Queen of Your Own Life by Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff

Queen of Your Own Life is an attitude, a way of life and a call to action for grown up women everywhere.

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Queen of Your Own Life

Posts Tagged ‘gratitude’

Amplify the Joy

Sunday, March 6th, 2016

She would not allow herself to be defined by the struggles in her life. She chose, instead, to amplify those things that gave her great joy — and that list was very long. - Queenisms™

She would not allow herself to be defined by the struggles in her life. She chose, instead, to amplify those things that gave her great joy — and that list was very long. – Queenisms™

Did you ever meet someone who wears their story like a heavy wet blanket? We have to admit that there have been times in our lives where our “story” felt so soggy and heavy we could not shed it. We’d like to suggest that the way to slough off that wet garment is to amplify those things in our lives that truly give us joy. Make a list. Color it brightly. Hang it at eye level in a place you’ll see often during your day. Read it aloud. And add to that list often. Your struggles may not magically go away, but we guarantee you that your ability to see a way forward, to enjoy your life journey more and to be move away from the oppressive feeling of being stuck in your difficult moments will lessen. What’s on your joy list?

My Circus, My Monkeys

Saturday, December 19th, 2015

Whenever she heard someone say, "not my circus, not my monkeys," it made her laugh. Because it was her circus, they were her monkeys and she wouldn't have it any other way. - Queenisms™

Whenever she heard someone say, “not my circus, not my monkeys,” it made her laugh. Because it was her circus, they were her monkeys and she wouldn’t have it any other way. – Queenisms™

We’re being a little cheeky here but wanted to make a point. It is often very valuable to keep our focus on those things we can impact and to give ourselves permission to leave the rest alone, as in “not my circus, not my monkeys.” As the Serenity Prayer so famously says “grant me the wisdom to know the difference.” Every once and a while it’s important to remember that the chaos around us is a sign that we are engaged in the world, immersed in a family or friendship circle, caring about loved ones and living life with our hearts. That’s a messy business. Be safe. Practice discernment. And, allow yourselves to be in the messiness of joyful relationships. Allowing ourselves to love other human beings is a messy business, and we’re gratefully continuing to live in the mess.

Gratitude for Support

Friday, December 18th, 2015

She was grateful to have found friends who loved and supported her no matter what. - Queenisms™

She was grateful to have found friends who loved and supported her no matter what. – Queenisms™

One of the most powerful practices in the art of happiness is gratitude. Take a moment to think about friends, family or even acquaintances who have come into your life at one time or another, and loved you no matter what you did or didn’t do. Have you ever allowed yourself to love someone for who they are and not for who they might be, were or could be if they just listened to you? We practice this by saying to ourselves, “Oh look, my wacky friend is doing that thing that sometimes drives me crazy. It seems to give her comfort. How wonderful.” There are many other examples of accepting someone’s behavior and loving them anyway. Now, this can be a slippery slope. Any time someone’s behavior puts them or you at risk or distresses you, that’s a different story. We’re talking about quirks here. We’re talking about accepting people for the messy, flawed, but wonderful people they are. To have such a friend, be such a friend.

Gratitude for the Journey

Saturday, November 14th, 2015

She had come out on the other side of her pain and sadness and felt only gratitude for the journey. - Queenisms™

She had come out on the other side of her pain and sadness and felt only gratitude for the journey. – Queenisms™

Pain and sadness feel as though they’ll last forever when we’re mired deep in them. But human beings have the capacity to overcome more than you can imagine and pain and sadness just can’t last forever. Now we’re not talking about biological depression here, which most definitely requires the guidance of a professional to overcome. We’re talking about the resilience that is possible for most people, even after heartbreak, disappointment, sorrow and hurt. We’re talking about the ability to hold both sadness and hope in our hearts at the same time until the sadness and pain become less than the hope and joy. And we’re talking about the ability to look back and be grateful for the companions on the journey, the lessons learned through our own perseverance and the courage it takes to allow a space for joy to return to our lives. That’s something we’d like to celebrate today. Have you learned to laugh again? Have you overcome something and walked back into a place where you’re able to enjoy life? Please share if you can. When we share our stories, we give the gift of hope to someone who is struggling.

More Reasons to Be Grateful Than Not

Friday, November 6th, 2015

After she thought about it she decided she had more reasons to be grateful than not. - Queenisms™

After she thought about it she decided she had more reasons to be grateful than not. – Queenisms™

Gratitude is an exercise in readjusting our attitudes. There is science behind the notion that positive thinking retrains our brains to see situations in a new light. We really can impact our lives in a positive way by noticing those things in our lives that are good, acknowledging them, and doing so regularly. We like to practice in the simplest of ways. Each morning before we get out of bed, we pause before our feet hit the floor and say “I am grateful for . . .”. This is our daily practice of happiness. When we’re able to do that both upon rising and before we turn out the lights at night, we notice a difference in the way we feel. Who’s ready to join us?

