Queen of Your Own Life by Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff

Queen of Your Own Life is an attitude, a way of life and a call to action for grown up women everywhere.

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Queen of Your Own Life

Posts Tagged ‘Queenisms’

Do you admire you?

Tuesday, May 19th, 2015

Can you say "I admire you," to yourself?

Can you look in the mirror and say to yourself “I admire you?” For many of us, the word admire is loaded. We don’t think we can admire someone who has made mistakes. Spoiler alert. There is no one who has made no mistakes. We’d like to hear you say “I admire you,” to yourself, even if you feel foolish, even if you feel like a fraud, even if you don’t quite believe it – yet. Will you try? Will you say it with us? Learning to admire our perfectly imperfect selves is a key ingredient in the happiness equation.

Make Ripples

Tuesday, May 19th, 2015

She forgave herself for that brief moment when she forgot she was awesome, and vowed not to let that happen again. - Queenisms™

She forgave herself for that brief moment when she forgot she was awesome, and vowed not to let that happen again. – Queenisms™

In those moments of doubt about our abilities, our worth, our value and our purpose, we tend to forget we are already “good enough.” Anything we choose to do, seek, say, accomplish or otherwise add to our lives or the lives of others is gravy. We are enough. Our simply being is worthy. So those moments when we beat ourselves up because we don’t look like a movie star or we don’t have a Porsche in the driveway or we don’t have a picture perfect family are the moments when we’ve forgotten that the value in our lives is in the fact that we exist – filled with possibilities. Most often we do not get to know who we’ve impacted in a positive way and how they in turn impacted others and created a ripple that lead to something even we might consider “awesome.” That’s ok. It’s not our job to see the whole picture. It’s our job to have the courage to show up in life and do the best we can with the gifts we possess. If you don’t think you have gifts, we just have to say, you are wrong. Let’s refocus our attention this week, away from doubt about our awesomeness and put it squarely on creating little ripples in the world. Hold the door open for someone – even if they don’t have their arms full. Maybe they have their hearts full or are carrying a burden you can’t see. Thank everyone who even remotely helps you this week. You’ll never know how much they might need to be appreciated or acknowledged. Bite your tongue this week when it comes to criticism of others. Give them the gift of your tolerance. The ability to walk through your week without leaving bodies in your wake is one gift you can access. The other is to walk through your week leaving flowers where thorns might have been trying to break through the cement. Who’s with us? Let’s be ok with the fact that we do not get to know who we’ve impacted or how they in turn impact others to create a ripple that leads to something awesome.

Bent Over Backwards

Monday, May 18th, 2015

She would bend over backwards to help everyone but herself. She thought, "How silly is that?" - Queenisms™

She would bend over backwards to help everyone but herself. She thought, “How silly is that?” – Queenisms™

Sometimes we feel like a pretzel of our own making, twisting ourselves into impossible shapes trying to please everyone, at all times. What an impossible way to thrive. We inevitably end up sore and cranky and we can never really please everyone – all the time! So someone is disappointed and our circus tricks didn’t work. Instead all we got was a bad back. So what would happen if we stood up straight, bent down when we really needed to and took better care of ourselves? We think the result would be less exhaustion, more joyful participation in life, fewer trips to the chiropractor, and a whole lot more time for happiness. It’s great that you can do a back bend. We’re impressed with your flexibility. The flexibility required to do a back bend, emotionally, is impressive. The ability to get back up, even more so.

 

Spread Glitter

Sunday, May 17th, 2015

Everywhere she went, she left a little sparkle. - Queenisms™

Everywhere she went, she left a little sparkle. – Queenisms™

You know how you feel when a stranger smiles at you? Glitter. You know how you feel when a child gives you a big, spontaneous hug? Glitter. You know how you feel when a friend compliments you and you know they really mean it? Glitter. Spreading that kind of sparkle is a form of generosity. It costs you nothing, makes you feel good and plants a little sparkle in the lives of everyone you touch. Are you generous? How will you spread a little sparkle today? Think about purposeful kindness as emotional glitter and decorate your world today with sparkle. Will you dare to let your sparkle loose?

Grateful Eyes

Saturday, May 16th, 2015

She made a conscious decision to look at life through grateful eyes, and that brought everything into sharp focus. - Queenisms™

She made a conscious decision to look at life through grateful eyes, and that brought everything into sharp focus. – Queenisms™

When we look for things to be grateful for, surprise, surprise. We find them. When we look for sadness, fear, hurt, anger, and mistrust, we find those too. What would our lives be like if we looked at them through grateful eyes? Now we’re not saying ignore danger and other real things. We’re simply saying that more often than not there is something good right there in front of us. When we allow ourselves to see it or even to be it, we’re creating more positive experiences and emotions for ourselves. There is even some science behind the concept of positive thought. It’s not as simplistic as it seems. The very act of seeking goodness in the world retrains our brain to see more goodness. For us, that’s a good thing because we think goodness and positive thought have a magnetic pull, bringing more goodness and positive thought into our orbit – and that’s something we very much want for ourselves and for you. Let’s practice. Tell us something you’re grateful for today and then let’s keep a list for the week. No need to journal if you don’t have time. Just put one word down on a piece of scrap paper. We’ll begin. Today we’re grateful for a community of women (and some wonderful men) who are actively seeking to live a more positive life. You?

