Queen of Your Own Life by Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff

Queen of Your Own Life is an attitude, a way of life and a call to action for grown up women everywhere.

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Queen of Your Own Life

Posts Tagged ‘laughter’

Make Someone Snort with Laughter

Thursday, December 17th, 2015

She had one hard and fast rule these days. . . Spend more time with people who make you snort liquid out your nose or laugh so hard tears run down your cheeks. - Queenisms™

She had one hard and fast rule these days. . . Spend more time with people who make you snort liquid out your nose or laugh so hard tears run down your cheeks. – Queenisms™

We highly recommend the power of a good, deep belly laugh. It puts everything into perspective, brings a burst of oxygen into our lungs, releases tension from our whole bodies and simply leaves us unable to feel down. We request that you spend more time with those people who cause you to feel this way and less time with people who cause you to feel doubt, fear, hurt, regret or any other negative emotion – including yourself. This is our command. So sayeth the Queens!

Be a Happiness Icon

Sunday, December 13th, 2015

She was never going to be a fashion icon. Instead she chose to be a woman living a life full of love, laughter and joy. - Queenisms™

She was never going to be a fashion icon. Instead she chose to be a woman living a life full of love, laughter and joy. – Queenisms™

You don’t have to wear a fish on your hat to be an icon of happiness – but it helps. We found this photo with the fish already in it or maybe we should say on it! We just enhanced it a bit. It amused the heck out of us to realize someone, long ago, took a photo of a woman holding a fish while wearing a fish hat and we imagine that their purpose was to create a moment of joy, laughter or even – dare we say it – silliness. We don’t know what the original intent was but we now believe this woman is, while not a fashion icon, surely a happiness icon. What would your picture be like if you were to declare yourself to be a happiness icon? Silly, stoic, sweet, funny, charming? We’d love to know.

The Restorative Power of Fun

Tuesday, December 8th, 2015

She believed in the restorative power of fun. So she kept a couple of good laughs up her sleeve, and she wasn't afraid to use them. - Queenisms™

She believed in the restorative power of fun. So she kept a couple of good laughs up her sleeve, and she wasn’t afraid to use them. – Queenisms™

Photo credit: Kathleen Crook’s mother, Marie.

We love the impish look on this photo from Kathleen Crook. Although we don’t know for sure, we think her Mom, Marie, probably had a great sense of humor. Humor is something we believe holds a lot of power in life. It has the ability to help us through stressful times and times of trouble. It has the ability to bond us to others and uplift us on even the most average day. Humor, we think, is something that comes naturally to human’s and we have to work pretty hard to squash it out of our lives. So folks, let’s stop trying so hard to find the negative and the hurtful and the damaging things in everyone and everything around us and look for the silly, sweet and funny stuff we can celebrate together. Let’s just try.

Guffaw, Chortle, Snort

Tuesday, April 28th, 2015

Sometimes she laughed out loud, to herself, in a way that caused people to stare. And she decided there was nothing wrong with that. - Queenisms™

Sometimes she laughed out loud, to herself, in a way that caused people to stare. And she decided there was nothing wrong with that. – Queenisms™

We would never look askance at any women who laughs so hard she loses control of her bodily functions. In fact, we might just applaud her. The gift of being able to see the humor in a situation is life affirming and we’d like to say bravo to every woman who allows herself to guffaw, chortle, snort, chuckle, belly laugh or whatever form of pure appreciation she is able to utter. Bravo Queens. We’re with you. Here’s to a day when even a slight smile can be the beginning of something loud, disruptive and purely delightful. *snort*

Stop Comparing Yourself

Monday, April 27th, 2015

She decided to stop comparing herself with everyone else she met. - Queenisms™

She decided to stop comparing herself with everyone else she met. – Queenisms™

Comparing ourselves to others is something nearly every one of us has done yet the futility of this is striking. First, we can never truly know what is going on for that person we admire. We believe that if you could stand in their shoes for any length of time, you’d most likely choose your own “baggage” rather than trade with them. We can’t always see the pain, fear, frustration and anxiety that is a silent partner for most people. But that aside, we all have something about us that needs to shine and when we dull our shine due to some misconception that our lives would be better if we were like that person or this person, we turn our attention away from those things that could be our most important assets. And, finally, we’d just like to say “snap out of it.” If we were all exactly the same, what a boring world this would be. It’s precisely because of our differences that we are more beautiful, fascinating, clever, talented and creative. So put away your cookie cutter mentality and let yourself be unique you. No one compares to you!

Buy Yourself Flowers

Saturday, April 25th, 2015

It was just a buy yourself flowers kind of day. So she did. - Queenisms™

It was just a buy yourself flowers kind of day. So she did. – Queenisms™

The power of flowers comes from something in addition to their beauty, scent and esthetic. The power of buying yourself flowers comes from believing you deserve them. That word, “deserve,” is so often given negative meaning as in “she’s selfish.” But we think there’s another way to look at this. The act of giving ourselves small gifts that serve no purpose other than to bring joy is important. Practicing nurturing ourselves is a step toward believing we are worthy of joy, beauty, kindness and pleasure. It’s along the same line as stopping ourselves from negative self talk. Giving ourselves small gifts is a way of speaking positively to ourselves with actions rather than words. And flowers aren’t the only way to do this. Giving ourselves the gift of a quiet moment, a walk, a rest or simply a pause in our daily activity for no other reason than “I want to give you this gift,” is similar. If the pause is accompanied by the thought “I’m so stressed,” that doesn’t have the same impact as “you deserve a little break.” So what will you give yourself today just because you deserve to be nurtured by you? Remember, the power of buying yourself flowers comes from believing you deserve them.

