The 2016 Queen of Your Own Life Calendar is now on sale at Barnes & Noble, Amazon and other fine retailers. Grab yours while they’re still available and might we suggest that you stockpile a couple for gifts for all the Queens in your life? Thank you so much for being a part of the Queen of Your Own Life community and for sharing this news with your friends. We’re so proud of this beautiful boxed calendar and we can’t wait to hear what you think.
Everything changed when she stopped asking “why me,” and started saying “why not?” – Queenisms™
When bad things happen, it’s natural to ask “why me?” Yet that “why me” state of mind can keep us curled up in a ball, afraid to open our eyes, and stuck in our pain grief, fear or disappointment. It takes enormous courage to go from “why” to the next phase, which is “why not?” Why shouldn’t you be happy? No reason. Why shouldn’t you find joy? No reason. Why shouldn’t you dare to ask yourself what would add a spark of joy to your life? No reason. Do us a favor. Write your own list of things that are keeping you curled up in that metaphorical ball, asking “why me?” No write the words, “no reason” next to each thing that is holding you back. Now go the extra step and cross those obstacles out with a black marker. Now take one more courageous step and burn that list. Now repeat after us. I have an unlimited number of choices before me today. I will ask myself for permission to consider every choice I make today and if I the urge to say “why me?” comes up, I will change that to “why not me?” When bad things happen, it’s natural to ask “why me? Turn “why me” into “why not me” to break through fear.
After all the trouble, sadness, heartache and grief, she was still unbroken. And that was definitely nothing to sneeze at. – Queenisms™
You are not broken. You are the sum of all the pieces of your life and all the experiences you’ve had are those pieces. You are the woman you are today because of, not in spite of, those experiences. You’re like polished sea glass, sometimes tossed by the waves, perhaps rough on some edges, but deeply, purely beautiful and precious just as you are.
It was a good day for being alive. So she decided to celebrate. – Queenisms™
You’re reading this which means you have been presented with the opportunity to experience this day fully. Take it. Give yourself permission to revel in the chance to make choices that will bring you joy. Embrace friendship. Move yourself into the light of joy-filled experiences. Take a chance on trying something new. Buy yourself flowers. Sit quietly and read. Listen to music that uplifts your spirits. Thank yourself. Forgive yourself. Nurture yourself. Enjoy yourself. It’s a good day for being alive.
Standing still and listening to her heart was the most important thing she could do today. – Queenisms™
It’s one thing to ask yourself “what do I want?” It’s another thing to have the courage to stand, or sit, still and wait for the answer. Wait and listen; two very difficult actions for many of us. We live in a hyper world where immediate answers come flying over the internet to us at the push of a search button. But the heart and the soul are not Google. They require time, contemplation, quiet, reflection and finally listening skills. Let’s practice listening without having the pressure to act. We often don’t give ourselves the opportunity to listen because we’re afraid of what we’ll hear. So let’s remove that obstacle and promise ourselves it is ok, for today, to ask and listen. We do not have to take immediate action. We can wait until we’re ready. Just stand still and listen. For today, that is enough.
She decided it was time to only speak to and about herself in a positive way. She was going to treat herself the way someone you love very much should be treated. – Queenisms™
We believe you are basically a kind person. We think it’s highly unlikely you would intentionally hurt someone with your words. We also believe you do so on a daily basis. Who do you hurt? Yourself, of course. If you’re anything like us, you find yourself saying “I’m such a slob,” or “I’m so stupid,” or some variation on those everyday utterances that make up our self-talk. Foolishly, we think they are harmless offhand comments that mean nothing. But they mean a great deal. They seep into our subconscious and become a real self esteem issue. The good news is we can train ourselves to speak kindly to ourselves through our “stop, drop and reframe exercise.” Any time you catch yourself saying something negative to yourself, stop. Drop it immediately and reframe the statement in a positive way. Here’s an example. We catch ourselves saying “I’m so fat.” We stop. Consciously say to ourselves, “I’m going to drop this abusive language now.” Then we reframe like this. “I am not my weight. I am a person worthy of health, love and joy. I am worthy of my own support, love and affection, right now, as I am, no matter what.” Promise us that you will give this a try. You are worth the effort to change hurtful self-talk into supportive self-talk.
She promised herself she’d be happy when she was thinner, richer, and had a cleaner house. Luckily, she woke up and realized that was a crock of cheese and she was wonderful, as is! – Queenisms™
When we put off happiness, all we do is guarantee that today is stressful, hurtful, and filled with longing for the very thing only we can give ourselves – the choice to be present in the moment. It is pure nonsense that happiness is only possible when one has all the “things” we’ve come to associate with joy. So please, oh please, stop choosing to deny yourself the joy of your own life – right here, right now, as is! Happiness is not perfection. Happiness is not things. Happiness is the ability to choose to be yourself in this moment and be ok with that.
She was tired of allowing herself to be underestimated. She decided to turn up her power to full throttle and let it rip. – Queenisms™
Other people may underestimate us but we must never underestimate ourselves. You have everything you ever needed to make a life for yourself, all within you, at this moment. You have gumption, intelligence, intuition, a resourceful nature, a keen sense of direction and the ability to shift course when necessary. You’re observant, courageous, and we believe in you. Now go out there and let it rip!
When she let go of “would’ve, should’ve, could’ve,” she was positively unstoppable. – Queenisms™
If you’ve been following our posts for awhile or if you’ve read our first book, Queen of Your Own Life, you know that we believe the “would’ve, should’ve, could’ves” are responsible for blocking joy and real happiness in our lives. We think that along with setting strong boundaries and asking ourselves what we truly want, kicking these three bliss busters to the curb can make a big difference in your life. There is nothing – and we mean nothing – to be gained by anchoring ourselves to regret, shame, doubt and fear. Cut those loose. Move forward. Make new choices. Forgive yourself – and others. There are rainbows ahead if we’re able to lift our head and look up. You are unstoppable by everyone and everything except yourself. Get out of your own way and let yourself see the possibilities.
People had been cruel to her in the past but she hadn’t allowed it to damage her spirit. She was a kind woman with a core of polished steel. – Queenisms™
What happens to coal when it’s crushed under tons of weight over a long period of time? It becomes a diamond. Now we’re not suggesting that you need to be under a crushing weight to emerge as a diamond. We think you’re already a diamond. We’re simply suggesting that the cruel thoughts and actions of others don’t define you. That’s their own dark “stuff” that needs to be worked out by them. You have a steel core that can keep you upright even when everything around you is falling down. You are a beautiful, compassionate, kind, loving, funny, caring, brilliant, innovative woman who has a beautiful, hard as a diamond interior spirit. Unearth it and let the sun shine on that core – the world need more women of steel.