Queen of Your Own Life by Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff

Queen of Your Own Life is an attitude, a way of life and a call to action for grown up women everywhere.

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Queen of Your Own Life

Posts Tagged ‘Queenisms’

She Would Not Be Contained

Tuesday, November 25th, 2014

She Would Not Be Contained is an original, trademarked digital art piece and writing by authors Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff. http://QueenofYourOwnLife.com

She was surrounded by people who wanted her to conform. But luckily, she was a free-spirit who would not be contained. ~ Queenisms™

From childhood through adulthood, we’re asked to conform and in some cases, conformity is a good thing. We conform on basic principals we’ve agreed to as a society. We do not steal, murder, or cheat. We drive on the proper side of the road and obey traffic signs. We conform on things that make living on a crowded planet possible. But there are other ways in which we’re asked to conform where a rebellion may be in order. Your opinion, your talents, your passions, your dreams, your health and happiness – all of those may be inconvenient for others who long for you not to rock the boat. Have you ever changed a habit and found that even though it was good for you, it didn’t make everyone around you happy? That’s pressure to conform. When someone wants to quit smoking, all their smoking buddies may see this act as a rejection of the time they spend together huddled in the doorway outside the office. Suddenly they may not be “in the club.” That’s the pressure to conform, very subtly. When you decide to stop drinking, all your social drinking adventures may seem off limits and you might feel isolated. (What? How can I go on that trip to Chianti country and not drink?) But the truth is that changing a habit or embracing a dream are all ways of boldly disrupting the status quo. That takes courage – which we know you have in spades.

Sitting Tall in the Saddle

Monday, November 24th, 2014

Sit Tall in the Saddle is an original, trademarked digital art piece and writing by authors Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff. http://QueenofYourOwnLife.com

It was true life could be rough but it wasn’t anything she couldn’t handle. all she needed to do was keep her hat on tight, sit tall in her saddle and she’d be just fine. – Queenisms™

Everyone feels as though they’ve had a rough ride, now and then. But you are here, right now, reading this. That means you are a survivor, strong and brave. You’ve weathered so much in your life and you have the fortitude to take on anything that comes your way. Today we’re hoping that the trail is smooth from here on out and that your experiences lead you down only lazy, glorious trails with beautiful vistas. But just in case, we know you’re able to handle whatever is around the next bend. We admire your strength. From this moment on, let’s not just think of ourselves as survivors, but as thrivers.

Changing the Conversation with Yourself

Sunday, November 23rd, 2014

Everywhere she turned is an original, trademarked digital art piece and writing by authors Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff. http://QueenofYourOwnLife.com

Everywhere she turned she got the message that she wasn’t enough. She decided it was time to filter out the hooey and focus on the truth. She was more than enough. And she had the power to change worlds – starting with her own. ~ Queenisms™

Why do people give us negative messages? Lots of reasons. But primarily because of their own low self-esteem and fear. Why does the media give us negative messages? Money. When we feel “less than” someone else, we want their products or services to feel better about ourselves. A little secret is that no amount of high end skin care will change the way you feel about yourself (although we admit to loving a good skin care product). We cannot say this enough. Happiness is an inside job. When you compare your insides to someone else’s outside, you will always come up short. When someone is working overtime to give you the message that you are not “enough,” that’s a glaring sign to turn on your heels and walk away. In fact, run away. That person or group of people are toxic. You are an intelligent woman. You have the ability to see and hear other people’s “stuff” if you think about it. We like to say this to ourselves when someone is trying to put us into a box. “Wow, that person must be very hurt or distressed to put out such negative messages. I don’t have to take them in. I can choose to remove myself from this situation – with love.”

You have a choice. Choose you.

Dare to Misbehave

Saturday, November 22nd, 2014

She'd always done what was expected is an original, trademarked digital art piece and writing by authors Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff. http://QueenofYourOwnLife.com

She’d always done what was expected of her. So today she planned to misbehave. ~ Queenisms™

Dare to misbehave. Find your inner Queen. Break free of expectations. Surprise yourself. Sometimes we put ourselves into a box, creating our own strict set of rules. Sometimes we act as we think others expect us to act. Sometimes we need to break free and do something wildly unexpected. What will you do today to misbehave and support your inner Queen?

Make Small Daily Choices for Happiness

Friday, November 21st, 2014

Make Small Daily Choices for Happiness is an original, trademarked digital art piece and writing by authors Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff. http://QueenofYourOwnLife.com

She began to realize that happiness could be achieved by making a series of small positive choices every day. ~ Queenisms™

Every day we get to make choices, some big and some small. We choose to get out of bed, brush our teeth, take a shower and eat breakfast – or not. We choose to see the good in others – or not. We choose to set boundaries that support us emotionally – or not. And, every morning, we have a fresh chance to make new choices. What do you choose?

The Travesty of Not Trying

Thursday, November 20th, 2014

The Travesty of Not Trying is an original, trademarked digital art piece and writing by authors Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff. http://QueenofYourOwnLife.com

She suddenly realized that not trying would be a travesty. And with that knowledge, she became unstoppable. ~ Queenisms™

No one ever gets to the end of their lives and thinks “Gee, I wished I’d lived a smaller life.” We’d like to suggest that when we go we want to know we left it all on the table, so to speak. We’d like to believe it would be comforting to know we tried, failed, laughed, cried, traveled, dreamed, loved, lost, challenged ourselves, surprised ourselves and in general had one heck of an adventure. If there is something in your life you’d love to do, what are you waiting for? What’s stopping you?

