Queen of Your Own Life by Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff

Queen of Your Own Life is an attitude, a way of life and a call to action for grown up women everywhere.

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Queen of Your Own Life

Posts Tagged ‘Queenisms’

Light Up the World

Friday, February 13th, 2015

Hidden inside of her was the kind of power that, if harnessed, could light up the whole world. She decided it was time to throw the switch. - Queenisms™

Hidden inside of her was the kind of power that, if harnessed, could light up the whole world. She decided it was time to throw the switch. – Queenisms™

What exactly would happen if we got up every morning and said to ourselves, “I’m going to throw the switch and shine today,” and we didn’t give a fig of a thought to who might be threatened if we dared to be awesome?

Believe it or not, many of us moderate our energy, our light, so that others feel safe, shiny or brilliant themselves. But truthfully, we’re not doing others a favor by dulling our light. Think about some of the great teachers in history, some of the great leaders or thinkers or inventors. Now think what it would have been like if they’d gotten up in the morning and thought, “Hmmm, maybe I should dial it back a bit and give other people a chance to shine today.” That’s not how it works.

Inspiring people inspire other people to be their own most brilliant selves.

 

Every time you dare to be your best self, you impact someone else. Just like the commercial where one kind deed inspires a series of kind acts that pass from one person to another, so the courageous act of letting your light shine creates a ripple of shiny lights. We’d like to ask you to take a pledge today. Pledge to let yourself be shiny this week, with no apologies. Can you take that pledge?

Willpower Coming Out of Her Ears

Thursday, February 12th, 2015

It wasn't about willpower; she had willpower coming out of her ears. It was about finally believing that no matter what, she was worth fighting for. - Queenisms™

It wasn’t about willpower; she had willpower coming out of her ears. It was about finally believing that no matter what, she was worth fighting for. – Queenisms™

We spent our entire young adult life believing that if we just had more willpower we’d be thinner, richer, happier, more successful and a whole slew of other  whatever-ers. If we’d spent half the time we spent worrying about how to get more willpower, engaged in working on our own self-esteem, we’d have entered our thirties as darned near perfect (*chortles to self*). Seriously, we spent decades working on finally accepting that who were are and who we’ve been has always been good enough.

In our professional and personal lives we’ve come to realize that the more personal, real, raw and honest we are, the more we attract the kinds of people, places, things and opportunities that are a fit for us and add to our happiness. Whenever we forget this, we plunge ourselves into anxiety, fear, and frustration.

Here’s a little exercise. Repeat after us (preferably as you make eye contact with yourself in a mirror):

“I believe in you. You are perfect just as you are. If there is something about yourself or your circumstances that you want to change, I will stand by you while you try. I have the willpower to support every healthy, positive, affirming choice you make. I believe in you.”

Psychological studies have shown that we can rewire our brains through positive affirmations. You are worth the effort. How did this exercise feel to you?

Supportive Language

Wednesday, February 11th, 2015

It didn't matter what any one else said about her. She knew who she was and only spoke to herself in loving and supportive language. - Queenisms™

It didn’t matter what any one else said about her. She knew who she was and only spoke to herself in loving and supportive language. – Queenisms™

There’s a great old saying that we’ll probably be paraphrasing here but in essence it says “It’s not my business what other people think of me,” which goes hand in hand with “I can’t control what others say about me. I can only control how I respond.”

Now we’re not naive enough to expect everyone to stop caring about what others think. In fact, that caring helps us conform to certain societal norms. We don’t drive recklessly, we obey the laws, we write thank you notes, all because we care about others and ourselves. But when caring what others think begins to dominate our thoughts and cause us to be afraid to step into our own power, that’s a problem.

Here’s the truth as we see it. We have absolutely, positively no control over the actions of others. We have even less control over their thoughts about us. All we can do is be the kind of person we’d like to spend with and promise ourselves that we’ll let people who don’t think well of us, pass on through our lives to find their people. There really is a crowd for everyone. We don’t have to have everyone in our crowd.

