Queen of Your Own Life by Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff

Queen of Your Own Life is an attitude, a way of life and a call to action for grown up women everywhere.

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Queen of Your Own Life

Make a Spash

January 27th, 2015

She was a splash of color in an otherwise black and white world. She like that about herself. - Queenisms™

She was a splash of color in an otherwise black and white world. She like that about herself. – Queenisms™

When the need to fit in means becoming a copy of everyone else, the world gets a bit more drab. There are some good things about fitting in such as obeying traffic laws, observing common courtesy, doing no harm to others etc. But in terms of making yourself into a beige canvas so no one can see who you really are? Well, to us that’s a shame. We need more bold thinkers, brave doers and colorful characters to shake us all out of our own fog, sometimes. In a world that thinks in a black and white way, you can be a splash of color to remind everyone that there is often another way of looking at things. While it’s good to have definitive rules like traffic laws, it’s not so great to fall into black and white thinking that would subvert art, literature, scientific discovery, entertainment and individual expression.

Tell Your Internal Voices You’re in Charge

January 26th, 2015

She laid down the law to her negative internal voices, "What I need the most is love and encouragement, so if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all!" - Queenisms™

She laid down the law to her negative internal voices, “What I need the most is love and encouragement, so if you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all!” – Queenisms™

Yes, we know Thumper’s mother said this originally in Bambi, but we think it’s worth repeating as a Queenism and saying it directly to ourselves. Just because the negative messages don’t come from others, doesn’t mean they’re not brutally hurtful and dangerous. Lay down the law. Do not accept abusive behavior from others and especially do not accept it from yourself.

Your Secret Makes You Glow

January 25th, 2015

She had a little secret, and it made her glow. She'd finally learned to banish negative self-talk and admit she admired herself for the way she was navigating life. - Queenisms™

She had a little secret, and it made her glow. She’d finally learned to banish negative self-talk and admit she admired herself for the way she was navigating life. – Queenisms™

In our book, Queen of Your Own Life, we talk about having a Windy Mountain Moment. That’s when you close your eyes and imagine yourself standing on the top of a windy mountain and give yourself permission to look down at the path you took to reach this moment and this summit. Notice the places you’ve stumbled but gotten back up. Notice the meadows where the climb was less steep and the vistas were gentle and pretty. Notice the spots where you didn’t think you could go on but you did. Now open your eyes and look out over the beauty that is your life and thank yourself for the climb. You are a very hardy traveler with a lot of strength and we admire you. Can you admire yourself for getting to this place? Learn to admire yourself for your own personal journey, however rocky or smooth.

Sometimes She Felt Trapped

January 24th, 2015

Sometimes she felt trapped by everyone's expectations of her. Then she realized she had the key to open the door and set herself free. So she did. - Queenisms™

Sometimes she felt trapped by everyone’s expectations of her. Then she realized she had the key to open the door and set herself free. So she did. – Queenisms™

You always have the key. Your key might be different that our key but it’s just as good at unlocking a negative situation that holds your joy and happiness as a prisoner.  The key is called choice. Every day you make hundreds of choices; get out of bed or not, brush your teeth or not, think supportive thoughts or not, take actions to care for yourself or not. You always have the key to unlock that feeling of being trapped by loneliness, disappointment, fear, anger, hurt or lethargy. The key is called choice. Every choice is an opportunity to unlock that feeling of being trapped. Have you dared to put the key into the lock and swing open the door?

Magic Mirror on the Wall

January 23rd, 2015
She looked at herself in the mirror, made eye contact, and said out loud, "You are exactly perfect just the way you are and anyone that says different is a liar and a fool." - Queenisms™

She looked at herself in the mirror, made eye contact, and said out loud, “You are exactly perfect just the way you are and anyone that says different is a liar and a fool.” – Queenisms™

She looked at herself in the mirror, made eye contact, and said out loud, “You are exactly perfect just the way you are and anyone that says different is a liar and a fool.” – Queenisms™

Here’s a little secret. The voice of that magic mirror on the wall is your voice. No other worldly being is telling you what it sees. You’re telling yourself what you see, and you are not a liar or a fool. So find your true Queen voice and dare to speak out loud and tell yourself the truth. You are perfect, exactly as you are. Any goals or dreams to improve are simply finishing touches on a masterpiece, already in existence – you.