Being Both Brave and Afraid

Friday, May 15th, 2015

She was afraid more often than she cared to say. But she was also very brave, so she just smiled and kept moving forward. - Queenisms™

She was afraid more often than she cared to say. But she was also very brave, so she just smiled and kept moving forward. – Queenisms™

Show us someone who says they are never afraid and we’ll polite tell them we don’t believe them. Most of us are hit with some bit of fear right after opening our eyes each morning. Will we feel pain when our feet hit the floor? Will others judge us as lacking today? Will we be up for the task – whatever it is? Will we be good enough, smart enough, brave enough? But we still get up. Some days, for some people, that’s heroic. And, once we get up, we put one foot in front of the other and do what must be done. Did you brush your teeth today? That means you believe you’ll be around and in need of teeth in the future. You’re forward thinking. Did you pour yourself a cup of coffee or tea? That means you have a coffee pot or tea pot and something in it and a cup is just a bonus. You’ve been providing for yourself. Did you get dressed? That means you’ve decided to do battle with whatever comes your way today. We think that’s evidence that you’re brave even when you’re afraid. And we’re raising a banner to you today and shouting “good on you” from the crowd as you get ready for your daily joust. It’s ok to be afraid. We all are. It’s remarkable to show up anyway and do the best you can.

 

Happiness Knocking

Thursday, May 14th, 2015

Happiness didn't knock on her door and invite her out to play. She had to build the house, install the door and stand on her porch and holler "Come on in!" - Queenisms™

Happiness didn’t knock on her door and invite her out to play. She had to build the house, install the door and stand on her porch and holler “Come on in!” – Queenisms™

When we lived in New York City, Queen Cindy had a fantasy that a big Broadway producer would knock on her door and give her a starring role in a Broadway musical. Spoiler alert – that did not happen. For the longest time, she felt like she couldn’t be happy unless her dream of stardom on the stage came true. And so she did lots of temporary jobs to make sure she was free to run off on a national tour at any moment, unencumbered by a real job. Funny thing is that on one of those temp jobs, she found herself digging into the work, really enjoying herself, forgetting what time it was and feeling appreciated and respected in a way that never happened at auditions or even in performances. She nudged open the door to this new life and spent the next 25 years experiencing all the joy and satisfaction she’d hoped would come her way through theater. She never looked back. She’d invited happiness into her life in a surprising way and been rewarded in ways she had not even thought about. This new opportunity happened because she wasn’t sitting in her house waiting. She was out in the world, allowing herself to participate and she had the courage to look through a door she hadn’t noticed before and answer the call of “come on in.” If you are waiting for someone or something to offer you happiness, we urge you to step to the door right now and dare to invite something new into your life. Who’s ready? Happiness doesn’t usually make house calls. Most often we have to go look for it and invite it on in.

Reach for the Moon

Wednesday, May 13th, 2015

She had the courage to reach for the moon. - Queenisms™

She had the courage to reach for the moon. – Queenisms™

What would happen if you took the actions required to reach for your dream? What if you made the sacrifices, armed yourself with the tools, did the work necessary – even the boring, hard or not fun stuff – and kept at it until you reached your goal? What would that feel like? We admire the courage it takes to make your dreams come true and we want to cheer you on as you reach for the moon. Tell us what you’re up to. Let’s inspire one another and cheer each other on, shall we?

Reward Yourself

Tuesday, May 12th, 2015

Do you reward yourself with things that are good for you?

Do you reward yourself with things that are good for you? When we think about rewards, many of us think about food, drinks, shopping, parties or other things that may or may not be good for us, individually. For example, alcohol is not a good reward for Queen Cindy. She’s learned this through the years. So how can we learn to reward ourselves in ways that do not harm us? Let’s start a list here so we can inspire one another.

Embrace Your Subborn Self

Tuesday, May 12th, 2015

People thought she was stubborn. But she simply had hopes and dreams that were bigger than anything they could imagine for her. And, those dreams fueled a spark that would not be extinguished. - Queenisms™

People thought she was stubborn. But she simply had hopes and dreams that were bigger than anything they could imagine for her. And, those dreams fueled a spark that would not be extinguished. – Queenisms™

Be stubborn about your dreams. No one can truly know the spark of a dream that lives inside you and while they can help you fan that spark into a flame, only you can identify it. There will be people who discourage you from following a dream. Often they’re not cruel, they’re afraid for you. They wish they could spare you the heartache that comes from trying, stumbling, failing or misstepping. But when anyone denies you that part of your journey, they also deny you the powerful feeling of recovering from heartache, getting up again after stumbling, succeeding after having failed or finding your path after a misstep. Those recovery moments are the building blocks to resilience and nobody has the right to take those away from you – not even you. So go out there and try. Put one foot in front of the other and explore that little nugget of an idea in your heart and see where it leads you. Be stubborn about your journey. Don’t let anyone keep you from your unique path – whether it is straight and easy or whether it is crooked and hard. It’s your path. Be stubborn.