If there is someone or many someones in your life who do not think or speak kindly of you, it might just be time to do a little housekeeping. We like to think of it as making room for our new friends.

And, in the same post, we’d like to say if there are people in your life who uplift you, speak kindly to you, have no other agenda than your happiness, you are blessed. Put down your computer right now and pick up the phone and tell them. Don’t assume they know. Just simply say “I’m grateful to have you in my life.”

More is not Enough

Wednesday, February 11th, 2015

Queen of Enough

 

She felt herself getting caught up in the rush to do more, be more, have more and she shouted at the top of her lungs…ENOUGH. I am enough. Then she exhaled and smile. ~ Queenisms™

 

You are enough and enough is a beautiful word. Therefore, you are beautiful. Repeat after us. “I am enough and enough is exactly what I want to be.” You are enough. Nothing you can say or do will add to the fact that you are perfect just the way you are. You have everything you need, inside of you, to make the choices that will give you the life you deserve. You are a beautiful work of art.

What holds you back from realizing the truth of your own perfect selves?

Pretty is as Pretty Does

Tuesday, February 10th, 2015

In a world where it was often said, "Pretty is as pretty does," she was known by all to be beautiful inside and out. She was the brave, bold, kind and loving Queen of her own life. - Queenisms™

In a world where it was often said, “Pretty is as pretty does,” she was known by all to be beautiful inside and out. She was the brave, bold, kind and loving Queen of her own life. – Queenisms™

Original black and white photo: Elizabeth Gary’s mother, Catherine Brown Rawls

Pretty might, at first glance, seem like something we experience with our eyes. Indeed beautiful things do please our eyes. But pretty, the way we’re using it this morning, is about the whole person; the spirit, the attitude, the actions and the intentions of a person. To be pretty or beautiful, to us, means to intend to allow (or cause) positive feelings in those around us through our words, actions and thoughts.  Are you living a beautiful life?

Too Valuable to Waste

Monday, February 9th, 2015

She decided that her time was too valuable to waste it with worry and anxiety. So she vowed to let go of her fear so she could be open to seeing the solutions as they appeared. - Queenisms™

She decided that her time was too valuable to waste it with worry and anxiety. So she vowed to let go of her fear so she could be open to seeing the solutions as they appeared. – Queenisms™

Sometimes we let ourselves imagine what we would do with all the time we’d gain if we were able to completely stop worrying and banish anxiety fully. We’d learn to knit, take a singing workshop, travel for pleasure and not business, lay in bed for a full morning and read, cook a crown roast complete with the fancy paper decorations, finally make an appointment to have that massage and use the gift certificate laying at the bottom of our desk drawer. . . How about you? What would you do with your time if you could free yourself from worry? The space worry and anxiety occupies in our lives is not to be underestimated. It can consume precious time and energy for those things in life that make life, well, worth living. Let’s allow our minds to wander and make a list, shall we?

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop

Sunday, February 8th, 2015

One day she realized that she was always holding her breath waiting for the other shoe to drop. She didn't want to live in fear of the future any ore - so she decided to take a leap of faith, let go and began to enjoy the now. - Queenisms™

One day she realized that she was always holding her breath waiting for the other shoe to drop. She didn’t want to live in fear of the future any ore – so she decided to take a leap of faith, let go and began to enjoy the now. – Queenisms™