Gratefully Trying Again

Saturday, April 18th, 2015

She was filled with gratitude for the opportunity to try again. - Queenisms™

She was filled with gratitude for the opportunity to try again. – Queenisms™

That opportunity exists for all of us. There is simply no expiration date on  this. Whether you’re trying to make healthier choices in your life or choosing to surround yourself with supportive people or deciding to learn a new skill, there is a new opportunity every morning. We’re so grateful for that. Can you imagine what life would be like if we could never change our minds, choose a new path, reinvent ourselves or make a different choice? Yowza life would be dull. What are you grateful for in this moment before you decide to try again?

Gratitude

Tuesday, April 7th, 2015

Gratitude changes everything

The practice of gratitude doesn’t need to be complicated. Gratitude is a meditation. It lowers your stress level, raises your joy level and reboots a bad day. Just pausing throughout your day and saying, to yourself, “I’m grateful for,” will impact you positively.

Let’s practice now. What are you grateful for today?

She was different and that was perfect

Monday, February 16th, 2015

It wasn't that she tried to be different but instead, against all odds, she dared to simply be herself. - Queenisms™

It wasn’t that she tried to be different but instead, against all odds, she dared to simply be herself. – Queenisms™

Here’s a strange paradox. We’re all different and we’re all exactly alike. We each have our own combination of gifts, talents, desires, longings, interests and goals. Those combinations make us unique. But, we also are alike in a couple of ways. We all want, and deserve, to be cherished and respected – both by others and by ourselves.

And, here’s the best part. When we discover our authentic selves, embrace who we are, and dare to show our true selves to the world, we are most likely to attract a circle of companions and loved ones who cherish us. Cherish yourself and you model to the world how to treat you. Can you honestly say you admire, respect and cherish yourself? We’d like to hear from you. This is one of the most important steps we can take on our journey to happiness.

She Made Questionable Choices

Sunday, February 15th, 2015

She had made some questionable choices, many of which led to some difficult circumstances. But the most important choice she ever made - in her entire life - was to give herself a second chance. - Queenisms™

She had made some questionable choices, many of which led to some difficult circumstances. But the most important choice she ever made – in her entire life – was to give herself a second chance. – Queenisms™

Let’s put it out there right now. We’ve made MANY questionable choices in our lives. We freely admit it. And, we think you are not different than us in that way. So if you’re sitting in your room right now, feeling shame and regret and thinking every other woman out there is leading a great life and hasn’t ventured down that dark alley of “bad” choices, you’re just out and out wrong. Get up and get out of that room right now. You are not different, shameful, unlovable or anything else. You are, however, anchored down by secrets. When we lock something away, like regret or shame, we aren’t protecting ourselves. We’re giving it power by working hard to hide that piece of ourselves. We work overtime to build up a protective barrier between us and those “questionable choices.” But the more we try to bury them, the more they send out roots and take over our thoughts, feelings and actions. Anything you’ve said, done or thought is a reflection of a moment in time. Right now, you’re able to make new choices and impact new outcomes, all with the knowledge that if you look to the left and to the right, you’ll see every other woman you’ve ever know on the exact same path, looking for happiness.

Is there something you are hiding away that you can forgive yourself for, today? You don’t need to tell us what it is if you don’t want to. Just type “I forgive myself” in the comments below to let us know you’re thinking about it. OK? We adore you, by the way.

Be Your Own Valentine

Saturday, February 14th, 2015

She wanted to give and receive more love in her life so she decided to make everyday Valentine's Day. As the Queen of her own life, she could do things like that. - Queenisms™

She wanted to give and receive more love in her life so she decided to make everyday Valentine’s Day. As the Queen of her own life, she could do things like that. – Queenisms™

Happy Valentine’s Day Queens. While one day a year is dedicated to love, we’d sure like to change that. We believe that every day needs to be filled with love and admiration, for ourselves, so that we can go out into the world and share our light.

Let’s do a little exercise. Try it this week and please let us know how it goes for you. Each morning when your eyes pop open, don’t roll over and grab your cellphone and head to Facebook. Force yourself to stay prone for just a moment and whisper something positive to and about yourself. Some days we whisper, “You’ve got enough intelligence and courage to face this busy day.” Some days we’re able to say “You deserve to play today and I’m going to help you make that happen.” And other days all we can muster is “You have nice teeth. Let’s go brush them.” Happiness is a practice. Let’s practice this week, shall we? This tiny one-minute meditation might just create a shift in your thinking.