Queen of Your Own Life by Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff

Queen of Your Own Life is an attitude, a way of life and a call to action for grown up women everywhere.

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Create Ripples

Thursday, November 26th, 2015

She had a plan for saving the world. She would share hope and joy with everyone she met and let the ripples move out far and wide. - Queenisms™

She had a plan for saving the world. She would share hope and joy with everyone she met and let the ripples move out far and wide. – Queenisms™

Everything you say and do creates ripples. Those ripples touch people far beyond your site. A harsh word to a store clerk sets a negative ripple in motion and later that person yells at their child out of a feeling of hurt and frustration they’ve been carrying all day. A kindness given with no reward – returning a lost item to someone who dropped it – leaves a person feeling lucky and blessed all day, and in turn more likely to pass that kindness on to someone else. You’re always creating ripples. Be conscious of the kind of ripples you create and those you receive. When you’re on the receiving end of anger, hurt, pain, or rudeness, know you can stop that ripple and start a new, more positive one. You are a powerful force in the world. Create ripples on purpose.

It’s Your Boat, FYI

Saturday, November 7th, 2015

Whenever she longed for calmer waters, she reminded herself it was her boat, her oars and her choice where she rowed. - Queenisms™

Whenever she longed for calmer waters, she reminded herself it was her boat, her oars and her choice where she rowed. – Queenisms™

Your oars, your boat, your choice – these are the things that we want you to notice about your journey this week. So many times we hear people say “it was out of my control,” and sometimes it seems that way. But you have hundreds of little choices to make every day. You choose to care for yourself, nurture yourself, associate with people who support and nurture you. You choose how you respond to life’s challenges. You choose to stand firm or walk away. You choose to look for smoother waters or to ride the rapids. Lots of things will happen around you over which you have no control. How you participate or not – that’s your choice.

The Pointlessness of Worry

Wednesday, August 19th, 2015

In her whole life, worry had never altered the outcome of any situation - and it had only made her more miserable. So she stopped, cold turkey. Smartest choice she ever made. - Queenisms™

In her whole life, worry had never altered the outcome of any situation – and it had only made her more miserable. So she stopped, cold turkey. Smartest choice she ever made. – Queenisms™

We’ve heard the phrase, “don’t borrow trouble.” Worry is like trouble. Nothing good comes from fretting about what might happen. Planning ahead is a good idea. Worrying ahead is not. When we obsessively keep our minds in the “what if” state, we’re missing the possibilities of the “now” state. Now is active and full of potential. “What if” is a state of immobilization. Let’s lead a more “active” life this week, Queens, focusing more on the “now” than the “what if.” Happiness is in direct opposition to worry. Worry is a habit and a choice we need to break in order to embrace happiness. How can we break ourselves of the worry habit? Try making a list of at least 3 things, every day, that are good in your life. Sometimes they will be, “I have a roof over my head right now.” And sometimes they might be “I have teeth to brush.” The practice of mindful happiness can train our brains to notice the good more than the bad and to default to the positive more often than the negative. Worry need not remain a habit that keeps you from taking any joy in the moment. Practice mindful happiness.

Mental Pat on the Back – Queenisms

Tuesday, October 8th, 2013

MENTAL PAT ON THE BACKIt’s positive language week here on Queen of Your Own Life. We might be harping on this idea but we feel it so important, we’re like a dog with a bone on this one. Waiting for validation from the outside world to tell us we’re good enough, smart enough, creative enough or whatever enough we need to hear is not necessary and sadly, can steal our happiness. Why postpone joy while we “wait in the hall” for someone to notice what a brilliant, beautiful, bright light we possess? We can flip that switch and shine all by ourselves.

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pat on the back for surviving, thriving and getting to this point in your life and then share the gift of your perfect presence with the world – and with yourself.

Negative Self Talk Be Gone – Queenisms

Monday, October 7th, 2013

Speak to herself in a positive wayIf we had to name just one change people could make that would have instant positive impact in their lives it would be to banish all negative self-talk from our vocabularies. The undermining messages we

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give ourselves, big and small, each day are not just thoughts. They’re weapons. How do we stop the madness? We did it by stopping, each time we catch ourselves, and insisting on rephrasing the statement. So “I’m so clumsy,” became “I will slow down and be more careful.” “I’m so stupid,” became “That’s something I did not know yet. I’m delighted to learn new things.” What can you rephrase to speak in more supportive language to yourself?

Time Out – Queenisms

Sunday, October 6th, 2013

Banish GuiltYou might notice we’ve got a little theme going this week on Queen of Your Own Life. We’re talking about creating a little me time and asking you to carve out moments in your day that are just for you. Most of us have spent a lifetime in service to others; our partners, our children, our parents, our colleagues, our church friends or whatever circle we’ve created for ourselves. That’s a good thing. But not to the exclusion of time for ourselves. Just as water seeks it’s own level, so does energy (highly unscientific personal opinion). We urge you to not fill every moment with doing but to have the courage to allow some moments to be “empty.” In the emptiness, don’t make any attempt to fill it with lists, thoughts, feelings or any agenda. Just let yourself be. This is a powerful 10 minute exercise and when repeated can be a way to recharge your personal battery. Try it. And we’d love to hear about your reactions.

Deer in the Headlights – Queenisms

Saturday, October 5th, 2013

Deer in the headlights We’ve all had that feeling of life

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rushing at us and we’re frozen like a deer in the headlights. We feel our pulse quicken and we’re unable to think. It feels terrible. One strategy that works for us is to push the pause button. Taking a 10 minute break and removing yourself, even just to the bathroom with a locked door, and focusing on your breathing, can break the rushing

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sensation. We make it a practice to give ourselves 10 minutes of calm every day. Some might call it meditation. We simply call it “Me Time.”

You Were A Wonderful Child – Queenisms

Friday, October 4th, 2013

wonderful childYou were a wonderful child, period. Children are perfect and it’s only time and experiences that change our perception of ourselves. There’s a wonderful exercise you can do right now, that will take very little time but can connect you

to the child you were and help you see yourself in a different light. Write yourself a note to younger you from you today. Tell that pure, innocent child that things will turn out all right. Help her see which of her innate traits will serve her well throughout her life. Encourage her. Help her see that her life will matter. Trust us. You won’t regret the time spent on a letter to you.

Permission Granted – Queenisms

Thursday, October 3rd, 2013

PermissionWhat would happen if you gave yourself permission? Permission

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to do what you might ask. What would happen if you gave yourself permission to ask yourself a question and sit quietly until you hear the answer from within. Ask yourself “what can I do to support you?” Ask yourself “what would make you happy?” Ask yourself “if not now, when?” Then wait. You already have the answers. You just needed to ask.

Judgment free – Queenisms

Wednesday, October 2nd, 2013

Tiired of being judgedThe space that other people’s opinions hold in our own heads crowds out the freedom to be ourselves. When we worry about pleasing everyone, we leave ourselves on the side of the road. What would you say or do if no one would judge you?