Queen of Your Own Life by Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff

Queen of Your Own Life is an attitude, a way of life and a call to action for grown up women everywhere.

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Queen of Your Own Life

The Queen Calendar is a Bestseller!

September 1st, 2015

Queen Calendar tops bestseller charts

We just got word that the Queen of Your Own Life 2016 Calendar hit #1 on the Amazon Calendar bestseller list! We’re so extremely proud.

It is now on sale at Barnes & Noble and Amazon and soon to hit stores near you – wherever calendars are sold.

Calendars are an odd thing. They have a very short sales cycle. A certain number are printed and when they’re gone, they’re gone. So we urge you – if you plan to buy one for yourself or as a gift for friends – please do so soon to avoid disappointment. And we wouldn’t mind if you told 10,000 friends :)

Poppycock

September 1st, 2015

Whenever self-doubt whispered in her ear, she called it what it was. Poppycock. - Queenisms™

Whenever self-doubt whispered in her ear, she called it what it was. Poppycock. – Queenisms™

Don’t you just love the word Poppycock. It starts with a plosive and propels itself out into the world. When those nagging, and untrue thoughts come creeping into our minds, telling us we’re not enough, it’s time to let “poppycock” do it’s job and sweep away self doubt.

Language matters. When we give in to the language of self-doubt, we open the door for fear. Push it out with a great word and tell yourself and the world that you are a capable, strong, powerful woman and any thoughts to the contrary are, well, poppycock.

High Time To Shine

August 31st, 2015

One day she realized that she was the only one stopping her from being happy. She decided it was high time to get out of her own way. - Queenisms™

One day she realized that she was the only one stopping her from being happy. She decided it was high time to get out of her own way. – Queenisms™

Not only is it high time to step out of your own way and banish fear and doubt. But it is also high time to shine. There is a light inside of most of us that needs permission to reveal itself – your permission. Many of us have a hard time believing we’re full of light and possibility. Life may have presented so many detours, disappointments and rocky roads that we simply cannot see the biggest barrier of all – our own selves.

What do we fear? Leaving others behind if we move forward? Incurring the jealousy of others? Not being liked by everyone? Being seen trying and perhaps failing? There are so many things we might fear, but they pale in comparison to the fact that we deserve to pursue joy and joy is our natural state. Step aside doubt. It’s high time to get out of our own way. Joy is your natural state. It takes more energy to hide your hopes and dreams than to simply give them a go.

Ditching the Search for Perfection

August 30th, 2015

She was exhausted from trying to lead a perfect life. She decided to let go, relax and simply enjoy being alive. - Queenisms™

She was exhausted from trying to lead a perfect life. She decided to let go, relax and simply enjoy being alive. – Queenisms™

All that perfection is a LOT of work, and we’ve got a news flash for you. It’s not possible to succeed. Perfect is a myth that will drain the joy right out of your life. Imagine yourself simply giving up the pursuit and relaxing into this day. Phew! Doesn’t that feel good? Now, wouldn’t it be terrific if we could all get back into that state of enjoyment on a daily basis? Well, most likely we’ll backslide into the search for a “perfect” life but we can put ourselves back on the path to happiness by stopping, every single time we become aware of our perfectionism, and laughing out loud. We like to use a phrase like “there I go again. . .what a funny woman I am for thinking I can attain perfection. So glad I noticed so I can get back to living my perfectly imperfect life.” What would you say to yourself to stop the stress cycle? Let’s share some ideas for interrupting “perfection” thinking and replacing it with a joyful nudge toward real happiness.

Create Outburst of Joy

August 29th, 2015

She was given to sudden outbursts of laughter, sneak attacks of smiling and unexpected dancing for no reason. Because she practiced happiness daily. - Queenisms™ Photo: Sally Vittorio's Grandmother, Hattie McLeod

She was given to sudden outbursts of laughter, sneak attacks of smiling and unexpected dancing for no reason. Because she practiced happiness daily. – Queenisms™

We decided we want to catch whatever “she” has – and truth be told – so do most folks. When we practice happiness, consciously focusing on things that bring joy and noticing more of the good than the negative in life, we create an attraction that brings other like-minded folks into our circle. Think about it. When was the last time you thought to yourself “Hmmm, I sure would like to spend more time with that grumpy person who snarled at me at the grocery store.” But when we have an encounter with someone who is actively practicing happiness, there’s something about them that makes us want to linger, to participate in that happiness, to get to know them better. Let’s become magnetic. Let’s practice attracting more joyful, laughing, dancing, smiling, good deed doing folks into our lives this week by being exactly what it is we want to attract.

Photo: Sally Vittorio’s Grandmother, Hattie McLeod

Defeating the Big Fat Lie

August 28th, 2015

She decided to forgive herself for never believing she was enough. It had been a big, fat lie. - Queenisms™

She decided to forgive herself for never believing she was enough. It had been a big, fat lie. – Queenisms™

Next time you think to yourself, “I’m not good enough,” we want you to stop and say out loud, “Liar, liar, pants on fire.” Sounds silly, we know. But here’s the truth. Words matter. When we tell ourselves untruths, it affects us physically and emotionally. We’re engaging in a form of abuse, and we’re doing it to ourselves. Rescue yourself from the hands of this abuser and distance yourself from this kind of emotional manipulations. Then forgive yourself for ever having believed it in the first place.

