November 18th, 2014
People wondered at the way she could make everyone around her smile. Her secret was, she was quick to laugh, slow to criticize and frankly, making people smile put pep in her step. ~ Queenisms™
Here’s a simple question. Which makes you feel better – being cross with someone or making someone smile? If we go about our business each day with an attitude of adding something gentle to the world rather than battling every person, place or thing we come across, we’re creating a gentler world for ourselves – let alone for others. Now, there is nothing wrong with raging against injustice and wrongs. In fact, it’s our duty as citizens of this world to be angry about wrongs and hold one another accountable for living in a way that uplifts and supports us all. BUT, general curmudgeonly behavior serves no one. Here’s a simple test we swear will prove to you, once and for all, that attitude can alter your world.
Make a commitment, for one full day, to stop yourself, mid sentence, any time you find yourself complaining or speaking sarcastically to yourself or to others. Then rephrase in a positive uplifting way. For example, “Well, that took you a long time. I asked you to do that weeks ago,” becomes “Thank you for doing that thing I asked you to do. It means a lot to me that you finished it.” Someone bumping you absentmindedly in a store gets a “Oops, are you ok?” (and a smile) rather than a “Hey, watch it?” and a scowl.
Give both loved ones and strangers your most compassionate smile – just for one day. Then tell us how your day went. We think you’ll say it was a wonderful day. Why? Because we believe you are amazing women (and men), capable of creating the kind of lives you’d most like to have. We don’t just contribute to the energy around us. Sometimes we create it. So let’s intentionally create something wonderful.
November 17th, 2014
She was an ordinary woman leading an extraordinary life. It was a choice she made for herself every single day. ~ Queenisms™
Be extraordinarily ordinary. When we were children we were told we should grow up to be someone special, someone who would change the world. That’s a lot of pressure and not realistic, frankly. If every person in the world were extraordinary, well, that would be the norm and we’d all be ordinary. And, that’s our point. If we are all our best selves, using our innate gifts to the fullest, then extraordinary becomes ordinary. Wouldn’t that be wonderful.
What if, instead of striving to achieve something great, we approached our lives with an attitude of living fully in each day? We think that attitude would bring about more innovation, inspiration, motivation and transformation than anything we ever imagined. How about you?
November 16th, 2014
She’d said yes to everyone for so long she almost forgot what it was like to say yes to herself. Then she realized that every morning she had a second chance. ~ Queenisms™
When we first realize we’ve been saying no to ourselves by saying yes, all the time, to everyone else, we can feel sad or even a little ashamed of neglecting ourselves. As Cher says to Nicolas Cage in Moonstruck, “Snap Out of It.” Creating a life where we say yes to ourselves more often than no means changing our habits and our attitudes. For example, if we want to right size our weight for health reasons, our first thought might be “I have to say no to sugar.” But what if we adjust that lens and think “I have to say yes to feeling good in my body.” Saying no to some of the requests for our time also means saying yes to creating the time to focus on something important to us. No time to read, write, knit, garden, play or whatever lights you up inside? We humbly suggest there is plenty of time but you’ve given it to someone else by saying yes to every request. Of course, sometimes we must say yes when we want to say no. A loved one is hurt or sick and needs our care, a friend needs support, a pipe bursts and we need to wait for the plumber…life often requires a yes when we long to keep our yeses to ourselves. BUT, there are many discretionary yeses we’re giving out that could easily be reined in.
Whenever there is a request for your time, ask yourself these three questions. Am I willing to do this? Do I want to do this? Am I able to do this? If the answer to all is yes, go ahead and give your yes with love. If the answer to any of these is no, practice releasing the asker to find someone else by simply declining. We like to say “I’m sorry. That won’t be possible. Thank you for asking me though, maybe next time.” Happiness is a practice. Practice saying yes to yourself this week, Queens.
November 15th, 2014
She tried something new and failed. So she threw herself a tiny pity party. And when the party was over, she put on her thinking cap and got about the business of trying again. She was worthy of her own efforts. ~ Queenisms™
Feeling our frustrations and disappointments, rather than ignoring them, can help us move on from them to claim happiness. So throw yourself a tiny (and we mean tiny) pity party. You’d be super-human if you didn’t occasionally feel sad, frustrated or a tiny bit sorry for yourself because things didn’t work out the way you’d hoped. But if we sit in our disappointment for too long, we don’t just miss out on new opportunities, we create an attitude of failure and disappointment. We start to believe the myth that “bad things happen to me” or “I’m not good enough.” You have everything you need to try again, at whatever you originally failed at. We promise. Happiness doesn’t knock on your door and say “get out of bed and come with me.” Happiness needs to be invited over in the first place. Now let’s practice inviting happiness into our lives by having a tiny pity party here. Let’s bring something to the party we want to leave behind. Name it and leave it here.
Queen Cindy will start. “All of my life, I’ve been struggling with too much weight. I’ve told myself I’m a failure at getting my appetite under control. I have no will power. I’m a food addict. Other people seem to be able to eat what they want. Well, today I’m choosing me, my health and I’m continuing to find new ways to feel healthier, weight loss or no. I reject the notion that I can’t be happy unless I lose weight. I will keep trying and in the meantime, I will not put life on hold. Tiny pity party over.” You’re next.
