Queen of Your Own Life by Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff

Queen of Your Own Life is an attitude, a way of life and a call to action for grown up women everywhere.

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Queen of Your Own Life

Posts Tagged ‘Queenisms’

A Core of Polished Steel

Monday, July 20th, 2015

People had been cruel to her in the past but she hadn't allowed it to damage her spirit. She was a kind woman with a core of polished steel. - Queenisms™

People had been cruel to her in the past but she hadn’t allowed it to damage her spirit. She was a kind woman with a core of polished steel. – Queenisms™

What happens to coal when it’s crushed under tons of weight over a long period of time? It becomes a diamond. Now we’re not suggesting that you need to be under a crushing weight to emerge as a diamond. We think you’re already a diamond. We’re simply suggesting that the cruel thoughts and actions of others don’t define you. That’s their own dark “stuff” that needs to be worked out by them. You have a steel core that can keep you upright even when everything around you is falling down. You are a beautiful, compassionate, kind, loving, funny, caring, brilliant, innovative woman who has a beautiful, hard as a diamond interior spirit. Unearth it and let the sun shine on that core – the world need more women of steel.

Normal is Overrated

Sunday, July 19th, 2015

She'd always believed "normal" was highly overrated. She much preferred to be her own quirky self. - Queenisms™

She’d always believed “normal” was highly overrated. She much preferred to be her own quirky self. – Queenisms™

Normal is a center point on an arch that includes all types of people and behaviors. It’s the middle. By definition, that middle point is different than all the other points around it. So the norm is really just a single aspect of the whole. That means we cannot possibly all be “normal.” And, why would we want to be carbon copies of anyone else? How utterly dull the world would be. Imagine going to a portrait gallery in a big art museum and walking down rows and rows of paintings that were all identical. Normal isn’t possible. Even that one middle point is different than all the other points. Even “normal” is abnormal, unique, different. So the absurd notion that we must be normal is, well, absurd. Go out there this week and revel in your not so normal way of being. Surprise yourself. Laugh too loudly. Try something new. Be pleased with yourself. You are gloriously not at all normal.

Strong Enough to Pick Up the Pieces

Saturday, July 18th, 2015

She never imagined she'd be strong enough to pick up the pieces and build something new. But she did, and she was proud of herself. - Queenisms™

She never imagined she’d be strong enough to pick up the pieces and build something new. But she did, and she was proud of herself. – Queenisms™

It’s hard to remember how strong we are when we’re on the ground looking up, with mud on our faces, boot prints on our shirts and voices in our heads telling us otherwise. But if you are reading this now, we know you’ve likely struggled, fallen and gotten back up. You’ve been disappointed in a way that makes your heart ache. You’ve been so afraid you didn’t know if you could try. You’ve been lost and felt hopeless. But your strength made you try again, get up, wash your shirt, banish those doubtful voice and show up in your own life. That, dear queens, is real strength. You’re remarkable. And you have everything within you – right now – to move forward and make something new. You may not have a clear vision right now of what that is, but that’s ok too. You have the strength to emerge and you have the ability to choose. There is joy ahead and we’ll hold a place on that path for you until you get here.

Approve of Yourself

Friday, July 17th, 2015

She was happy about herself just the way she was. She needed no one else's approval. - Queenisms™

She was happy about herself just the way she was. She needed no one else’s approval. – Queenisms™

We trust you. We believe you know exactly what you really like about yourself. We think no amount of input from other people would make you “better.” We’d like you to trust yourselves. We think that in your heart you already know what you should and shouldn’t do. You know what lights you up from the inside. You know what is worthwhile. You know where your own path is located. Now tell your feet. Stop asking for directions. Head to your own true north. You don’t need anyone’s approval but your own. Approve of yourself and your dreams.

