Queen of Your Own Life by Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff

Queen of Your Own Life is an attitude, a way of life and a call to action for grown up women everywhere.

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Queen of Your Own Life

Posts Tagged ‘Queenisms’

Be Queen – If Not Now, When?

Tuesday, March 31st, 2015

Be the Queen of Your Own Life. If Not Now, When?

We wanted to show you the cover of our brand new book. It’s a small hardcover gift book and it’ll be out this fall in time for the holiday season. We think it would look lovely in a stocking or in a festive gift bag. We’re bragging a little here because we’re so darned excited by how it turned out and it never would have happened if it hadn’t been for you all. Your positive feedback and comments have helped us evolve our images and messages to the “voice” we now use. You’ve helped us see that the little inspirational notes we write for one another (and ourselves) also speak to you. And for that we’re eternally grateful. So thank you Queens. Stay tuned. We’ll post information on where to buy the book once it’s up on sales sites at Barnes & Noble and Amazon or wherever else it will be available.

Ditch Regret and Be Flashy

Tuesday, March 31st, 2015

If she'd known then what she knew now, she'd have worn the dangling earrings her friends all said were just a little flashy. - Queenisms™

If she’d known then what she knew now, she’d have worn the dangling earrings her friends all said were just a little flashy. – Queenisms™

When we found this wonderful photo at an antique shop, we fell in love with this unknown woman. We image her looking back at her proper picture and thinking “I wanted to blend in so much, I was almost invisible.” Now the truth is we have no idea what she was thinking. This is how we write our Queenisms every day. We look at the women in our photos and we wonder what they’re thinking, what lessons they’d impart to us or what they might wish for. And we think this lovely lady was long to burst out, show her personality and shine. Most likely we’re channeling our own inner needs here. So for today, we’re donning dangling earrings that are way to flashy for women of a certain age. And we’re giggling while we do so. How about you? What will you do to shake it up and dare to be flashy? Please don’t try to fit in so much that you become invisible. The flashy bits make us so much more interesting.

You’ve got it so flaunt it

Monday, March 30th, 2015

She had it, she'd earned it and she was definitely going to flaunt it. She was the glorious sum of her life's experiences. - Queenisms™

She had it, she’d earned it and she was definitely going to flaunt it. She was the glorious sum of her life’s experiences. – Queenisms™

We think you’re pretty spectacular, Queens. And while not everyone owns a stunning feather hat with jewels, we think your gifts, talents and personality are the glitter that shines through. Everything that happens to us in life contributes to the sum of who we are today. And while we might have chosen to skip some of those experiences, they were all building blocks – strong and true. So we say flaunt it. You’ve earned it.

Your Time is Now

Sunday, March 29th, 2015

She had waited long enough. Her time was now. All she had to do was say, "Yes." - Queenisms™

She had waited long enough. Her time was now. All she had to do was say, “Yes.” – Queenisms™

The truth is that whatever your age, your time is now. When you’re in your twenties, your time is now. You have the opportunity to take risks, make choices, change your mind, try again, laugh out loud and so much more. In your sixties all those choices still exist. We sometimes fall into the mistaken belief that we’re too old to try something new or that daring to be adventurous will rock the boat and make others uncomfortable. Well tough. What if you’d been concerned that learning to walk would be too disruptive to a baby or that learning to drive a car would be too adventurous for a young teen? Your whole family would be sitting in your house now, waiting for you to do everything for them. You had the courage to push others to take leaps of faith and stand on their own. Isn’t it time to do the same for whatever secret longing fills your own heart? This past year, we wanted to learn to use PhotoShop so we could create even more detailed and beautiful Queenisms like this one with the vintage images we’ve been collecting for years. Let me tell you that was not an easy journey. But now, as our skill grow, we are positively thrilled to have acquired a new skill that helps us feel creative. And, we’re getting better and better if we do say so ourselves. It is never too late to try something new. Be a lifelong learner and more importantly be a lifelong dreamer.

