Queen of Your Own Life by Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff

Queen of Your Own Life is an attitude, a way of life and a call to action for grown up women everywhere.

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Happy Mother’s Day!

Sunday, May 14th, 2017

To anyone who's ever been a mother, had a mother or has stepped up and mothered themselves, Happy Mother's Day! - Queenisms™

To anyone who’s ever been a mother, had a mother or has stepped up and mothered themselves, Happy Mother’s Day! – Queenisms™

There isn’t a woman alive who doesn’t fall into the category of someone who has a mother, been a mother or found the courage to mother herself.  We all deserve to look in the mirror, make eye contact with ourselves and say loud and clear, “Happy Mother’s Day!”

Finally Ready to Love Yourself

Friday, May 12th, 2017

She took a good long look at herself, and was finally ready to love what she saw. - Queenisms™

She took a good long look at herself, and was finally ready to love what she saw. – Queenisms™

Whenever we post a Queenism about learning to love ourselves it doesn’t get the response that we expect.  There are still so many of us tormenting ourselves with stinking thinking like – I’m not pretty enough, good enough, smart enough to be worthy of love.  The word that comes to mind is balderdash!  It’s time to stop telling ourselves these silly exaggerated stories of our lack of worthiness and accept the truth the we are all valuable, unique and worthy of all good things the universe has to offer, especially love.

You’ve Come So Far

Tuesday, October 11th, 2016

She had come so far and was really proud of how she had survived. She was thrilled by who she had become and the adventure she was on. She thought, "Ain't life grand?" – Queenisms™

She had come so far and was really proud of how she had survived. She was thrilled by who she had become and the adventure she was on. She thought, “Ain’t life grand?” – Queenisms

We decided that we never give ourselves enough credit for all of the things we’ve survived in our lives and that we did it all with our sense of humor intact!  Death, divorce, illness and being fired are a few of the top painful events in life but don’t forget the difficulty of moving, loss of a friendship and letting go of a dream.  All of the experiences that we have survived have made us the truly awesome women that we are right now.  Remember if there was no grit in the oyster there would be no beautiful pearl!

Mental Pat on the Back – Queenisms

Tuesday, October 8th, 2013

MENTAL PAT ON THE BACKIt’s positive language week here on Queen of Your Own Life. We might be harping on this idea but we feel it so important, we’re like a dog with a bone on this one. Waiting for validation from the outside world to tell us we’re good enough, smart enough, creative enough or whatever enough we need to hear is not necessary and sadly, can steal our happiness. Why postpone joy while we “wait in the hall” for someone to notice what a brilliant, beautiful, bright light we possess? We can flip that switch and shine all by ourselves.

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pat on the back for surviving, thriving and getting to this point in your life and then share the gift of your perfect presence with the world – and with yourself.

Negative Self Talk Be Gone – Queenisms

Monday, October 7th, 2013

Speak to herself in a positive wayIf we had to name just one change people could make that would have instant positive impact in their lives it would be to banish all negative self-talk from our vocabularies. The undermining messages we

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give ourselves, big and small, each day are not just thoughts. They’re weapons. How do we stop the madness? We did it by stopping, each time we catch ourselves, and insisting on rephrasing the statement. So “I’m so clumsy,” became “I will slow down and be more careful.” “I’m so stupid,” became “That’s something I did not know yet. I’m delighted to learn new things.” What can you rephrase to speak in more supportive language to yourself?

Time Out – Queenisms

Sunday, October 6th, 2013

Banish GuiltYou might notice we’ve got a little theme going this week on Queen of Your Own Life. We’re talking about creating a little me time and asking you to carve out moments in your day that are just for you. Most of us have spent a lifetime in service to others; our partners, our children, our parents, our colleagues, our church friends or whatever circle we’ve created for ourselves. That’s a good thing. But not to the exclusion of time for ourselves. Just as water seeks it’s own level, so does energy (highly unscientific personal opinion). We urge you to not fill every moment with doing but to have the courage to allow some moments to be “empty.” In the emptiness, don’t make any attempt to fill it with lists, thoughts, feelings or any agenda. Just let yourself be. This is a powerful 10 minute exercise and when repeated can be a way to recharge your personal battery. Try it. And we’d love to hear about your reactions.

Deer in the Headlights – Queenisms

Saturday, October 5th, 2013

Deer in the headlights We’ve all had that feeling of life

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sensation. We make it a practice to give ourselves 10 minutes of calm every day. Some might call it meditation. We simply call it “Me Time.”

You Were A Wonderful Child – Queenisms

Friday, October 4th, 2013

wonderful childYou were a wonderful child, period. Children are perfect and it’s only time and experiences that change our perception of ourselves. There’s a wonderful exercise you can do right now, that will take very little time but can connect you

to the child you were and help you see yourself in a different light. Write yourself a note to younger you from you today. Tell that pure, innocent child that things will turn out all right. Help her see which of her innate traits will serve her well throughout her life. Encourage her. Help her see that her life will matter. Trust us. You won’t regret the time spent on a letter to you.

Permission Granted – Queenisms

Thursday, October 3rd, 2013

PermissionWhat would happen if you gave yourself permission? Permission

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to do what you might ask. What would happen if you gave yourself permission to ask yourself a question and sit quietly until you hear the answer from within. Ask yourself “what can I do to support you?” Ask yourself “what would make you happy?” Ask yourself “if not now, when?” Then wait. You already have the answers. You just needed to ask.

Judgment free – Queenisms

Wednesday, October 2nd, 2013

Tiired of being judgedThe space that other people’s opinions hold in our own heads crowds out the freedom to be ourselves. When we worry about pleasing everyone, we leave ourselves on the side of the road. What would you say or do if no one would judge you?