March 3rd, 2015
Romance Writers of America
Every year we choose a word to guide our year – something that helps us measure whether or not an opportunity or an experience or even a decision is worth doing. In the past we’ve chosen:
and this year, we’ve found that there are so many words we want to use as our guiding light that we’re having trouble narrowing it down. We’re wondering, dear queens, if you’d help us brainstorm. This picture of us at the Romance Writers of America conference in San Antonio, TX this past summer makes us smile because it embodies something very special to us. We love writing, writers and books. Cindy was the keynote speaker at a session at RWA and Kathy came down to support her. We both enjoyed the writing sessions and the amazing support romance writers give to one another throughout the year.
If you could choose one word to guide you throughout the coming year, what would that word be?
March 3rd, 2015
What they saw in her was just the tip of the iceberg. She was much stronger and more resilient than anyone, including herself, gave her credit for being. – Queenisms™
When someone looks at you, they don’t see all the times you’ve stumbled, fallen, gotten back up and moved forward. They don’t see the moments you cried in pain or loneliness. They don’t see the days when fear held you in its grip. They don’t see the joy, sorrow, worry, hope or anything else – unless you show it to them. You are so much stronger and more resilient than anyone can see.
Remember than when you are about to judge someone else and make yourself see the resilience in others – because we’re all more alike than we are different. We repeat – we are all more alike than we are different. Remember that when you find yourself sitting in judgment of someone else.
March 3rd, 2015
She bought herself flowers for no darned good reason – except they were beautiful and she deserved more beauty in her life. – Queenisms™
When is the last time you bought yourself flowers? We’re not asking when is the last time you wanted to or thought about buying yourself flowers. We’re asking when is the last time you actually plopped down some money and bought yourself flowers.
Here’s why we’re asking. Flowers are one of those completely unnecessary, totally optional things in life. They make nearly everyone smile. They can be purchased for a very small amount of money (we recently bought a lovely bouquet at a local grocery store for $2.99) and yet somehow we don’t often buy them for ourselves. We think flowers represent a mindset of either waiting for someone else to give us something that makes us happy or thinking that making ourselves happy is frivolous. We’d like to challenge you to do something this week. Buy yourself flowers and then write yourself a thank you note. And, please let us know how you felt. We’d love to see pictures of your flowers or a copy of your thank you note either here or on our Facebook page. Let’s do something very nice for someone this week – ourselves.
March 1st, 2015
She woke up feeling sassy. So she decided to go with it. – Queenisms™
Every now and then we wake up feeling sassy. We bounce out of bed, pleased as punch with what we accomplished the day before or what we have planned for today. We wear a smile on our faces all day long and people look at us as though they’re wondering “what’s her secret?”
Wouldn’t it be terrific if that feeling didn’t happen “once in a while,” but was our default mode every single day? Well, the truth is that it can be. Our attitude is our choice. Try this exercise. When you wake up, force yourself to stay in bed a moment longer. Quiet your mind and ditch the “to do” list we know is already running in your head. Now whisper to yourself “I’m feeling sassy today because . . .” and fill in the blank. Then go ahead and get on with your day, keeping in mind that you are sassy. If that pep in your step wavers, try rebooting and giving yourself a tiny, quiet moment to repeat “I’m feeling sassy today because . . .”
Science tells us it’s possible to retrain our brain. We always knew that, even without the evidence. We don’t always get to choose our circumstances, but we always get to choose our attitude. Let’s retrain our brains this week and project a little more “sassy” into the world, shall we?
February 28th, 2015
She had no idea how it would all turn out. But she had the gumption to show up and figure it out. She liked that about herself. – Queenisms™
We were talking the other day about all the amazing things that have happened to us in our lives and talk, naturally, turned to all the hellish, stressful and painful things that have also happened and we asked one another this question. If you’d known then what you know now, would you have shown up? For us the answer was yes. Even the painful moments in our life have, in hindsight, been valuable in terms of forging the women we have become today. Kathy shares, in our book, how her father’s death when she was just a young teenage girl, was painful and left her and her mother feeling vulnerable but how from that came the social security benefits that helped her go to college – something she would not have been able to afford otherwise. Now, would she rather have had her father in her life longer? Absolutely. But in hindsight, something good came from something painful and so she’s learned to look at everything not through a good versus bad lens but through the lens of experience.
Did you ever have something bad happen to you that in hindsight turned out to open a door, lead you down a new path or reveal something important to you?
