Queen of Your Own Life by Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff

Queen of Your Own Life is an attitude, a way of life and a call to action for grown up women everywhere.

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Queen of Your Own Life

Do you believe in second chances?

May 26th, 2015

Do you believe in Second Chances?

Each week we like to start a conversation because we want to know where you are in your journey and how we can best be of service to you in finding happiness? This week we’d love to chat with you about second chances, both for yourself and for others. Do you believe in second chances? Have you given a second chance to yourself? What about to someone else? How did that work out? We can’t tell you how much we appreciate it when you take the time to respond. It means the world to us. Some days we’re reading your comments and tears are streaming down our faces. Some days we laugh so hard, we snort. Being on this life journey together is precious to us and we thank you for being here.

Thankful to Be a Pollyanna

May 26th, 2015

When anyone told her was a Pollyanna, she simply smiled and said "why, thank you!" - Queenisms™

When anyone told her was a Pollyanna, she simply smiled and said “why, thank you!” – Queenisms™

When we were kids we read the bestselling novel by Eleanor Porter, Pollyanna, and fell in love with the “glad game.” The title character was an early proponent of gratitude. Whenever she was sad, she’d think of things she was glad about. She was a perpetual optimist and her attitude changed those around her for the good.

We want to be Pollyanna, and in many ways we are. We try very hard to see the positive in every person we meet. So when people tell us we’re being a “Pollyanna,” we just smile and say thank you.  Has there ever been a situation in your life when you were able to turn things around by seeing the good more than the bad? Let’s share and inspire one another. Optimism isn’t just a lifestyle, it’s a healthy strategy for thriving in the world.

Remember

May 25th, 2015

Memorial Day is to remember and honor those who have died while serving in our country's military. She chose to do so by living her life that day and every day with joy and to the fullest. - Queenisms™

Memorial Day is to remember and honor those who have died while serving in our country’s military. She chose to do so by living her life that day and every day with joy and to the fullest. – Queenisms™

We’d like to say thank you to every person who served in our military, thank you for your service. And to those we cannot thank, because they did not return, we offer our gratitude and our promise that we will live our lives with purpose, joy and honor.

Everything Will Be Okay

May 24th, 2015

She was filled with relief when she decided that everything was going to be okay...no matter what. - Queenisms™

She was filled with relief when she decided that everything was going to be okay…no matter what. – Queenisms™

The key word here is she “decided.” Okay, we realize that we can’t just will everything to be okay. But we can decide, in most cases, that we are going to do everything in our power to make it so. We can make choices that lead us to a safer place. We can make choices about the company we keep. We can make choices, however hard, to do the things that support our health and well being. We can decide everything will be okay . . . and then we can make it so. We know this because we know you are stronger than you think, braver than you know, wiser than you can imagine and more capable than you suspect. We all have everything we need, within us already, to do what needs to be done, have our own backs and make sure everything will be okay.

Abundance of Fun

May 23rd, 2015

The important chores were mostly done and so she decided to dance her way through the rest of them. She believed in rewarding herself with an abundance of fun. - Queenisms™

The important chores were mostly done and so she decided to dance her way through the rest of them. She believed in rewarding herself with an abundance of fun. – Queenisms™

Do you wait until everything is “perfect” before rewarding yourself with fun? Do you put joy on hold because there’s “so much to do?” We’d like to respectfully invite you to knock it off. Joy and fun, happiness and pleasure are all meant to be included in your every day life – at every moment. There will never be a time in your life when the work is all done and the moment is perfect. It’s the tiny, imperfect, flawed, moments we take that matter. This week let’s vow, to ourselves and to each other, to take a few moments each day to stop, look around and find some silly, pointless, playful, humor-filled, gentle thing to do “just because.” We’d love it if you could share with us. When we share our stories, we share our strength. It’s time for an abundance of fun, don’t you think?

Do the Happy Dance

May 22nd, 2015

After she made the decision to be herself, everything else just fell into place. Now she was busy doing the happy dance. - Queenisms™

After she made the decision to be herself, everything else just fell into place. Now she was busy doing the happy dance. – Queenisms™

When Queen Cindy was in college, she changed her major from an education degree to a theater arts degree. About a month into her new course of study, she told her mom that the classes were so easy, she felt like she wasn’t going to school. Her mom told her something very wise that sticks with her today. “It’s easy because you’re doing something you love and everything is falling into place – your talents and your passions are working together to make it seem easy.” In looking back, she can see that the classes weren’t easy for everyone. They were easy for her because she was in the right place and being her true self. Has that ever happened to you? We’re doing the happy dance more often than not these days because we’re doing what we love. We’re finding that writing, creating art, talking to you on this blog and through social media – all of those things light our inner fire. What do you do that makes you do the happy dance in life? When you’re true to yourself and honor your authentic voice, there’s room in your life for the happy dance.

