Queen of Your Own Life by Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff

Queen of Your Own Life is an attitude, a way of life and a call to action for grown up women everywhere.

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Queen of Your Own Life

Posts Tagged ‘Queenisms’

She did not give a fig

Sunday, April 19th, 2015

Everyone thought she was a rebel because she decided to make "someday" happen today. And, she didn't give a fig. - Queenisms™

Everyone thought she was a rebel because she decided to make “someday” happen today. And, she didn’t give a fig. – Queenisms™

What if you tried and failed? What if you tried and succeeded? The success part requires the try part. So many of us put off doing those things that are in our hearts. Often it’s because we’re worrying about what others might think if they saw us try and fail, or try and succeed. Worrying about “what they’ll think” is really not a very good excuse for not creating the life you deserve. Because what they’ll think is “Gee, I wish I had the courage to do that.”

So to nurture an attitude of not giving a fig what “they’ll” say, here’s a little something we like to do when we’re pondering doing something bold. We like to ask ourselves two questions:

  1. How will I feel if I don’t do this?
  2. How will I feel if I do?

See, you already know the answers and you only need to start down the path toward the goal to be on your way. What would you do if “someday” were today?

Gratefully Trying Again

Saturday, April 18th, 2015

She was filled with gratitude for the opportunity to try again. - Queenisms™

She was filled with gratitude for the opportunity to try again. – Queenisms™

That opportunity exists for all of us. There is simply no expiration date on  this. Whether you’re trying to make healthier choices in your life or choosing to surround yourself with supportive people or deciding to learn a new skill, there is a new opportunity every morning. We’re so grateful for that. Can you imagine what life would be like if we could never change our minds, choose a new path, reinvent ourselves or make a different choice? Yowza life would be dull. What are you grateful for in this moment before you decide to try again?

Congratulations on Your Imagination

Friday, April 17th, 2015

She took a long look at her life so far and thought, "I didn't do anything perfectly but I sure used a lot of imagination!" Then she reached over and patted herself on the back. - Queenisms™ Photo: Paige Buffone's grandmother, Dorothy Bolam Buffone

She took a long look at her life so far and thought, “I didn’t do anything perfectly but I sure used a lot of imagination!” Then she reached over and patted herself on the back. – Queenisms™

Special thanks to Paige Buffone for allowing us to turn her grandmother, Dorothy Bolam Buffone into a Queenisms quote.

We can use our imagination to help us or to hold us back. The choice is yours. We use our imaginations daily. Sometimes we imagine good things and sometimes we imagine things that just knock the stuffing out of us. We call those the “what ifs.” What if I fail? What if I’m not enough? What if no one cares? What if [insert endless list of worries here]. But we’re also capable of imagining ourselves creating good outcomes for clients and friends, helping someone or ticking things off of our personal to do lists. We can imagine ourselves tending to our health and well being. We can imagine ourselves making time for good friends and things that make us laugh – most often the same thing. We can use our imaginations for good if we choose to do so. What will you imagine this week?

Shush Those Negative Voices

Thursday, April 16th, 2015

She shushed those negative voices so she could hear her Queen voice say, "you are enough." - Queenisms™

She shushed those negative voices so she could hear her Queen voice say, “you are enough.” – Queenisms™

Those negative voices in your head need to be called out and admonished so they change their tune. You know what we’re talking about. Those voices that whisper “you’re not good enough” are not coming from anyone but yourself. And, no one can shush them except you. Now it might sound nutty, but we find it helpful to tackle those thoughts head on and out loud. Here’s what we do. Look yourself in the eyes, in a mirror, and repeat after us. “Hey, it is not acceptable for you to speak to me that way. I will no longer tolerate that kind of negative talk. I am enough, exactly as I am. If I want to make changes to who I am, I’ll do it because I want to. I will not be bullied, badgered, or broken by nit picky negative thoughts that don’t uplift and support me. Now if you cannot say kind and uplifting things to me, you’ll just have to be quiet. Do we understand one another?”

Trust us. This really works. You may need to have the same conversation over and over again, daily or some days hourly. But if you do, you’ll change your voices. We promise. What will you say to your negative voices?

If They Don’t Get You

Wednesday, April 15th, 2015

She was a spunky, strong and kind woman who always held her head high and put her best foot forward. If others didn't get her it was their loss. - Queenisms™

She was a spunky, strong and kind woman who always held her head high and put her best foot forward. If others didn’t get her it was their loss. – Queenisms™

Special thanks to Katrina Walker for letting us turn Grandma, Carolyn “Carney” Allbritain into a Queenisms quote!

Finding your “tribe” is a life journey worth taking. When Queen Cindy’s daughter was in high school she felt she didn’t fit in. We used to tell her “you’ll find your people in college. . .and she did. Finding the people who get you is one of the most powerful journey’s you can take. When you find your tribe, you are home. And, we love the word spunky. To us a spunky woman is someone who does what needs to be done, even when she’d rather just curl up under the covers and tell the world to go away. Not that there’s anything wrong with that on occasion. We all need to give ourselves quiet moments (or days). But today we’re saluting the spunky women amongst us. Hip, hip, hurrah! Whose the spunkiest woman you know?