When bad things happen to good people, even strong people can get into a cycle of anticipating or even expecting something bad to happen around every corner. When we do that, we begin to live our lives curled into a protective ball, trying to emotionally shield ourselves from the next blow. Problem is, when we do that, we also shield ourselves from the next moment of joy or the next miracle or the next beautiful encounter. The key is to acknowledge the bad stuff, find a way to nurture our innate resilience and stay open for the beautiful moments. How do we do that? By living our lives fully awake. When someone hurts us intentionally, we learn to trust ourselves and put distance between us and the danger. When stuff happens over which we have no control, like floods and snow, we learn to reach out for help when we need it and to dig ourselves out when we’re able to do so. When the thing we fear is a mixture of control and no control, like illness or injury, we must find that place within us that allows us to tap our wisdom and resolve and do everything we can to become healthy and whole without spending too much time at the bottom of the well wondering “why me?” If you’ve found yourself in this natural space of waiting for that other shoe to drop, and you’ve come out the other side, won’t you consider sharing your story here to encourage others who are on that path now? When we share our stories, we share our strength.

Reframe Your Inner Conversation

Saturday, February 7th, 2015

She wanted to reclaim the sense of wonder she'd had as a child. So she decided her first thought upon waking in the morning would be, "Each day a new beginning." And, it would be true. - Queenisms™

She wanted to reclaim the sense of wonder she’d had as a child. So she decided her first thought upon waking in the morning would be, “Each day a new beginning.” And, it would be true. – Queenisms™

Let’s do a little experiment. Remember how you felt as a child when your eyes popped open on a Saturday morning and you remembered it was the weekend and you’d be able to go outside and play with abandon? That was a moment of pure joy. Let’s see if we can recreate that and put all of our adult thoughts of what must be done, what should be done, and what can be done off to the side, just for a moment. Imagine your eyes pop open in the morning, you realize it’s Saturday and there’s no work to do. Let yourself image each day as a new beginning. Let’s start every day with one simple thought. “Today is a fresh, new day.” Then tell us what your first thought is after declaring a clean, fresh slate. Go.

When Life Gives You a Smack

Friday, February 6th, 2015

Life had smacked her hard - a number of times. And now she lived in fear, forever waiting for it to happen again. One day she realized that no matter when or what happened she would find the courage to handle it, because that's the kind of woman she was. She decided to let go, because the time for happiness was now. - Queenisms™

Life had smacked her hard – a number of times. And now she lived in fear, forever waiting for it to happen again. One day she realized that no matter when or what happened she would find the courage to handle it, because that’s the kind of woman she was. She decided to let go, because the time for happiness was now. – Queenisms™

The evidence is clear. You are a survivor and a very brave women. If that were not true, you would not be here, reading this today. Take a moment to image yourself on top of a windy mountain, hair blowing in the breeze, and as you look down to the trail you’ve used to get here you see the places you stumbled over big rocks. But you also see the lovely meadow where you moved so quickly you almost missed the field of flowers. Looking a little further up you see the steep climb toward the summit where you now stand and you simply must congratulate yourself on an impressive climb. This describes all of our lives in some form or another. And for many of us, the cuts and bruises on our arms and legs are a testament to our tenacity and strength. But we’re all here, now, standing on this peak. Don’t you deserve to congratulate yourself and celebrate just a bit? When life gives you a smack, take a moment to feel the wind on your face and remember you are a very good climber.

She loved the way she said no

Thursday, February 5th, 2015

She almost never said no, because she wanted to be liked. But when she finally did, she found she liked herself much better. - Queenisms™

She almost never said no, because she wanted to be liked. But when she finally did, she found she liked herself much better. – Queenisms™

If you’ve been following our blogs and posts for awhile, you know that we believe the word no is an essential part of living an honest life. We think saying yes to everyone means saying no to yourself. We also think saying no must be done in a timely fashion and in an honest way. When we cannot, or do not want to, to agree to something, saying no frees the asker to find someone who can do what they need or want. When we say “maybe” or “if” or even “yes” and then rescind at a later date, we’ve been dishonest and we’ve set the stage for hurt feelings or even anger. But a clear cut “no” frees us from the anxiety of planning a way out of something we did not want to do right from the get-go.  See our point? If you’ve been a serial yes-sayer, learning to say no can be uncomfortable. But we assure you, it’s a practice worthy of a Queen.