Queen of Your Own Life by Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff

Queen of Your Own Life is an attitude, a way of life and a call to action for grown up women everywhere.

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Queen of Your Own Life

Valuable Lessons

April 15th, 2014

Queenisms are trademarked, original words and vintage images by Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff, authors of Queen of Your Own life.

She laughed when she realized that the most valuable lessons she’d learned were most definitely not those she’d been taught in school. They were the lessons learned by pulling herself back up on her feet after an unexpectedly difficult tumble.~ Queenisms™

You are not the only one who has stumbled. You are in excellent company. The list of bright, brilliant, gifted women who have looked at life from the ground after a stunning fall is so long we couldn’t begin to list them all here. The point is not that others have struggled. It is that struggle and mistakes are universal experiences. So keeping yourself down on the ground because you feel it shouldn’t have happened to you or because you feel ashamed or embarrassed is a self-imposed state of discomfort. Reach out your hand and let others prove to you that they’ll be there – as you make the effort to lift yourself up – cheering for you as you recover.

Looking back, is there a time when you didn’t think you’d make it, and yet you did? Let’s share our stories, our strength and cheer for one another.

A special thanks to Cynthia Jane Betarie for sharing a photo of her mom Ethel Mary Morgan

Calorie Free and Cheaper Than a Vacation

April 14th, 2014

Trademarked, original jolts of inspiration from Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff, authors of Queen of Your Own Life. All rights reserved but Pinning is encouraged from our website.

She gave herself the gift of a daydream. It was cheaper than a vacation and had zero calories. – Queenisms™

Daydreaming should be mandatory. Every woman should be required to daydream several times a week or get three lashes with a wet noodle. We need space in our lives to let our minds wander. Some people do this through meditation or exercise. That’s their way of getting themselves alone for a bit of quiet time. Others like to mow the lawn or garden. Whatever you like to do that let’s your mind wander is OK in our book. Talk a walk, lay down and let others think you’re napping. Take a drive (but park before you let your mind wanter). Do whatever it takes to carve out time to do “nothing.” We put nothing in quotes because the act of daydreaming is not nothing. It’s where you can listen to the sound of your own thoughts, imagine how you’d like to proceed in life and envision something more for yourself that you’ve yet to do. Isn’t this the stuff of life? Who’s up for a daydream?

Thumb Your Nose at Normal

April 13th, 2014

Original trademarked jolts of inspiration from authors Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff of Queen of Your Own Life.

She thumbed her nose at “normal.” She didn’t want to be normal. She didn’t want to know normal. She couldn’t imagine why anyone would want to live in a world where everyone was the same when we could all be gloriously, messily, ourselves. ~ Queenisms™

Normal is overrated, and it’s in the same category as unicorns. . .it doesn’t exist despite the plethora of myths saying it does. So let’s kick this idea of “normal” and our own falling short of normal to the curb, shall we? Who’s ready to say “I am not normal,” today?

April 12th, 2014

Queenisms are trademarked, original jolts of inspiration by Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff, authors of Queen of Your Own Life.When she came face to face with a closed door, she did not knock and wait quietly for an answer. She pulled out her tools, built her own door and flung it wide open in her own time, at her own pace. She was a woman of many talents. ~ Queenisms™

We’ve all got the ability to build our own doors, believe it or not. You wouldn’t be here, reading this right now, if you didn’t. We create, nurture, nurse, teach, build, and guide ourselves and others every single day. So why do we leave those secret longings locked away, waiting for someone to guess they’re behind the big, heavy door, and why don’t we simply create our own spotlight to make those longings into reality? Most often it’s because we don’t believe we deserve it. We may not believe we’re unworthy but we just can’t make the leap to “deserve.” We believe everyone deserves happiness. And in fact, above and beyond happiness, we believe you deserve joy. But everyone’s “joy point” is different. We might be utterly filled with joy to learn to play the violin but you might need to climb a mountain or drive a motorcycle to experience joy. Or, you might master a photoshop tool and create images that surprise and delight others – and that could give you joy :) Whatever secret longing is being that door waiting for you to knock, you simply must find a way to open that door. You deserve it.

Photo: Terry Quarles Mother Jo Quarles

Someone Brave and Fun

April 11th, 2014

Queenisms are original jolts of inspiration and vintage collage art work by Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff. All rights trademarked and reserved but Pinning is encouraged.

She wanted to spend more time with someone who was loving, brave, nurturing and fun. So she wrote herself a note. Queenisms™

When’s the last time you spent quality time with yourself? We mean really devoted the time to just doing what you wanted to know with no other agenda than to enjoy yourself. We thought so. It’s been a long time, hasn’t it? Well, let’s put that nonsense to bed right now and make a plan. When we first started making dates with ourselves for real “me” time, we had trouble answering the question, “what do I want to do?”  So we started a list and now we have a resource to help us when our imaginations feel a little dull from lack of use.  Here are just a few of the ways we like to spend our “me” time. We’d love to see your list too. Let’s share and encourage one another.


