October 7th, 2014
She knew how to forgive and yet she knew how to set a strong boundary. She was nobody’s fool and everyone respected her. ~ Queenisms™
Forgiveness is an important concept in claiming happiness. When we harbor ill feelings, we harm ourselves far more than we harm anyone else. Letting go of hurt, pain, anger or disappointment allows us to move forward in our own lives. But it does not mean we must forget. There’s a popular saying. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” If someone has demonstrated they cannot be trusted and we are not safe with them, we can forgive but move on. If someone has no desire to modify their behavior, we can forgive and move on. If someone is not capable of a supportive, loving relationship, we can forgive and move on. And if someone is simply in the beginning of their learning curve about being a loving, kind, caring and supportive person, we can forgive and linger, giving more than we get as we hold out a hand to help them up.
The balancing act of discerning whether to stay or to go in any relationship is tricky. Do you have a way of deciding how long to hold out the life preserver in a relationship?
Photo: Cindy Ratzlaff’s beautiful mom, Patricia Ratzlaff.
October 6th, 2014
Deep down inside she knew that the choice was hers – so she chose happiness. ~ Queenisms™
Yes, it’s an over simplification to say “choose happiness” and all will be well. Happiness is a practice. And just like anything we want to master, happiness must be practiced daily. We find ourselves using several methods to practice happiness. Every day we ask ourselves two questions:
1. What attributes or gifts do I have that have served me well in my life that I want to nurture and keep?
2. What no longer serves me that I want to banish?
These two questions help us focus on the things that make us happy and give us permission to remove those people, places, things and thoughts that no longer make us happy.
The act of asking ourselves these questions and making the time to sit quietly and ponder the answers has helped us keep happiness in the forefront of our lives. How about you? What do you want to keep and what do you want to banish? Deep down inside, you know.
October 5th, 2014
She stopped working so hard to blend in when she finally realized she’d been born to shine. ~ Queenisms™
You were not meant to blend in. Everything about you is unique. You have worth beyond compare. You are important. Your voice matters. Your presence in the world makes a difference. Please, oh please, have courage and show up in life. You matter. You were born to shine.
Photo: Flore Revalles, Library of Congress, Bain Collection
October 4th, 2014
She knew there were days when snazzy was the only word to describe how she wanted to feel. So she went for it with gusto so that both the effort and the results pleased her immensely. ~ Queenisms™
Don’t you just love the word “snazzy?” It makes us feel a little pep in our step. What does snazzy mean to you. Let’s all agree to use this word at least once a day this week, shall we? Words matter. Be snazzy.
October 3rd, 2014
She was brilliant at acting she could be everything to everyone. She decided to stop acting and just be herself – for herself. – Queenisms™
Here’s the truth as we see it. None of us can be everything to everyone without leaving someone behind – most often ourselves. We’re just not that powerful. That means we have to make conscious choices about our yeses and our nos.
We cannot be of assistance or support to others when we are depleted ourselves. Time to drop the act and be clear about what we can and cannot do. That’s the kindest, most supportive thing we can do for everyone.
October 2nd, 2014
On the outside, she was vacuuming, doing the dishes and cleaning the cat box. But on the inside she was incubating a million creative ideas so spectacular she was ready to explode like a fireworks show. ~ Queenisms™
We know you. You’ve got a million ideas and we suspect a lot of them are brilliant. You are ready to explode with creativity and we want to encourage you to dive in and let your creative self out to play. It’s time to go public with your brilliant self. Take our pledge. “I promise not to hide my light under a bushel any longer.”
October 1st, 2014
She decided to not allow anyone to say cruel and unkind things to her anymore and she would stop talking to herself that way as well. ~ Queenisms™
We would never allow anyone to speak to us the way we sometimes speak to ourselves. If you’ve ever said:
- I’m so stupid.
- I’m disgusting.
- I’m fat.
- I’m dumb.
- I’m lazy
or any variation of these, it’s time to put a halt to self-abusive language. Let’s start practicing right now. Tell us one thing about yourself using kind language. We’ll start. We try, every day, to uplift and support one another. Now you. Go!
September 30th, 2014
She was a woman of her word. She said yes when she meant yes and no when she meant no. Life was too short for fiddle- faddle. ~ Queenisms™
When we are clear about the words yes and no, we set ourselves up for less stress, more support and a cleaner, happier life. What do we mean? Think about the feeling in the pit of your stomach when you’ve agreed to do something you didn’t really want to do. The event approaches, you feel stress and ultimately you’re resentful of the person who asked you for the commitment. But your resentment is misplaced. You created the stress by not taking the time to fully ask yourself if this was something you could do, wanted to do and were willing to do. Don’t compound the time-crunching stress that affects us all by saying yes when you mean no and then holding others responsible for your anxiety. Practice saying no so that your yes has real value.
A misguided yes is fiddle-faddle.
September 30th, 2014
She vowed to remind herself, every day, that she was worth the effort it took to treat herself with respect. ~ Queenisms™
Will you take the vow? Most of us would say “well, of course I treat myself with respect.” But do we really? Do you find yourself uttering “I’m so clumsy, foolish, stupid, fat” or any other disparaging remark? Do you find yourself putting off important doctor visits because there is “just too much to do?” Do you put your own wishes at the end of a very long “to do” list? Treating ourselves with respect means caring for ourselves at least as well as we care for others. We often need a reminder that it’s not selfish to care for self. When we’re strong, healthy and fulfilled, we can be beacons of light and support for others. Vow to treat yourself well this week, won’t you? We’d love to hear what you’ll do to treat yourself with respect this week. We’ll start. We vow to make ourselves nourishing and healthy food that supports wellness. We’ll have that food in our refrigerators so that foods that don’t support wellness don’t call to us in the evenings. You?
September 29th, 2014
She knew she didn’t have to be 21 to have her whole life ahead of her. ~ Queenisms™
If you woke up today and are reading this now, your whole life is ahead of you. No matter your age, there are joyful adventures in your future. You are never done, until this life is over. Please do not put yourselves into a state of thinking where you believe the best is behind you. You can create happiness, even joy, at any point, simply by choosing to do so.
Woman at ages 60, 70, 80 and beyond have accomplished things we never dreamed possible. Every day, before your feet hit the ground, you choose how you’re going to approach the day. Practice adjusting your mental attitude. If your eyes pop open and you feel dread about the many things that are on your plate, pause. Don’t get out of bed until you can verbally list three things for which you are grateful. In the beginning, those things might be as basic as “I’m grateful I woke up, I’m grateful I had a bed to sleep in, I’m grateful for the desire to be grateful.” Soon you’ll find yourself going deeper into your gratitude list and willing and able to pause throughout the day to add to that list. Repeat this exercise at night. We guarantee you will begin to notice a shift in the way you view your options. Your whole life is ahead of you and we are looking forward to walking this part of your journey with you. What are you grateful for today?