To Be Liked More Love Yourself More

Saturday, March 28th, 2015

She wanted people to like her but she wanted to love herself more. - Queenisms™

She wanted people to like her but she wanted to love herself more. – Queenisms™

Let us ask you something. Pretend you’re at a large social gathering where you’re meeting people for the first time. Some of the people you meet are outgoing and interesting and you engage in a conversation that has some back and forth. You learn a bit about the other person and you move on to the next circle of people and repeat the process. You form opinions about the people based on a short interaction. Be honest. You can almost always tell, just from a small snippet of conversation whether or not the people you are talking to like themselves or not. People who don’t like themselves, in our opinions make snide remarks about others in an attempt to make themselves momentarily feel better or superior in a stressful situation like networking. They create a screen or a mask between you and their real personality because they don’t feel good enough about who they are to stand before you, honestly. And most often that little bit of defensive posturing is what makes you, consciously or unconsciously, walk away seeking different companions. Dare to be yourself. The people who “get” you are your people. Free up the others to find their “people.” Deal?

Peace and Calm

Friday, March 27th, 2015

She craved peace and calm so she treated herself to it. - Queenisms™

She craved peace and calm so she treated herself to it. – Queenisms™

Our theme this week seems to be simplicity. As those of you who read us regularly know, we write these inspirational messages for ourselves. This week we really needed to hear how we can choose to give ourselves the very thing we crave. No, we don’t mean chocolate cake. We mean peace and calm. We sometimes find ourselves spinning in our seats, running around like a chicken with our head cut off and fretting rather than living. So this week we want to remind ourselves that most of the spinning we’ve been doing is about deadlines we’ve imposed on ourselves, goals we wish would be accomplished faster, races we’d like to start at the finish line and other bits of nonsense. So we’re going to slow down, have another cup of herbal tea and chill out today. How about you? Is there something you’ve been doing that can really wait? Most likely, the choice is yours.

Hold the Mirror for Your Friends

Thursday, March 26th, 2015

She held a mirror so her friend could see the funny, smart, kind, courageous, and loving woman she truly was. And her friend did the same for her. - Queenisms™

She held a mirror so her friend could see the funny, smart, kind, courageous, and loving woman she truly was. And her friend did the same for her. – Queenisms™

Frequently we say “to have such a friend, be such a friend.” And people always say to us “I am but no one is that kind of friend to me.” Which really means “how, do I do this?” Our answer is simple. Stop thinking about what you’ll get in return and simply show up, be yourself and value your own friendship.

OK, we lied. Doing all that isn’t simple. It’s easy to slip into adding your own agenda to your “advice” to your friend. It’s easy to try to solve their problems rather than listen to them and ask our friend to tell us what they truly want – and then just listen. And finally, it’s easier to keep giving in a one sided relationship than to admit we’ve invested time and energy into a friendship that isn’t really a friendship. So this week we asking you to practice listening to your friend without giving advice, practice asking them to tell you what their heart is telling them and finally, practice asking yourself if they do the same for you. If they do, give them a hug, tell them how much their friendship means to you and celebrate.

Don’t Make Worrying Into a Hobby

Wednesday, March 25th, 2015

Her hobby was worrying. She decided to stop wasting her valuable time and just live. She could handle it all. - Queenisms™

Her hobby was worrying. She decided to stop wasting her valuable time and just live. She could handle it all. – Queenisms™

Queen Cindy comes from a long line of worriers. They fret, fuss, worry and in general spend a lot of time thinking about what might happen rather than what is happening. Luckily they have a sense of humor about this and are able to call each other on it when it happens – which it does, all the time! There is a difference, by the way, between planning and worrying. Planning is creating an action plan and knowing you’ve done the best you could to provide a map for yourself. Worrying is becoming imprisoned by your spinning thoughts. If you’ve inherited the worrying gene like Cindy, there are a couple of things you can do to stop wasting your time worrying and start spending more time living your life.

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Spring Cleaning Checklist for Happiness

Tuesday, March 24th, 2015

Here's your spring cleaning list from Queen of Your Own Life.

Spring is the perfect time to readjust our attitudes, take stock of our lives and do a little spring cleaning. Here’s what’s on our list this year. What’s on your spring cleaning list, Queens?

Surprise! You’re Enough

Tuesday, March 24th, 2015

She'd spent her whole life trying to lose weight, gain confidence or stay ahead of the competition. Imagine her surprise when she realized she was good enough - just the way she was! - Queenisms™

She’d spent her whole life trying to lose weight, gain confidence or stay ahead of the competition. Imagine her surprise when she realized she was good enough – just the way she was! – Queenisms™

We have to admit that we write these daily Queenisms for ourselves and we’re just pleased as punch when they speak to you as well. We still have moments of regret when we realize how long it took us to figure out we were enough – just the way we are. But that regret is now just a tiny moment and then we’re able to get on with it and enjoy who we are, who we’ve become and to see the possibilities of who we may be in the future. (more…)