November 14th, 2014
She decided today would be the day she paid attention to how she let people treat her and how she treated herself. She was one of a kind and deserved to be respected, cherished and loved. – Queenisms™
Here’s a little secret. The people in our lives are constantly looking to us to figure out how we want to and expect to be treated. We show them through countless little overt and subliminal messages we send out every day. When we make the decision to treat ourselves with respect, kindness and a sense of humor, that message is received by others as well. Now if treating ourselves gently is a new practice, undertaken because we want to change, it might take our friends and family a bit of time to get with the program and notice and adapt to the new messages. Remember, we decided to change, not them. So give them a little room to catch up but firmly insist that this is the way you will be treating yourself, from this moment on.
For example, if we decide to stop drinking alcohol because we’ve noticed it is interfering with our lives, some people with whom we enjoy a drinking relationship may feel abandoned. We may need to set a strong boundary, tell them we’re making a change and we may even need to create some distance while they get on board in supporting us. Others might immediately be able to rally in a positive way. Either way, the elimination of alcohol was a thing you decided to do for yourself and the opinions and eventually others will see that you take care of yourself. When we love and cherish ourselves, we teach others to love and cherish us or to move on.
Who’s tried to change their own attitudes toward themselves? Has your inner circle come around or are you still struggling to set boundaries and change attitudes? Let’s share our strength by sharing our stories.
November 13th, 2014
She didn’t think of herself as a super hero. Saving lives, soothing hurts and opening hearts was just what needed to be done. She knew the path to happiness was the one you forged yourself. ~ Queenisms™
Every woman we know is a super hero. You may not think of yourself that way but let’s examine this idea. What do super heroes do? They do the improbable in the face of adversity or danger and they do it without thinking of the consequences to themselves. Every day when those in pain get out of bed and do what needs to be done to live life, we see super heroes. Every child who grows up to find his or her way in the world – raised by a super hero. Every business that runs smoothly because some women did her job with consistency and commitment enjoyed the benefits of working with a super hero. Every person who was uplifted by the kind words, opened door or encouraging smile of someone had a brush with a super hero. Some heroic acts are huge. Some are tiny. Most are done because they needed to be done. Let’s all smile to ourselves, knowing our super hero emblem may not be visible to everyone, but it’s still there.
Super heroes do the improbable in the face of adversity or danger without thinking of the consequences to themselves. Sounds like every woman we know.
Photo: Ginny Green’s Aunt Gertie Pritchard
November 12th, 2014
Sometimes, to get it all done, she felt like she was moving faster than the speed of light. She decided to take some time during the day just for herself. The gift of a few moments stop and think about how much she had accomplished rather than punish herself for how much was left to do. ~ Queenisms™
We tend to think of sitting quietly as selfish. After all we should be doing something, right? But the gift of a few moments, quietly enjoyed, daydreaming or just letting ourselves breathe deeply, is not selfish. It’s self sustaining. We say this often but if the well is depleted, no one gets any water. Do you allow yourself the gift of slowing down and taking a break? Let’s share some ideas and help one another to prepare for a season that speeds up if we’re not consciously scheduling time to relax.
The gift of a quiet moment is something we can’t ask Santa to deliver. We have to give it to ourselves.
November 11th, 2014
Sometimes her life felt like a wild west rodeo. So she learned to say “YEE HAW!” ~ Queenisms™
We KNOW you’ve felt this way before, Queens. We sure do. Just when you think you’ve got everything in your life running smoothly, along comes a bucking bronco of a problem, change or concern that flings you into the arena and makes you feel as though all you can do is hang on. Here’s a secret. That’s not going to change. But what can change is the way you face that ride.You can choose to remember that chaos is temporary. You can choose to laugh at many of life’s mishaps. You can choose to hear the number of people cheering for you as you hang on. You can choose not to fall into panic and despair. When life feels like you’re a rodeo rider on top of a bucking bronco, don’t ask “why me?” Instead think “I’m a terrific rider and I will outlast this bronco.”
You can live in fear or faith. Fear is that overwhelming feeling that things are never going to settle down and that bad things will continue to happen, forever, with no end in site. Faith is the calm feeling, in the face of chaos, that reminds you that you are capable of weathering any storm and coming out the other side willing and able to turn your face to the sun, again. Faith doesn’t mean you believe you’ll never face trouble. It only means you believe you understand you are a woman of substance, creativity, ability and worth. You are worthy of the effort it takes to hang on to that bucking bronco until you get to safety. Hang on Queens. You can do it.
November 10th, 2014
One day she realized that life wasn’t something to just get through. Life was a gift, an adventure and a treasure hunt that came with an engraved invitation to find happiness and joy. ~ Queenisms™
That invitation is always available to you. In fact, we’d like to make it official. You are cordially invited to participate fully in your own life, choosing to see more good than bad, daring to speak kindly to yourself and other, and treasuring each breath you take. Please RSVP.
November 9th, 2014
They thought she was quiet and demure. But she simply had a well developed nonsense barometer that alerted her to idle chatter which she often chose to ignore. ~ Queenisms™
When those around us are aflutter with gossip or fear mongering, or speculation, we can simply decline to participate. Isn’t that wonderful? We love the phrase many Queens have posted on our Facebook page – “Not my monkeys. Not my circus,” and wish we’d heard that earlier in our lives. Not every drama can be dismissed but many, many can. We do not need to be in the center of every story and in fact, when we are, we are guaranteed to feel depleted and distressed. Hone your own personal nonsense barometer to filter out the idle chatter from the important stuff and give yourself the gift of a much calmer, happier life.
Are you able to walk away from drama, with love? Let’s share our stories and share our strength. You never know when your story will help someone else.