Do not “Tone it Down”

Thursday, July 16th, 2015

"Humpf," she thought, "why on earth would I want to tone it down?" Happily, she was disinclined to do so. - Queenisms™

Humpf,” she thought, “why on earth would I want to tone it down?” Happily, she was disinclined to do so. – Queenisms™

We don’t know about you but we’ve been told to “tone it down” a time or two in our lives. But what the heck does that mean? Usually it means someone feels as though you’re standing out too much, taking too much focus, shining brighter than those around you or drawing attention to yourself in some way that makes other people a little nervous. For everyone who has ever been told to “tone it down,” we’d like to say that this is your time to shine. Dare to be your wild, over the top, excited, happy, joyful, silly, funny, colorful selves. We beg you. This world is not meant to be bland. It is meant to take our breath away, surprise us, inspire us, lift us up so we imagine our best selves and so much more. Remember the Sunday school admonishment, “don’t hide your light under a bushel?” Well, don’t tone it down. Please. If you’ve ever been told to “tone it down,” “dial it back,” or any other such nonsense, we’re begging you to turn it up, step out from behind the shadows and dare to shine.

Be a Model of Joy

Wednesday, July 15th, 2015

She wasn't a super model but she was a model for how to lead a joyful life. - Queenisms™

She wasn’t a super model but she was a model for how to lead a joyful life. – Queenisms™

Super models dominate the pages of magazines and their lives seem to be the focus of those celebrity “news” programs but in our opinion the real super models rarely make headlines. They’re the people who live their lives in a way that creates joy for themselves and those around them. They talk with people instead of talking at them. They listen as much as they speak. They value their choices as important enough to ponder rather than submitting to the urgency of others. They live purposefully, passionately and with the expectation of joy. Those people are modeling the life we’re all meant to live. Real joy doesn’t come from something. It comes from us. It’s in us. We just need to choose it and model it to others – like a true supermodel.

Courage is Made of Tiny Steps

Tuesday, July 14th, 2015

She was frightened most every day but she had the courage to walk through it one tiny step at a time. She had decided to no longer be the victim of her own fear. - Queenisms™

She was frightened most every day but she had the courage to walk through it one tiny step at a time. She had decided to no longer be the victim of her own fear. – Queenisms™

That’s right. We said victim. When we let fear keep us from doing the very things we dream of doing, we’re contracting and not expanding our worlds. We’re allowing fear to keep us hostage and denying that our thoughts and longings are valid. So how do we combat fear? We take tiny steps in the direction our heart is pointing us. To us, that’s the stuff of courage.

Banish Claptrap and Hogwash

Monday, July 13th, 2015

She made the brilliant decision not to let claptrap or hogwash dictate how she felt about herself. - Queenisms™

She made the brilliant decision not to let claptrap or hogwash dictate how she felt about herself. – Queenisms™

The drama and pure drivel the swirls around us on a daily basis is something we can generally leave behind us. We often talk about happiness as a choice and in most cases, we still believe that is true. No one feels happy or joyful 100% of the time. Stuff happens. We are hurt, disappointed, in pain, struggling and there are days a good cry is called for. BUT, overall, we can choose to leave rumors, gossip, other people’s fears, unfounded worry and imagined insult behind. We can’t always choose what comes our way. But we can always choose how we engage with it and how we respond to it.

Live Life with Gusto

Sunday, July 12th, 2015

In a moment of white hot clarity, she realized it was her time to shine. And so she did - with gusto. - Queenisms™

In a moment of white hot clarity, she realized it was her time to shine. And so she did – with gusto. – Queenisms™

If you’re like us, you’ve spent a great deal of your life helping children, organizations, bosses, partners or someone else shine. Sometimes you’ve done so at the expense of your own luster. Here’s the thing. We believe your sparkle is a key ingredient in a beautiful world. Without your shine, there’s a dark spot that cannot be lighted by anyone or anything else. It’s time to step up a let your gifts, talents, ideas, smile, and love shine. We’re counting on you to be a bright light in the world.

Kind and Tough as Nails

Saturday, July 11th, 2015

She was as kind as could be, and as tough as nails. She liked that about herself. - Queenisms™

She was as kind as could be, and as tough as nails. She liked that about herself. – Queenisms™

Being tough and setting strong boundaries does not mean we need to leave bodies in our wake. We can be kind and tough. In fact, we believe they must go together. When we say what we mean and mean what we say and stick to our word, we’re being tough. We don’t have to crush someone in our path in order to state our needs, thoughts or intentions. We just need to be clear. Be tough as nails – and be kind.