Queen of Your Own Life by Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff

Queen of Your Own Life is an attitude, a way of life and a call to action for grown up women everywhere.

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Queen of Your Own Life

Imposter Syndrome

December 16th, 2014

All rights reserved. Cindy Ratzlaff and Kathy Kinney blog and write books about claiming happiness in midlife at http://QueenofYourOwnLife.com. All of their affirmations and digital art are original, trademarked and copyright protected.

She had a classic case of imposter syndrome, spending endless hours worrying someone would discover she was not good enough, smart enough or any other “enough.” When she realized being
her true self was the one thing no one else could be, she finally understood she was GOOD ENOUGH! – Queenisms™

We know this one hits home for many of us. We spoke to a group of 2,000 women at the Massachusetts Conference for Women in Boston two weeks ago and asked for a show of hands for everyone who felt this way at one time or another. Nearly every hand in the room went up. You are not alone and together we can fight this.Even the most accomplished woman can slip into the fear that someone will figure out that she doesn’t know everything. Well, guess what? Nobody knows everything. But as lifelong learners we have the ability to continue to gather new skills, passions, talents and experiences and right here, right now, you are enough.

We’re here to tell you that you are enough and you’ve always been enough and you always will be.

The Queen Facebook Community is Exploding!

December 16th, 2014

Queen of Your Own Life has a vibrant, engaged and very large Facebook page and we invite you to join us at http://Facebook.com/QueenofYourOwnLife

We’d like to say thank you, 300,000 times as our Facebook page hits this wonderful milestone. We show up every day because you show up every day. You inspire, uplift and nourish our creative selves with your courage, comments, shares, likes and your stories. Thank you! – Queen Kathy and Queen Cindy

Give the Gift of Taking Care of Yourself

December 15th, 2014

Give the Gift of Taking Care of Yourself is an original, trademarked digital art piece and writing by authors Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff. http://QueenofYourOwnLife.com

She was the one in charge of making herself happy. Once she got over the uncomfortable feeling of putting herself first, she realized what a gift it was to herself and everyone around her. – Queenisms™

When we’ve slipped into the habit of putting everyone and everything before our own happiness, it can be uncomfortable to change the rules. Those who’ve been on the top of our list might not be pleased to moved to the side or down a notch. That doesn’t mean they’ll be forgotten or neglected. It just means we’ll be refreshed, renewed and revived because we took time to sleep, eat, shower, rest and nurture our creative selves so we could show up, with love and without resentment, to do support and love others. It may take patience and practice as we teach others not to be threatened by our new philosophy to put ourselves on our own list. But we promise you that with consistency and practice, those who matter will come around. Practice these phrases that help us:

  • I will check my schedule and get back to you.
  • I’m going to have to pass this time but I love you and just know you’ll be able to take care of it without me.
  • I’m busy today but let’s put something on our calendars soon, shall we?
  • No.

Is there a phrase that helps you carve out time for yourself?

How Dull Sameness Would Be

December 14th, 2014

How Dull She Thought is an original, trademarked digital art piece and writing by authors Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff. http://QueenofYourOwnLife.com

How dull the world would be, she thought, if we were all the same. She decided to celebrate every strange, wonderful, funny and marvelously quirky trait in herself and each of her friends. Let the party begin! ~ Queenisms™

Look around you and notice the quirky, odd, strange, funny and wonderful differences in your friends and family members. Wouldn’t it be a dull life if they were all the same? Yes, sometimes those eccentricities drive us mad, but oh the richness they give to our lives. Let’s celebrate those differences throughout the year by saying to ourselves “Oh that wacky friend/family member is such a quirky person. What an interesting life I have.”

Make the Smart Choice

December 12th, 2014

Make the Smart Choice is an original, trademarked digital art piece and writing by authors Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff. http://QueenofYourOwnLife.com

She wanted to be able to let negativity pass right through her and only hang on to the goodness and joy in life. So she decided to begin the practice of positive thought. It was her choice and she was smart enough to make it. – Queenisms™

Negative behaviors, thoughts and attitudes from others have a way of triggering a reaction from us like nothing else. We can be plunged into despair or set off on a rant when someone is rude, hurtful or inconsiderate. We don’t have any control over their behaviors but we do have control over our own. We can walk away, change our environment, let it pass, forgive or countless other possibilities. When we let a a passing negative message into our hearts to stir up hurt or anger, we amplify it. When we notice it, step aside and let it pass us by, we do not give it power. We know – easier said than done. But just like riding a bike, you can learn to pause, reflect and reject negativity.

