Fear is a thief. When we give in to the fear of change, we are trapped in a state of anxiety. Change happens. We have no control over that fact. The only thing we can control is how we respond to change. When we put one foot in front of the other and act in our best interests, despite being afraid, that, dear Queens is courage. Be courageous.
Posts Tagged ‘Queenisms’
You are a woman of many talents and you have excellent taste in books. ~ Queen Kathy and Queen Cindy
We want to thank every woman (and man) in this community for your continued encouragement and support. When you comment, share, pin and like our work, you give us that jolt of inspiration to keep writing. Thank you. And, if you’d like to share our book with others who might also need encouragement, here’s the link. http://amzn.to/1rwb5Gf
Negativity will come into our lives. We’re human. But when we hold onto it, it festers and infects us with fear. Allow yourself to be a passageway for negativity to flow in, be acknowledged and quickly move on. We sometimes even speak to the negativity. For example:
“This seems to be a particularly harsh criticism that I was not expecting. I’ve examined my actions but I don’t see a reason for this attack. I find it interesting and it’s possible the person attacking me is frightened, jealous, hurt or something else. In any event, no good comes from me holding onto this hurtful feeling. I release it and wish them well. I step past this moment and open my heart to the next, more positive experience.”
Might sound a little hokey or new-age speak, but let us tell you, it works IF you really let it go. If you have trouble, keep trying new ways to banish the negativity.
- Put it in a shopping bag and throw it in the trash.
- Write it on a piece of paper and burn it.
- Pretend to put it in a bubble and blow it away.
- Bury it in the garden.
- Drown it in the bathtub.
How would you release negativity?
Many of us have experienced that feeling of being different and wishing we weren’t. Isn’t it time that we celebrated the fact that we are NOT the same. How boring would it be if face after face were exactly alike and personality after personality fell in lockstep with one another. We’d have no music, art or literature. We’d be living in a Stepford style community. There would be no point in thinking outside the box. How utterly scarey. That, to us, is a horror film script if we ever heard one. It is exactly because you do not fit in that you are marvelous. So step up and tell us why you’re “different” so we can cheer for you. You are uniquely you and that’s the way we like it.
It can be exhausting trying to monitor the thoughts and actions of everyone around us. We’ve got a checklist in our heads of how they should act, when they should help, how they should know when to back off and what they should think. But, of course, the truth is we have no control – WHATSOEVER – over anything they think, do or say. If you’ve raised children, you’ll be aware of the moment you realized they had independent thoughts and later on, realized they were making choices without us. This is the natural way of things in parenting and it’s a good reminder that people are independent of one another even as we crave community with one another. When we lash ourselves to someone we want to change or control, we’re conversely putting our own needs and desires aside to focus on the person we want to change. This, in our humble opinion, is not a good use of our time and will lead to a feeling of having failed. Focusing on ourselves, our passions, our joys and our hopes will give us a far better outcome and a little clarity on the futility of playing on a playground filled with bullies or naysayers when there’s another lovely playground right around the corner. Play more, Queens, with people who enjoy your company.
It seems to us that self-love must form the basis for a life lived with integrity and kindness for how can we love others if we loath ourselves. Each of us needs to do the work required to forgive ourselves for perceived errors, flaws and past actions and come to a place in which we can hold ourselves in high regard. It is from that place we can look around and notice the good qualities in others, forgive their minor flaws, discern which people we want to invite into our inner circle of friendship and which ones we should just smile and let walk away so they can find their own authentic circle of friends. Are you with us? Forgiveness is mandatory; not easy but mandatory.
A curious mind is a thing of beauty. You know we harp all the time on the fact that life is a journey. Well that journey takes us to many places. Some of those places have views from the mountaintop that are breathtaking, but some of those places are at the bottom of a deep, dark pit. We have to take the good with the bad. Nobody, and let us repeat this for clarity, nobody has a perfect life. Everyone will experience ups and downs. You do not hold the franchise on this. You are also not alone. Every woman you meet is carrying a burden, seen or unseen. “Well that doesn’t help me at all,” you might be thinking, and you’d be right. When we’re in the pits, we can’t help but feel down. But tap into that curiosity and see what happens. Your conversation with yourself might go something like this:
Gumption implies that a woman has the courage and the mindset to do what needs to be done. Grace is the art of doing it without taking prisoners. We love the word gumption. To us it implies that a woman had courage or at the very least, a mindset to “get ‘er done,” even if the task wasn’t easy. The act of putting one foot in front of the other and doing what must be done is, to us, one of a woman’s most desirable qualities. Now we’re not chastising you if there is an occasional day when you “just can’t.” We’re applauding you for the hundreds of days each year when you do it anyway, even though you’d rather go back to bed. We hope you can hear the applause because we think you’ve got gumption. Now, the grace part? We have to work on that daily. It’s easy for “poor me” thinking to creep in and we’re kicking it to the curb today. How about you?