mistakes and this is a way for me how to learn what not to do next time. Second, I have made huge advances in my knowledge of social media and because of that I found this blog, commented and knew how to tweet it to my growing Twitter community. (I think I just sat up straighter.)

  2. admin says:

    Queen Cherry, We loved watching you walk through that thought pattern and applauded you as you came out the other side, sitting taller.

  3. ZAREMA says:

    Thanks the author for article. The main thing do not forget about users, and continue in the same spirit.

  4. Heather says:

    First off LOVE this site and the book! Everytime I look in the mirror I see a body that I’ve accused of betrayal since I was 11 years old…instead I am reversing and am gonna practice saying “look how beautiful you represent femininity…nobody else looks like you…thank goodness you’re such a rare flower! The queen has said it’s so!!!!

  5. admin says:

    Hail Queen Heather! So many of us have battled that damn magic mirror that tells us we’re not “the fairest in the land.” We think the mirror is mistaken and now you do too! Bravo.

  6. Great post! I really love your nice blog! I also commented at your other post that I thought was awesome.

  7. choonolve says:

    Just want to say what a great blog you got here!
    I’ve been around for quite a lot of time, but finally decided to show my appreciation of your work!

    Thumbs up, and keep it going!

    Christian,Diet Guide!

  8. choonolve says:

    Just want to say what a great blog you got here!
    I’ve been around for quite a lot of time, but finally decided to show my appreciation of your work!

    Thumbs up, and keep it going!

    Christian,Earn Free Vouchers / Cash

  9. Nice article. Thank you for this info

  10. I think this is a real great blog.Really thank you! Fantastic.

  11. Sue L says:

    After a very negative day yesterday, I was so thrilled to find this website, thanks to The Graphics Fairy’s site – http://graphicsfairy.blogspot.com/. Now I’m going to put your book on my Christmas Wish List, read the blog archives and start off on new feet before the New Year arrives. Thank you for the inspiration, Queens Kathy and Cindy. I have been looking for something like this for many years.

  12. cindy says:

    Queen Sue, we’re so sorry that you had a negative day but we’re so grateful that the Graphics Fairy (who we LOVE) brought you to our site. I think you’ll find women here, with a lot in common, all just trying to do the best we can. 🙂 Welcome Sue.

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