Write Yourself a Note

December 7th, 2014

Write Yourself a Note is an original, trademarked digital art piece and writing by authors Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff. http://QueenofYourOwnLife.com

She wrote herself a note and tucked it into her pocket to pull out whenever she needed it most. It read: Dear Me, That thing you’ve been dreaming about doing . . . do it! You are worth the risk. Love, Me. ~ Queenisms™

Such a simple thing but so powerful. Dare to write yourself a note and tell us what your note would say. The act of naming it can help you claim it. Happiness is a practice. Please practice today.

Saying No Will Not Destroy You

December 4th, 2014

She Smiled to Herself is an original, trademarked digital art piece and writing by authors Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff. http://QueenofYourOwnLife.comShe smiled politely and simply said, “I’m sorry. I can’ this time.” The ground did not swallow her up. And she smiled and thought, “note to self.” ~ Queenisms™

It can be uncomfortable when we go from being a serial yes sayer to setting some boundaries with others. This can be especially challenging when the boundaries we’re trying to set are with our families and closest friends. Why? Because we already set up an expectation of being “all things to all people,” and when we change the rules and start taking care of ourselves, we can put others on the defensive. Changing the rules might take a little extra gentle persuasion to get everyone on board. One idea is to sit the boundary crosser down and honestly say “Because you’re my dear friend, I wanted you to be the first to know I’ve decided to take a big step toward taking better care of myself. I have always looked to you for support and I hope I can count on you this time too. I’m going to be very conscious of my time going forward so I don’t get overwhelmed and overworked. I’m going to be telling people, honestly, if I need to say no. It’s hard for me but I need to do this. Can I count on you to back me up?”

If you’re trying to set boundaries with friends and loved ones, we’d love to hear your experiences. Let share and help one another.

Create the Life You Want

December 3rd, 2014

Create the Life You Want is an original, trademarked digital art piece and writing by authors Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff. http://QueenofYourOwnLife.com

She was afraid it was too late to do the things she had promised herself she would accomplish in life. Then she remembered, “You don’t have to be twenty-one to have your whole life ahead of you.” There was still plenty of time to create the life she had always wanted to live. – Queenisms™

If you woke up today, you have your whole life ahead of you. There is no better time, no easier time, no simpler time than this moment, for you to ask yourself “what do I want?” and “what would make me happy?” If we don’t ask, we won’t know.

Once we know what it is that would truly make us happy, we can get about the business of creating the life we want. But if we allow ourselves to live in that vague feeling of mild unhappiness (or deeper unhappiness) without taking a moment each day to try to get to the root of what would make us happy, then we’re participating in holding ourselves captive to unhappiness. That’s right. We’re saying you have to participate in creating happiness for yourself. It will not knock on your door. You have to open the door, put a sign out front, stand on the corner and invite it in.  Are you ready?  Start by telling us what would make you happy. And don’t say money or things. Tell us something deeper. Stretch yourself. Ask the question. Dare to listen to your own answer.

Sick and Tired of Being Afraid | Queenisms

December 1st, 2014

Sick and Tired of Being Afraid is an original, trademarked digital art piece and writing by authors Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff. http://QueenofYourOwnLife.com

She was sick and tired of being afraid. So every time she showered she imagined the water was washing away all of her fears, literally dissolving them, leaving her feeling energized, vibrant and strong. – Queenisms™

Our imaginations are powerful healing tools. We can use them to scare the heck out of ourselves, which is usually manifested as worry, or we can use them to calm, relax, inspire and help us move from stress to a state of confidence. We love this exercise and use it often. Add your own twist and imagine the water being a color, if that helps. Cindy likes purple and Kathy likes to image the water being golden and filled with light. Some people respond better to sound. You can imagine the drops of water singing to you or you can sing yourself. Singing in the shower is a wonderful way to shake off stress. Is there something you do that helps you visualize releasing fear? Let’s share our stories and share our strength.

Enjoying Your Own Company

November 30th, 2014

All rights reserved. Cindy Ratzlaff and Kathy Kinney blog and write books about claiming happiness in midlife at http://QueenofYourOwnLife.com. All of their affirmations and digital art are original, trademarked and copyright protected.

She spent the day enjoying her own company. And, she promised to make a date with herself more often. – Queenisms™

When is the last time you spent the day with yourself doing not what you “should” do, but what you wanted to do? Hmmm? Learning to enjoy your own company is one of the primary pillars of claiming happiness. And, surprisingly, you might be out of practice. We suspect if you’re anything like us, you’ve got a “to do” list a mile long, not enough time and “you time” is the first victim of a rushed, stressed life. Besides, it seems so wrong to do just what we want when there are SO many other people, places and things tugging at us for attention. But here’s the deal. We talk, every day, about setting boundaries, practicing happiness, treating ourselves with respect, and building a support system but what’s the point if we don’t know how to spend quality time with ourselves? Promise us you’ll take an hour, a half day or even, gasp, a full day to do something wonderful with yourself and no one else. What will you do? Inquiring minds want to know :)