She was different and that was perfect

Monday, February 16th, 2015

It wasn't that she tried to be different but instead, against all odds, she dared to simply be herself. - Queenisms™

It wasn’t that she tried to be different but instead, against all odds, she dared to simply be herself. – Queenisms™

Here’s a strange paradox. We’re all different and we’re all exactly alike. We each have our own combination of gifts, talents, desires, longings, interests and goals. Those combinations make us unique. But, we also are alike in a couple of ways. We all want, and deserve, to be cherished and respected – both by others and by ourselves.

And, here’s the best part. When we discover our authentic selves, embrace who we are, and dare to show our true selves to the world, we are most likely to attract a circle of companions and loved ones who cherish us. Cherish yourself and you model to the world how to treat you. Can you honestly say you admire, respect and cherish yourself? We’d like to hear from you. This is one of the most important steps we can take on our journey to happiness.

She Made Questionable Choices

Sunday, February 15th, 2015

She had made some questionable choices, many of which led to some difficult circumstances. But the most important choice she ever made - in her entire life - was to give herself a second chance. - Queenisms™

She had made some questionable choices, many of which led to some difficult circumstances. But the most important choice she ever made – in her entire life – was to give herself a second chance. – Queenisms™

Let’s put it out there right now. We’ve made MANY questionable choices in our lives. We freely admit it. And, we think you are not different than us in that way. So if you’re sitting in your room right now, feeling shame and regret and thinking every other woman out there is leading a great life and hasn’t ventured down that dark alley of “bad” choices, you’re just out and out wrong. Get up and get out of that room right now. You are not different, shameful, unlovable or anything else. You are, however, anchored down by secrets. When we lock something away, like regret or shame, we aren’t protecting ourselves. We’re giving it power by working hard to hide that piece of ourselves. We work overtime to build up a protective barrier between us and those “questionable choices.” But the more we try to bury them, the more they send out roots and take over our thoughts, feelings and actions. Anything you’ve said, done or thought is a reflection of a moment in time. Right now, you’re able to make new choices and impact new outcomes, all with the knowledge that if you look to the left and to the right, you’ll see every other woman you’ve ever know on the exact same path, looking for happiness.

Is there something you are hiding away that you can forgive yourself for, today? You don’t need to tell us what it is if you don’t want to. Just type “I forgive myself” in the comments below to let us know you’re thinking about it. OK? We adore you, by the way.

Be Your Own Valentine

Saturday, February 14th, 2015

She wanted to give and receive more love in her life so she decided to make everyday Valentine's Day. As the Queen of her own life, she could do things like that. - Queenisms™

She wanted to give and receive more love in her life so she decided to make everyday Valentine’s Day. As the Queen of her own life, she could do things like that. – Queenisms™

Happy Valentine’s Day Queens. While one day a year is dedicated to love, we’d sure like to change that. We believe that every day needs to be filled with love and admiration, for ourselves, so that we can go out into the world and share our light.

Let’s do a little exercise. Try it this week and please let us know how it goes for you. Each morning when your eyes pop open, don’t roll over and grab your cellphone and head to Facebook. Force yourself to stay prone for just a moment and whisper something positive to and about yourself. Some days we whisper, “You’ve got enough intelligence and courage to face this busy day.” Some days we’re able to say “You deserve to play today and I’m going to help you make that happen.” And other days all we can muster is “You have nice teeth. Let’s go brush them.” Happiness is a practice. Let’s practice this week, shall we? This tiny one-minute meditation might just create a shift in your thinking.

Willpower Coming Out of Her Ears

Thursday, February 12th, 2015

It wasn't about willpower; she had willpower coming out of her ears. It was about finally believing that no matter what, she was worth fighting for. - Queenisms™

It wasn’t about willpower; she had willpower coming out of her ears. It was about finally believing that no matter what, she was worth fighting for. – Queenisms™

We spent our entire young adult life believing that if we just had more willpower we’d be thinner, richer, happier, more successful and a whole slew of other  whatever-ers. If we’d spent half the time we spent worrying about how to get more willpower, engaged in working on our own self-esteem, we’d have entered our thirties as darned near perfect (*chortles to self*). Seriously, we spent decades working on finally accepting that who were are and who we’ve been has always been good enough.

In our professional and personal lives we’ve come to realize that the more personal, real, raw and honest we are, the more we attract the kinds of people, places, things and opportunities that are a fit for us and add to our happiness. Whenever we forget this, we plunge ourselves into anxiety, fear, and frustration.

Here’s a little exercise. Repeat after us (preferably as you make eye contact with yourself in a mirror):

“I believe in you. You are perfect just as you are. If there is something about yourself or your circumstances that you want to change, I will stand by you while you try. I have the willpower to support every healthy, positive, affirming choice you make. I believe in you.”

Psychological studies have shown that we can rewire our brains through positive affirmations. You are worth the effort. How did this exercise feel to you?