Dare to Stand Out

Tuesday, April 14th, 2015

She believed in standing out rather than fitting in. She was never boring. - Queenisms™

She believed in standing out rather than fitting in. She was never boring. – Queenisms™

It’s natural to want to fit in. But you were born to stand out. If you’re anything like us, you spent a good deal of time in your life’s journey trying to fit in. It’s natural to want to belong. We’re a social species. We survive by being a part of a group, be it family or friendship circle. But when our desire to fit in causes us to suppress our true selves, to hide our light, to dull our sheen, well that’s not a good thing. The “group” is enhanced by the sharing of the gifts of individuals. Let’s cast off the uniform of fitting in and dare to stand out, shall we? Is there something about you that you’re hiding for fear of standing out? Are you good at something but don’t want to make others feel threatened? We’d love to hear how you could stand out – if you dared.

Be Happy Right Now

Monday, April 13th, 2015

Instead of always waiting for the other shoe to drop, she decided to allow herself to be happy right now. - Queenisms™

Instead of always waiting for the other shoe to drop, she decided to allow herself to be happy right now. – Queenisms™

Do you spend more time worrying about what might happen next than fully experiencing what is happening now? You’re not alone. Thinking about the future can be a good thing, helping us plan, save, navigate and set ourselves up for joy. But when all of our energy goes into fretting about what might happen, because we’ve been disappointed or hurt or injured or surprised, we rob ourselves of the experience of lovely moments in the present. It is possible to be deeply hurt and still take in the beauty of a cloudless day. That’s the human capacity for joy. We can mourn loved ones and still take in the love of those still with us and even enjoy the memories of the love of those we’ve lost. We can experience setbacks and still be pleasantly surprised by the comfort in a cup of tea. What if “other shoe” never drops and you look back on your life realizing you spent the majority of your energy waiting? That would be a tragedy. Please don’t let the happiness of now be taken away by the fear of the maybe.

Ask the Hard Questions

Sunday, April 12th, 2015

She definitely didn't have all the answers. But she was smart enough to ask herself the hard questions. - Queenisms™

She definitely didn’t have all the answers. But she was smart enough to ask herself the hard questions. – Queenisms™

When is the last time you asked yourself some hard questions – and then listened to your own heart for the answers? Those answers are the sign posts on the journey of life. They tell us which road to take, when to stop and rest, how long to keep climbing, and which travel companions are best. Two of those questions, for us, have been:

  • What do I want to leave behind as I begin this next leg of my journey that no longer serves me well?
  • What do I want to take forward with me as I journey onward that still works in my life?

Notice we did not say “who?” We said “what.” The who is a product of the what. Do you want to leave behind destructive behaviors or fearful decision-making or hiding your gifts to fit in? Do you want to take forward your sense of humor, your resilience or your creativity? The answers to your questions will be very individual. So please dare to ask. And, most of all, dare to listen. We’d love to hear your answers to these questions. As we share our stories, we help others probe deeper in this questioning part of our journey. So you’re being of service to others when you share. Asking and answering two important questions will serve as a guidepost for decision-making about your next life adventure.

Right Where You’re Meant to Be

Saturday, April 11th, 2015

t took her breath away to recall naive she'd been. Yet, despite it all, she'd ended up right where she was always meant to be. - Queenisms™

It took her breath away to recall naive she’d been. Yet, despite it all, she’d ended up right where she was always meant to be. – Queenisms™

Sometimes when we look back on our lives so far, we can see how naive we were along the way. We may not have suspected that people could deceive us or that we could have survived great personal challenges. But we might also not have understood the depth of our own strength or the resilience of our hearts. We may not have realized we had the capacity to love so deeply or to journey so far or to overcome physical or emotional wounds. But if you are reading this, you are still on that journey. That means you’re right where you are meant to be – on your own personal path with choices to be made daily. That, we think, is a glorious thing. You have everything you need to be a great traveler on life’s journey and every experience you’d had so far becomes part of your internal navigation system.

Forgive and Forget?

Friday, April 10th, 2015

She was done beating herself up for choices she'd made in the past. It was time for her to forgive and forget. - Queenisms™

She was done beating herself up for choices she’d made in the past. It was time for her to forgive and forget. – Queenisms™

Just curious. Do you believe you’re the only person who ever made a mistake? Do you believe your mistake was so egregious that you don’t deserve a second chance? Snap out of it.  Seriously. Enough already. Forgive yourself and forget to wallow in the torment of thinking about yourself as stuck in time, reliving those moments when you perhaps misstepped.

Clean your mental closet and throw away those old, outdated thoughts that are crowding out the space you need to be the woman you are today.