February 27th, 2015
If she only knew how many people thought of her every day, with love and wished her well, she would never feel alone again. – Queenisms™
When we posted this Queenism on our Facebook page, we were shocked at how many women wrote “If only . . .”. We’re wondering if the pervasive feeling that we are alone or that others don’t think highly of us is really all about not thinking highly of ourselves? Or is it because we’ve learned, throughout our lives, that saying good things about ourselves or even daring to think them, might be selfish or even conceited.
We’re here to tell you, without any doubt, that there are people in the world who wish you well and think highly of you – for example, us. This exercise also made us realize how important it is to tell the people in our lives how important they are to us and how much they mean to us. No one is a mind reader. Life is short. Don’t wait. Tell someone today that they matter and that you think of them, with love, often. Can you do that for us.
February 25th, 2015
Sometimes her fears made her want to curl up in her pajamas and pull the quilt over her head. Then she remembered that she was the Queen of her own life and she had choices. So she decided to get up, get dressed and go out into the world to be a source of light and love for everyone and especially herself. – Queenisms™
We’re not saying you can’t make an impact on the world in your PJ’s. Queen Cindy does it every day (sorry to out you as someone who works in her PJ’s Cindy). BUT, if you want to be a source of light and love in the world, we’d like to suggest that occasionally, you need to get dressed and get out there where you can speak to people, face to face. There’s something about getting dressed, maybe even putting on a bright shade of lipstick, combing our hair and walking out the front door that is a physical declaration to the world that we’re ready to make a difference. It’s possible to do that on skype from home or even on the phone, too, if leaving home is physically hard for you. It’s the “intention” we’re speaking of, here. Intending to go out into the world and be a source of goodness is powerful stuff. Did you come out from under the covers today?
Here’s a little experiment we’d love your help with – blogging is lonely work. We adore hearing from you. It means the world to us. Can you take a moment and leave a comment below, send us a photo from your day or even say hi on Facebook or Twitter? When we participate in conversation with one another, we’re amplifying happy thoughts, good wishes and pushes all the negative messages we see and hear every day further away from our consciousness. We’d love to see, hear, or read something from you, dear Queens.
February 24th, 2015
We love seeing what speaks to you from our website. So every week we check our Pinterest account to see which inspirational or motivational posts have been pinned or repinned the most. It helps us get to know you all better and let’s face it, we love getting lost on Pinterest, roaming around and seeing what others are creating as well. We were surprised but also delighted to see that this Queenism from July 2014 was the most Pinned from our website this week.
So this week’s Top Pin of the Week was:
We think every woman we know is brave and courageous in the way she lives her daily life but we know many women who would never acknowledge their courage. We like to say, “Bravery isn’t just for policemen and firemen, it’s also in the woman who gets up everyday, puts one foot in front of the other and shows up for her life – no matter what.” Our question this week is are you able to see your own courageous self?
Are you on Pinterest? We’d love to connect with you there as well at http://Pinterest.com/QueenofOwnLife.
February 24th, 2015
She made the decision to stop feeling trapped by her choices. She had the ability to make new choices and she was going to practice that skill until she was an expert at it. – Queenisms™
You didn’t learn to ride a bike by just hopping on and riding off into the sunset. You practiced. You fell and you got back up and tried again. You were motivated to succeed because riding a bike exhilarating. Most likely you were scared but you tried anyway. That’s what making new choices is like. It’s scary. You’ll fall. And, you’ll need to practice. But the exhilarating feeling you’ll get from learning what you can accomplish when you practice – priceless. Every skill worth achieving takes practice, from bike riding to piano playing to conscious decision making. What new choices will you practice making this week?
February 23rd, 2015
She finally saw and accepted her own worth. What a blissful day. – Queenisms™
We don’t know about you, but we can tell you we spent an awful lot of time in our lives not believing in our own worth. Whether that meant accepting less money for a job or accepting less in a relationship, the cost of not understanding your own worth is devastating. As younger women we got caught up in the notion that we had to reach a certain level of success in order to be worthy of even our own admiration. And ironically, the more successful we got the more we realized we’d been worthy all along. It wasn’t that we became more worthy, it was that we became more aware. If we could go back in time and talk to younger Kathy and Cindy, we might sound a little like Cher in Moonstruck. “Snap out of it,” we’d say to our younger selves.
You are all possessed of worth. You always have been. Nothing you can do changes that. You are an infinite possibility and the starter button on that possibility is choice. You have to choose to see your own innate worth and you have to choose to value yourself as what you are – priceless.