Fierce When Required

May 21st, 2015

She was on a journey that sometimes required her to be fierce. She was up to the task. - Queenisms™

She was on a journey that sometimes required her to be fierce. She was up to the task. – Queenisms™

That moment when your back is up against a wall and everything you hold dear is threatened might not ever come. We hope it doesn’t. But in a thousand tiny little ways, nearly every one of us has found herself (or himself) needing to dig down and find our inner fierceness. We’ve had to move forward when we wanted to fall back. We’ve had to speak up for ourselves when it would have been easier to be silent. We’ve had to stand up when our whole body longed to sit back down. That’s fierce. You’re fierce. We’d like to tell you you’ll never need to be fierce again, but we’d be lying. You are up to the task, whatever and whenever your inner fierceness is required. You, my dear Queens, have got your own back. Never forget that.

She Didn’t Care

May 20th, 2015

She used to worry what people said about her when she wasn't around. Now that she'd decided to be the Queen of her own life, she didn't care anymore. - Queenisms™

She used to worry what people said about her when she wasn’t around. Now that she’d decided to be the Queen of her own life, she didn’t care anymore. – Queenisms™

There was a time in our lives where we worried about what other people might think. We worried they might be talking about us behind our backs. Maybe they were – or maybe they weren’t. It doesn’t really matter. What matters is that we’ve come to a place where we care more about our opinion of ourselves than what others might say. We care about things like friendship, humor, kindness, generosity, adventure, joy, releasing self-judgment and things like that. What others may or may not say when we’re not around just isn’t important to us anymore. We still want to be liked. That’s human nature. But we don’t think about it as often as we used to. Is that one of the joys and gifts of the wisdom that comes with age? Probably. How about you? Are you able to let it go?

Do you admire you?

May 19th, 2015

Can you say "I admire you," to yourself?

Can you look in the mirror and say to yourself “I admire you?” For many of us, the word admire is loaded. We don’t think we can admire someone who has made mistakes. Spoiler alert. There is no one who has made no mistakes. We’d like to hear you say “I admire you,” to yourself, even if you feel foolish, even if you feel like a fraud, even if you don’t quite believe it – yet. Will you try? Will you say it with us? Learning to admire our perfectly imperfect selves is a key ingredient in the happiness equation.

Make Ripples

May 19th, 2015

She forgave herself for that brief moment when she forgot she was awesome, and vowed not to let that happen again. - Queenisms™

She forgave herself for that brief moment when she forgot she was awesome, and vowed not to let that happen again. – Queenisms™

In those moments of doubt about our abilities, our worth, our value and our purpose, we tend to forget we are already “good enough.” Anything we choose to do, seek, say, accomplish or otherwise add to our lives or the lives of others is gravy. We are enough. Our simply being is worthy. So those moments when we beat ourselves up because we don’t look like a movie star or we don’t have a Porsche in the driveway or we don’t have a picture perfect family are the moments when we’ve forgotten that the value in our lives is in the fact that we exist – filled with possibilities. Most often we do not get to know who we’ve impacted in a positive way and how they in turn impacted others and created a ripple that lead to something even we might consider “awesome.” That’s ok. It’s not our job to see the whole picture. It’s our job to have the courage to show up in life and do the best we can with the gifts we possess. If you don’t think you have gifts, we just have to say, you are wrong. Let’s refocus our attention this week, away from doubt about our awesomeness and put it squarely on creating little ripples in the world. Hold the door open for someone – even if they don’t have their arms full. Maybe they have their hearts full or are carrying a burden you can’t see. Thank everyone who even remotely helps you this week. You’ll never know how much they might need to be appreciated or acknowledged. Bite your tongue this week when it comes to criticism of others. Give them the gift of your tolerance. The ability to walk through your week without leaving bodies in your wake is one gift you can access. The other is to walk through your week leaving flowers where thorns might have been trying to break through the cement. Who’s with us? Let’s be ok with the fact that we do not get to know who we’ve impacted or how they in turn impact others to create a ripple that leads to something awesome.