How? With practice, patience and humor. Not as easy as it sounds, you say? You’re right. It’s not easy. Neither is any skill worth having. Did you ride a bike first time up? Did you sit down at a piano and play a concerto perfectly? Did you learn to walk but simply standing up? Do you beat yourself up because you didn’t speak at birth? No, because you know these life skills took practice. So does happiness and believing in yourself. Self-esteem is a practiced habit and anything to the contrary is a big, fat lie.

Courage and Change

August 25th, 2015

In spite of what anyone thought, she had the courage to make the necessary changes to be the woman she had always meant to be. - Queenisms™

In spite of what anyone thought, she had the courage to make the necessary changes to be the woman she had always meant to be. – Queenisms™

Change is hard. We humans hate change. We like knowing what is going on, even if we’re in situations that are less than optimal. We’d rather stay in an unsatisfactory job, relationship or physical location rather than muster up the courage to change because change means stepping out into something unknown. The perception that we can manage as is rather than trust that everything will work out in the unknown scenario keeps us from daring to take the risk to move toward making ourselves happy. The reason courage is lauded in poetry, prose and song is because we admire those who dare to change. Can you be one of those brave people who risk the unknown in order to create your own happiness? Yes, we believe you can.

Here’s the secret we’ve learned. Change is all around us, happening whether we choose it or not. So actively, purposefully choosing change and having the courage to move toward whatever brings you joy is, in fact, taking more of the risk out of the change that is occurring anyway and putting more control into your hands. Change happens. The courage to cause it to happen may just be the key to your happiness.

 

The Gift of Help

August 24th, 2015

She was always available to help others. Now it was time for her to discover how to let others help her. It was a gift that went both ways. - Queenisms™

She was always available to help others. Now it was time for her to discover how to let others help her. It was a gift that went both ways. – Queenisms™

Are you as comfortable receiving as you are giving? So many of us would bend over backwards for other people and yet, when the time comes that we could use help, it never occurs to us to ask for it. Is it that we’re afraid to be perceived as weak? Or is it because we don’t trust that the help would be there if we asked and we’re trying to protect ourselves from disappointment? We suspect for many, it is the later. Yet when we don’t allow others to be of service, to help us when we need it, we’re keeping intimate friendship at arms length. Having the courage to be vulnerable and ask for help can open up our hearts to a new level of relationship with friends. Now there may be times when we ask and we are disappointed. But we suspect there will be more times when the kindness of our inner circle will humble us and enrich our lives beyond imagination. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable enough to ask for help is an act of courage and of trust.

The Pointlessness of Worry

August 19th, 2015

In her whole life, worry had never altered the outcome of any situation - and it had only made her more miserable. So she stopped, cold turkey. Smartest choice she ever made. - Queenisms™

In her whole life, worry had never altered the outcome of any situation – and it had only made her more miserable. So she stopped, cold turkey. Smartest choice she ever made. – Queenisms™

We’ve heard the phrase, “don’t borrow trouble.” Worry is like trouble. Nothing good comes from fretting about what might happen. Planning ahead is a good idea. Worrying ahead is not. When we obsessively keep our minds in the “what if” state, we’re missing the possibilities of the “now” state. Now is active and full of potential. “What if” is a state of immobilization. Let’s lead a more “active” life this week, Queens, focusing more on the “now” than the “what if.” Happiness is in direct opposition to worry. Worry is a habit and a choice we need to break in order to embrace happiness. How can we break ourselves of the worry habit? Try making a list of at least 3 things, every day, that are good in your life. Sometimes they will be, “I have a roof over my head right now.” And sometimes they might be “I have teeth to brush.” The practice of mindful happiness can train our brains to notice the good more than the bad and to default to the positive more often than the negative. Worry need not remain a habit that keeps you from taking any joy in the moment. Practice mindful happiness.

When She Set Her Mind to Something

August 18th, 2015

When she set her mind to something, there was no stopping her. Period. - Queenisms™

When she set her mind to something, there was no stopping her. Period. – Queenisms™

You are stronger, wiser, braver and more capable than you know. When you set out to do something purposefully, you are more likely to succeed than when you say “well, I’ll try.” Need to get dinner ready when you’re feeling poorly? You do it. Need to get a sick child the care they need? You do it. You do what is necessary and important without fail. So following your dreams, making your heart’s desire into reality is no different. If it is truly important to you, most of the time you can make it happen. What is important to you? Let’s share and inspire one another. Our goal? Launch our new 2016 calendar and book this fall with gusto and continue to reach new people with our daily messages. Let’s try this. Every time you catch yourself thinking or saying “I’ll try,” stop and rephrase to “This is important to me. I will do this.” We’d love to hear your experience.