Not trying is self-editing. It’s limiting your dreams right from the hint of an idea and squelching them in the bud. Let’s knock it off. Isn’t not trying the real travesty?

Uncomfortable Feelings

Wednesday, November 19th, 2014

Uncomfortable Feelings is an original, trademarked digital art piece and writing by authors Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff. http://QueenofYourOwnLife.com

Uncomfortable sitting in her feelings she often tried to escape them by overindulging in things that weren’t good for her. She decided to break this bad habit by first taking a deep breath then calling a trusted friend to talk it over. She was the brave, smart Queen of her own life. ~ Queenisms™

We suspect we are not alone in this one. Habits that are in direct conflict with our own well being are often the go-to cover up for feelings we’re not sure how to address. That’s where a good, agenda-free friend is your best choice. When we keep secrets, harbor insecurities, avoid setting boundaries, put off making choices to lead us to happiness – we often stuff those scary thoughts down in one way or another. You are brave enough and you deserve the support of yourself and others. Discomfort in confronting our feelings does not last. The effects of harmful behavior does. Choose to change the habit of silence.

Put Pep in Your Step

Tuesday, November 18th, 2014

All rights reserved. Cindy Ratzlaff and Kathy Kinney blog and write books about claiming happiness in midlife at http://QueenofYourOwnLife.com. All of their affirmations and digital art are original, trademarked and copyright protected.

People wondered at the way she could make everyone around her smile. Her secret was, she was quick to laugh, slow to criticize and frankly, making people smile put pep in her step. ~ Queenisms™

Here’s a simple question. Which makes you feel better – being cross with someone or making someone smile? If we go about our business each day with an attitude of adding something gentle to the world rather than battling every person, place or thing we come across, we’re creating a gentler world for ourselves – let alone for others. Now, there is nothing wrong with raging against injustice and wrongs. In fact, it’s our duty as citizens of this world to be angry about wrongs and hold one another accountable for living in a way that uplifts and supports us all. BUT, general curmudgeonly behavior serves no one. Here’s a simple test we swear will prove to you, once and for all, that attitude can alter your world.

Make a commitment, for one full day, to stop yourself, mid sentence, any time you find yourself complaining or speaking sarcastically to yourself or to others. Then rephrase in a positive uplifting way. For example, “Well, that took you a long time. I asked you to do that weeks ago,” becomes “Thank you for doing that thing I asked you to do. It means a lot to me that you finished it.” Someone bumping you absentmindedly in a store gets a “Oops, are you ok?” (and a smile) rather than a “Hey, watch it?” and a scowl.

Give both loved ones and strangers your most compassionate smile – just for one day. Then tell us how your day went. We think you’ll say it was a wonderful day. Why? Because we believe you are amazing women (and men), capable of creating the kind of lives you’d most like to have. We don’t just contribute to the energy around us. Sometimes we create it. So let’s intentionally create something wonderful.

Be Extraordinarily Ordinary

Monday, November 17th, 2014

Ordinarily Extraordinary is an original, trademarked digital art piece and writing by authors Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff. http://QueenofYourOwnLife.com

She was an ordinary woman leading an extraordinary life. It was a choice she made for herself every single day. ~ Queenisms™

Be extraordinarily ordinary. When we were children we were told we should grow up to be someone special, someone who would change the world. That’s a lot of pressure and not realistic, frankly. If every person in the world were extraordinary, well, that would be the norm and we’d all be ordinary. And, that’s our point. If we are all our best selves, using our innate gifts to the fullest, then extraordinary becomes ordinary. Wouldn’t that be wonderful.

What if, instead of striving to achieve something great, we approached our lives with an attitude of living fully in each day? We think that attitude would bring about more innovation, inspiration, motivation and transformation than anything we ever imagined. How about you?

Every Morning is a Second Chance

Sunday, November 16th, 2014

All rights reserved. Cindy Ratzlaff and Kathy Kinney blog and write books about claiming happiness in midlife at http://QueenofYourOwnLife.com. All of their affirmations and digital art are original, trademarked and copyright protected.

She’d said yes to everyone for so long she almost forgot what it was like to say yes to herself. Then she realized that every morning she had a second chance. ~ Queenisms™

When we first realize we’ve been saying no to ourselves by saying yes, all the time, to everyone else, we can feel sad or even a little ashamed of neglecting ourselves. As Cher says to Nicolas Cage in Moonstruck, “Snap Out of It.” Creating a life where we say yes to ourselves more often than no means changing our habits and our attitudes. For example, if we want to right size our weight for health reasons, our first thought might be “I have to say no to sugar.” But what if we adjust that lens and think “I have to say yes to feeling good in my body.”  Saying no to some of the requests for our time also means saying yes to creating the time to focus on something important to us. No time to read, write, knit, garden, play or whatever lights you up inside? We humbly suggest there is plenty of time but you’ve given it to someone else by saying yes to every request. Of course, sometimes we must say yes when we want to say no. A loved one is hurt or sick and needs our care, a friend needs support, a pipe bursts and we need to wait for the plumber…life often requires a yes when we long to keep our yeses to ourselves. BUT, there are many discretionary yeses we’re giving out that could easily be reined in.

Whenever there is a request for your time, ask yourself these three questions. Am I willing to do this? Do I want to do this? Am I able to do this? If the answer to all is yes, go ahead and give your yes with love. If the answer to any of these is no, practice releasing the asker to find someone else by simply declining. We like to say “I’m sorry. That won’t be possible. Thank you for asking me though, maybe next time.” Happiness is a practice. Practice saying yes to yourself this week, Queens.