Queen of Your Own Life by Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff

Queen of Your Own Life is an attitude, a way of life and a call to action for grown up women everywhere.

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Queen of Your Own Life

Posts Tagged ‘fear’

Letting Go Of Fear

Saturday, November 4th, 2017

Once she knew what fear really was, she was able to make the choice to let it go. False, Evidence, Appearing, Real. Such a smart woman! - Queenisms™ Day 6 of Vintage Photo Booth Week

Once she knew what fear really was, she was able to make the choice to let it go. False, Evidence, Appearing, Real. Such a smart woman! – Queenisms™

Day 6 of Vintage Photo Booth Week

We make up stories about things to be afraid of and waste lots of our valuable time.  Fear is very often just -False Evidence Appearing Real so why not make the choice to let your anxiety go and enjoy a life well earned.  Of course it takes practice but aren’t you worth it?

Celebrate Who You Are

Friday, February 24th, 2017

She decided to stop trying to be who she wasn't and just celebrate who she was. - Queenisms™

She decided to stop trying to be who she wasn’t and just celebrate who she was. – Queenisms™

Have you ever seen an ad on TV or in a magazine and thought if you used the product you would look or feel better or different?  Media advertisers are good – that’s why they pay them the big bucks to make us think we need the things they are selling.  The news bulletin here is there is no normal – not in beauty, body size or thoughts – and even if there was why would you want to be like everyone else.  It’s time for us to begin celebrating who we really are!

All More Alike Than Different

Friday, November 11th, 2016

She could feel alone even in a crowd. One day she looked around and realized the truth - everyone felt the same way. We are all more alike than different. - Queenisms™

She could feel alone even in a crowd. One day she looked around and realized the truth – everyone felt the same way. We are all more alike than different. – Queenisms™

For us, there used to be a small negative voice that told us that we were different, unlikeable and that we didn’t fit in.  What a relief when we realized that it was a bunch of hogwash.  Everybody has had those feelings and they are untrue.  We made a choice to not beat ourselves up with these feelings anymore.  We also made the choice to be active in trying to find new friends and to just say hello to someone who is standing off to the side.  We try to be part of the solution don’t you?

True Definition Of Fear

Monday, September 26th, 2016

 She needed to remind herself of the true definition of fear – False Evidence Appearing Real. - Queenisms™

She needed to remind herself of the true definition of fear – False Evidence Appearing Real. – Queenisms

We both have very creative imaginations and often, in the past, have used them to torture ourselves.  We could take something very small like a splinter in a finger and with our imaginations turn it into a disfiguring and potentially fatal wound!  We decided to stop using our creativity to make our lives miserable and chose instead to use it to brighten our day.  We try to take time to admire the world around us like we did when we were kids.  In the end isn’t it more fun to spot a cloud shaped like a giraffe running across a field then to spend your time thinking up a lethal reason for every ache and pain you have?

Gathering The Courage to Change

Sunday, September 11th, 2016

When the pain of staying the same became greater than the fear of change, she put on her big girl bloomers, took a deep breath and forged ahead on her next big adventure.   - Queenisms™

When the pain of staying the same became greater than the fear of change, she put on her big girl bloomers, took a deep breath and forged ahead on her next big adventure.   – Queenisms™

You know it, we know it – sometimes making a change can be very scary!  We’ve been in that situation where the pain of staying the same was so intense that the only option was change or lose all hope. We have come to rely on  gentle thoughts as our guiding principal, both toward ourselves and others.  Change is going to happen whether we want it to or not.  So, using our experience as a learning tool, we rely on this affirmation, “Everything is going to be all right no matter what because I have the courage to live the heck out of this adventure.”  Let us know how you handle change?

Courage and Fear

Monday, March 7th, 2016

Even though she was afraid almost every day of her life, she kept her head up and her feet moving forward. That was courage. - Queenisms™

Even though she was afraid almost every day of her life, she kept her head up and her feet moving forward. That was courage. – Queenisms™

It is sad but true that things happen in the world that can leave us afraid, hurt, sad, and in some cases, truly brought to our knees. Every person has a different timetable for reaching out, getting up and moving forward. And, every journey, no matter what it looks like to others, is a portrait in courage. When we wake up filled with fear, but get out of bed, that’s courage. When we do the hard thing even though we’re afraid, that’s courage. When we reach out to love again, even when we’ve been hurt, that’s courage. So today, let’s hug ourselves, notice someone else who’s displaying courage and celebrate the lives that look “normal” to the outside world but are truly courageous.

Tell Fear to Take a Leap

Thursday, March 3rd, 2016

She had an impish desire to tell fear to take a flying leap off a tall bridge. So she did. - Queenisms™

She had an impish desire to tell fear to take a flying leap off a tall bridge. So she did. – Queenisms™

You know what they say about fear? It’s false evidence appearing real. We fear failure and we fear success. We fear change and we fear staying the same. Wouldn’t it be wonderful just to tell those fearful voices in our heads to take a flying leap off a tall bridge? Let’s replace that fearful feeling we all have in just a couple of steps (repeated as often as necessary).

First, name the fear. The unknown is far more terrifying than a known fear. Then ask yourself “what’s the worst that can happen if this fear comes true?” Make a list. Write it down. Then ask yourself “what’s possible if I face this fear and act?” Allow yourself to imagine yourself having done this thing you fear. How do you feel? What is your life like? Write it down. Now make your choice based on careful, considered contemplation rather than irrational, unfounded fear. Then say, aloud, “Fear, take a flying leap.”

By the way, this takes practice. We still use this line of questioning to help us whenever fear comes to visit, and it works for us.

The Pity Party is Over

Wednesday, February 10th, 2016

She had been feeling sorry for herself for a while. So she decided to take out the trash because the pity party was over. - Queenisms™

She had been feeling sorry for herself for a while. So she decided to take out the trash because the pity party was over. – Queenisms™

It feels good to make the choice is take out the trash. Removing those people, places and things from our lives that are holding us back, suppressing our joy or simply not supporting our natural state of happiness, can be liberating. It can also be frightening. Change is a step forward into the unknown and so many of us find we stay in a not-so-desirable situation longer than is ideal, simply because change is frightening. We’d like to say “have courage.” Change is just another path with new opportunities, new challenges and new rewards. The real pity would be to avoid change because of fear.

Your Time to Shine

Thursday, January 21st, 2016

She used to be afraid to draw attention to herself but she decided it was high time to take the basket off of her head and just shine. - Queenisms™

She used to be afraid to draw attention to herself but she decided it was high time to take the basket off of her head and just shine. – Queenisms™

Let’s take the metaphorical basket off of our heads and let the world see the beautiful, creative, talented, interesting, kind, generous, funny women we truly are. It’s an act of generosity to let yourself shine.

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Pipe Down

Sunday, November 8th, 2015

Oh pipe down," she thought whenever those nagging internal voices said "you can't." And eventually they did. - Queenisms™
“Oh pipe down,”
she thought whenever those nagging internal voices said “you can’t.” And eventually they did. – Queenisms™

We’d like to tell you those internal critics will pipe down forever, but we’d be lying. Here’s the thing though. You can put them in their place and eventually their chatter is only background noise. And, if they do come to the surface in an aggressive way, you’ll have the skills and the experience to banish them again. We have to banish our own negative voices often. Sometimes they sneak up and surprise us but we’ve learned to recognize them as liars. How about you? Are you practicing the art of banishing your inner critic?