One Chuckle at a Time

January 22nd, 2015

She decided that every time she thought "I can't," she'd throw back her head and laugh. And she found she was remarkably brave, one chuckle at a time. - Queenisms™

She decided that every time she thought “I can’t,” she’d throw back her head and laugh. And she found she was remarkably brave, one chuckle at a time. – Queenisms™

Confession time. Queen Cindy here. I’m a public speaker and every single time I take the stage, often in front of thousands of people, my first thought is “I can’t.” Yet the evidence says otherwise. I spoke in front an estimated 15,000 or more people last year and the feedback I got was all positive. So now, I remember the evidence, acknowledge the fear (false evidence appearing real) and I throw my head back and laugh out. Then I take the stage and I feel brave. Whatever your challenge or whatever makes you say “I can’t,” I highly recommend you try this. Those negative voices do not like to be mocked. Go ahead and laugh at them.

What Had Never Been

January 21st, 2015

She decided to stop worrying about what had never been and open herself up to what could be. - Queenisms™

She decided to stop worrying about what had never been and open herself up to what could be. – Queenisms™

Whatever never was – we didn’t marry the right person, we didn’t get the best education, we didn’t get the job we wanted, we didn’t save enough money, we didn’t lose the weight, we didn’t win the prize – is a big, giant box of garbage that we’re carrying around. It’s heavy, and it stinks. Isn’t it time to lay that burden down?

We Believe You’re the Best

January 20th, 2015

She believed she was the best woman for the job, in almost every situation. And she was almost never wrong. - Queenisms™

She believed she was the best woman for the job, in almost every situation. And she was almost never wrong. – Queenisms™

Whether you believe it or not, we believe it so we’re just hammering this message home all week long. You are stronger, more capable, smarter and wiser than you know. We invite you to see yourself through our eyes until you see it for yourself.

Take the Ish out of Selfish Now

January 19th, 2015

Doing something nice for herself didn't make her selfish or take anything away from anyone else. She decided it was time to take the "ish" out of selfish. - Queenisms™

Doing something nice for herself didn’t make her selfish or take anything away from anyone else. She decided it was time to take the “ish” out of selfish. – Queenisms™

We’ve all done it and we’ll probably all do it again – put our own selves on the very bottom of our enormous “to do” list and find ourselves overwhelmed, exhausted and a little bit resentful. Here’s the thing. Somewhere along the line we got the message that taking care of ourselves was selfish. We interpreted that to mean that even following our dreams was selfish. This nonsense has to stop. When we value, respect and care for ourselves, we’re modeling healthy behavior for our children, our friends and those we love. We’re also signaling to the world that we believe we deserve to be treated respectfully. That doesn’t mean we won’t get overwhelmed or even sometimes treated badly. But it does mean we’ll be starting from a place of self-worth and not from the bottom of the well of low self-esteem. If you haven’t done something nice for yourself in a while, isn’t today a good day to start? Let’s take the ish out of selfish.

 

Giddy with Gratitude

January 18th, 2015

She knew people thought she was schmaltzy. But she didn't care. She was giddy with gratitude about so many things that just thinking about them made her cheeks hurt from smiling. - Queenisms™

She knew people thought she was schmaltzy. But she didn’t care. She was giddy with gratitude about so many things that just thinking about them made her cheeks hurt from smiling. – Queenisms™

We’ve been called Polyanna’s and we’re ok with that. We’ve also been called schmaltzy, which means overly sentimental. We’re ok with that too. It’s who we are and we’re declaring this the year of finding your true Queen voice. So whoever you are, we’re like to call upon you be yourself, proudly. We love how different we all are. And, we love how much we’re all the same. We all want love, respect, self-worth and a sense of security and safety for ourselves and those we love. That’s pretty solid common ground, we think. So today we’re simply giddy with gratitude that we get to spend a moment here, and on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest, with you every week.