  • Reading while curled up on a lounge chair in a warm but shady spot
  • Playing with scissors, bits of paper, glue and other art supplies
  • Planting and harvesting tomatoes from a little container garden.
  • Making pesto from basil we grew
  • Floating in a pool
  • Napping
  • Taking in a sappy, happy or silly movie all by ourselves
  • Garage sales

How about you? What’s on your list?

The Ripple Effect of Courage

April 10th, 2014


Jolts of Inspiration from Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff, in daily Queenisms, a trademarked brand of Queen of Your Own Life. All rights reserved but Pinning is encouraged.She saw life as a series of beautiful possibilities. And with that simple, pure attitude, she gave courage and strength to others. ~ Queenisms™

We’ve often said that courage isn’t just rushing into a burning house to save a kitten. It’s also putting your feet on the floor every day and pointing them toward the door. It’s putting on a smile when you just want to curl up and cry. It’s creating a warm, safe spot to land for those you love. It’s daring to try things that scare the heck out of you. Sometimes it’s just doing what has to be done because to quit would create a mess worse than you’re in at the moment. And when we have courage, something miraculous happens. Those around us feel braver, surer, more positive. We create a ripple effect of hope, confidence and action. We are catalysts and sometimes we don’t even get to see the end result of what we set in motion. But just like the trees we plant today will shade a generation we’ll never meet, courage set lose in the world will impact future generations as we model living life with bravery. Both are worth doing, whether or not we see the results in our lifetime.  Has someone who is now gone impacted you in a positive way?

Photo: Holly Reaves Mom Syble Reaves

It’s Only Fair

April 9th, 2014

Queenisms are trademarked and original jolts of inspiration by authors Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff of Queen of Your Own Life. All rights reserved but Pinning is encouraged.

Today she was going to put herself first. Not because she was selfish but because the fair thing to do was take turns and she was long overdue for her turn. – Queenisms™

When is the last time you were at the top of your own “to do’ list? If two children were fighting about doing something fun, we’d all say “let’s take turns.” Yet we never say that to ourselves. We never get our “turn.” We’re calling for an end to that unfair practice and the only one who can stop it is you. Dare to take your turn today.

Photo: Araceli Ramirez’s mother, Guadalupe Castro

Organization and Optimism

April 8th, 2014

Queenisms are trademarked, original jolts of inspiration from authors Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff of Queen of Your Own Life. Pinning is encouraged.

Organization and optimism were her most powerful tools. And she wielded them with heroic results. ~ Queenisms™

We talk a lot about optimism and you know we feel like it’s one of the most important tools in your happiness tool belt. But we don’t often talk about organization. For us, a lack of organization is one of the greatest stresses in our lives. When we can’t lay our hands on an important piece of paper or we run around the house looking for our car keys or we’re afraid a neighbor will come to the door unexpectedly and see our messy house (and we mean REALLY messy), those worries and anxieties rob of of living fully and joyfully in the present. We’re taking a pledge this April to clear out some of the clutter, both physically and mentally, to make a big old space for joy. Who’s with us?

Photo: Anna Mendoza’s mom Anita

It’s Never Too Late For . . .

April 8th, 2014

Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff create original Queenisms: Jolts of Inspiration, daily on Facebook and their blog at http://QueenofYourOwnLife.com. All rights reserved.

Her childhood hadn’t been easy but it had made her the strong woman she was. Then she remembered – it was never too late to have a happy childhood. She decided to start A.S.A.P. – Queenisms™

If you’ve been spinning the tall tale that “it’s too late” for something, it’s time to come clean, stop fibbing to yourself and own up to the fact that it’s not too late. It’s not too late to treat your own “inner child” kindly. It’s not too late to reject and reframe those negative messages that may have come to you as a child. It’s never too late to adopt an attitude of wonder and gratitude. It’s never too late to be open to surprise and delight.

Believing You Can Survive

April 7th, 2014

Queenisms are original, trademarked works by Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff of Queen of Your Own Life. All rights reserved. Pinning is encouraged.

Deep down she knew she could survive anything that came her way. Now she had to start living like she believed it. Queenisms™

The evidence is overwhelming. You are a survivor. You’ve gotten this far and you’re still here. Now it’s time to admire the journey and truly believe you can keep surviving and dare we say it, even thrive. If we knew what we’d have to live through, we may never have dared to try. But in hindsight, we’ve been pretty remarkable and resilient, haven’t we all? What did you do that you might not have believed was possible? Come one, let’s share. We know you all have a story.